Moonlight Phoenix has risen

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Discovering Empowerment

In my last blog, I mentioned that one of the sweat lodges I did was about initiation, and I chose to become a ‘woman of power’. Recently I also took part in an ‘Empowering Woman Day’ workshop. This was an amazing workshop, and a brilliant day. I met some wonderful women and connected some more with ones I knew already. We did lots of things- releasing, sharing, healing. The most scary thing we did that none of us knew we would be doing was a glass walk…

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For whatever reason, I was nervous but not as nervous as with the fire walk. I felt very calm and I stepped slowly over the glass. It’s so strange, you feel incredibly peaceful afterwards.

What I really discovered though, as that I am already empowered! I realised how much I have changed in the last few years and that I am already strong and just didn’t realise how strong I was!

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Initation and Releasing: The Double Whammy- Sweat Lodges!

I’ve mentioned in the last few posts I’ve written that I’ve been experiencing some powerful spiritual moments. One of them has been my experiences of sweat lodges. I’ve never done one before and I’d never even considered it, to be honest I didn’t really know much about it. But recently I’ve had the chance to do two of them within two weeks of each other!

The first one I got to do was because Miguel and I actually helped to build it! Apparently sweat lodges last about 18 months or so before they need to be taken down and started afresh. It was an interesting process to see it gradually being built up, using mostly very natural materials like tree branches, and then being covered in duvets, blankets and more. It was all done in a very sacred manner. This is what it looks like:

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(Thanks to Crystal for this photo)

As we helped to build the lodge we were allowed to take part the following day in the first ceremony to be held in it which was to be about ‘Initiation’. I chose to be initiated as a ‘woman of power’ to bring empowerment to myself and to be able to step forward in my life with confidence and no fear. 

It was a day long ceremony, as we helped to bless the rocks that would be used, cleansed ourselves with empowering flower infused water which we had all helped to make and mentally and physically prepared our bodies for the ceremony we were about to undertake.

I won’t go into detail of what was said in the lodge as that isn’t for me to share publicly, but there was lots of talking, releasing and opening up. The best way to describe it really is like a ‘spiritual sauna’. But it’s also a lot different to sauna! It gets hotter with each ’round’ you do, as more and more hot rocks get added to the middle of the lodge, and the only light when the make shift door is closed is literally the vague glow coming from the rocks. It’s pitch black!

The first time, I only managed to last two rounds and a tiny bit of the third (out of four). As I crawled out, laying on the floor and received the healing given by the firekeepers, my head was thumping and I felt like I was spinning, but then I saw a white light shine all over me and what looked like an eagle fly directly at me. I opened my eyes and just looked at the sky line, and I did feel like I had just woken up into a new life.

Lots happened after that day. It was then I started seeing all the butterflies. I started being able to speak up about things I couldn’t before. Suddenly I stopped getting headaches which I had been suffering with and I could deal with work with ease each day, there wasn’t any work that I couldn’t handle or got confused about.

Two weeks or so later, we did another sweat lodge, this time as part of our spiritual group class, so as it was in the evening, it was shorter this time. This one was about releasing. We had no idea how so many of us were going to fit! Somehow we managed to fit in, in one slightly cosy circle.

Again, I won’t go into detail of what I or anyone else chose to release, but it was very powerful and emotional. For me, there were a lot of tears, when I released some things that have been weighing me down for the last few years. At last I could take it off my shoulders.

This time I lasted all of the three rounds we did. There were no eagles or white lights this time. The following day I felt ill though, hot still and emotional. After a day I felt okay physically but still found myself crying now and again.

Now the guilt, anxiety, worry, stress, and fear I felt over the stuff I released is gone. My feelings about certain things have really changed dramatically. I also recently done something else powerful which I now didn’t feel the fear as much as I thought I would have done…but that’s for another blog 🙂

 

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The Altar

There’s been so much going on with me lately I have so many things to blog about but I have decided to start with a blog about my altar,

Recently I went for a whole moon cycle without my altar. This was a strange experience for me, I’ve had one going for the past fifteen years- in all the places I’ve lived, ever changing but always there. The altar is a sacred space- usually a small table (although I’ve used the top of chest of drawers before) decorated with sacred items and objects that may have deep meaning for your beliefs or even things that are just really personal to you that you hold sacred. Some books suggest you have items to represent the four elements, and a symbol of the God and the Goddess. My personal feeling is you have to go with what you feel you need. The things I’ve always got on the altar are my Bast statue (for the Goddess), a Green Man jewellery box (for the God) , my athame and some candles. I usually change it through the wheel of the year, so usually the colours and items will reflect the season.

Altars are places to pray, to meditate, to sit in silence before. I meditate and pray in front of mine every day- and choose my card for the day too. I also do rituals and spells in front of it. It was only when I had to take it down I realised how much energy it holds. As I carefully took off my items and packed them away, I was almost buzzing with the sheer power I felt radiating, but I also felt overwhelmed with emotion. It’s a very personal thing. The reason why I did it was an exercise in the witch crafting book I’ve mentioned before. It was about being the altar yourself- so treating yourself in the same sacred manner. I was also not using tools during this time. It made me learn a lot really- that I hadn’t been treating myself as sacred, like some things like not throwing away clothes that were no good any more for instance. It was about learning that as everything around us is part of the God and the Goddess, so are we! I had loads of major significant spiritual things happen to me while I was in this period and I did do some rituals too, which felt even more powerful somehow.

Nevertheless I was really happy when it was the New Moon and I could put it back up! I did this in sacred ritual, cast my circle, blessed the altar with all the elements, used my rattle over it, and blessed everything I put on it. This time I haven’t connected it with the season but I put what I felt was right, some new items and some things didn’t go back on this time round but it feels right. Here are some photos of my various altars and how it looks now. (last two are what it looks like now)

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Butterfly

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It seems recently, another power animal has decided to appear in my life. I’ve had a few significant sightings of animals in the last few months but this has been the most. For the last few weeks I’ve been seeing butterflies everywhere. I began to count them, I will normally see at least 10 but usually more- on two of the days I’ve seen over fifty!

Most of them are the white butterflies, but there are also a few red admirals and some light blue ones. But it goes beyond even actual butterflies. On the days I haven’t seen so many (mainly due to weather) I’ve seen people with butterfly tattoos, butterfly images in the most random places- garden bins, door decorations, even on a supermarket till! I don’t think this is a coincidence. Yesterday I did a very significant ceremony (more to come in that in a future post) and as I went to put my bag away in the conservatory there was a butterfly inside! It wouldn’t leave, as much as I tried to encourage it to go out the window. I came back a few minutes later and it had gone. Then one appeared just before the main part of the ceremony began.

I’m very honoured the butterfly has came to me- they are truly a beautiful symbol. They symbolise transformation, change, joy, freedom, beauty and even spiritual development. So much of this I can relate to right now.  I thought I had finished discovering myself. But then this year everything changed, including me. I discovered there was more to me, and I’ve been slowly shedding from my cocoon. My wings are emerging and I’m learning to fly.

 

 

 

 

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