Moonlight Phoenix has risen

music, feminism, spirituality, words and more

How I started my 29th year of being alive…

on July 14, 2013

So I haven’t blogged for a while but a lot has happened since then. Not too long ago, it was my 29th birthday and despite it not being a particularly ‘special’ birthday, it seems to be full of significance already.

Not too long before, it was the Summer Solstice, so we attended a magical fire ceremony, which was the first one we’ve attended which was in daylight. On one of the most magical days of the year, I also got to choose my first rattle. It’s truly beautiful, and was used that very night.

I celebrated my birthday on the Saturday before, and I haven’t felt so blessed in a long time. I got given so many cards this year (some of them really beautiful ones too) and got given some lovely gifts.

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On my actual birthday, it was fairly relaxed evening, but it was after that, things went very hectic! On the Wednesday afterwards, I did my first gig review of the year- The Black Angels at the Electrowerks in London. This wasn’t with a plus one, so I had to attend alone, I’ve been to one gig alone before, but it was still a fairly big deal for me. I was very happy that I had an excellent time, found my way there and back without any problems, and I spoke to another girl there who makes her own photo fanzine. I also caught a paper air plane set list! I was quite proud of the photos I took too, considering I’m no photographer. I’ll post the link to the review once it’s up

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The day after, was spiritual group class.  We did aura readings and I was quite impressed that I was picking things up about the person I was working with. My partner picked up with me that I have lots of green and blue, and almost a halo of protective, divine energy above my head.

And…then there was Friday..Firewalk day! I only started feeling nervous on the day and the nearer it got, the more nervous I felt. Just before I had to read a safety disclaimer, and my stomach bubbled away, my adrenalin was running faster and faster, as each minute meant it was almost time to face the fire. We all helped to build the fire, to out all our energy into it. The fire was huge and extremely hot!

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I was faced with the arrow again, this time I did at least try, although I still couldn’t break it. I now have the arrow until I can learn this technique. Hopefully one day I’ll do it!

We were told about how to do the fire walk, so I took this information in. As we all stood around the fire, I still wasn’t sure that I would go through with it, so I watched as a few others done their walk. After a little while, I got up my nerve and made it across, and felt the love and support of the other people that are in my group as they all came over to hug me and congratulate me, I felt ecstatic and emotional, I started crying!

That wasn’t it though! I done the walk four more times. Once, I walked across and shouted ‘Happiness!”, another one for a photo, and then with my friend Sue and finally one in silence, in prayer. I still can’t quite believe it as I haven’t seen the photos yet, and I didn’t get any ‘fire kisses’! My feet felt a bit hot after but not painful. I couldn’t recommend this enough to anyone, you feel so incredibly empowered afterwards, it’s hard to describe how amazing it feels. I really hope to get to do it again at some point.

Last weekend, I spent the day and night apart from Miguel for the first time in quite a long time, as he was away for the night to do a shamanic workshop. It was a magical day for both of us, and made me realise how connected we are. We had seen a lot of the same things in the separate spiritual work we were doing- we both saw a robin and blue dragonflies for instance.

then from the new moon earlier this week till the next one, I’ve been and will be doing something quite difficult but an important lesson. I’ve got to work without any tools and also without my altar. So far I haven’t done any rituals, so the main things I’ve done without tools, is mediate without music in the morning- which has been hard but not as bad as I thought, as I can hear the birds singing outside when I do it, and not picking any cards in the morning.

I felt very emotional taking my altar down, and could feel how powerful it was as I packed it away carefully. The not using tools and no altar, is about realising your own power and also treating yourself as part of divinity, as divinity is not only just the things outside yourself- but is also within, so we need to treat ourselves as sacred just as we would our altar and the nature around us. It’s making me realise I don’t always treat myself in this manner, it’s a slow learning process, but I’m sure I will have gained a lot by the end of the cycle.

 

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