Moonlight Phoenix has risen

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April 2015- Scream in, Scream Out, Time for Healing..

so how has April been? Well read ahead to find out…

My Key Focuses for 2015

FRIENDSHIP- this has probably been my quietest month so far this year for social activity. Started feeling quite positive as I have mostly been this year but then a week ago my Nan died and my mood has gone plummeting with it. I haven’t done anything social for 2 weeks now and having pangs of friendship loneliness again. Lots of people were very nice when my nan died, and I know they said I could ask for anything I needed, but I guess all I wanted was for someone just to come round and give me a hug and listen for a bit. For some reason I didn’t bring myself to ask for that. I guess I’ve seen others that have gone through similar and they seemed to cope better by being alone. I did get invited to someone’s birthday party and I didn’t go. Now I regret that I didn’t.  I think being alone doesn’t work for me. I guess death does cause different feelings and perhaps confusion. (on the day I found out, I was so not with it, I ended up getting lost on a bus)!! On the other hand now I’ve admitted that I’m feeling a bit low, some of my lovely friends are trying to make plans with me which is nice.

FUN- obviously this hasn’t been present much this month either. I did have a really fun day at my friend Sherry’s Soup meeting you can find out more about Southend Soup here. I got lots of free books, read some of my poems, got my face painted and most importantly Miguel pitched there! (he didn’t win but did do very well)

edit: almost forgot the steam fair! That was so much fun!

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CREATIVITY AND INSPIRATION- didn’t do so much of this in April. I did get my book proof read though and I wrote a poem for my nan which I will be reading at her funeral next week.

Goals/Aims

To have regular healing clients- had hoped to focus on this during April but I didn’t. I did however have one new client.

To be a supervisor- this died right down this month, I just need my manager to help me finish the training book then I can do the test.

To finish my book- onto the next stage now, got good feedback, the person who read it also offered to put out a few grammatical errors for me but I haven’t heard back yet.

To visit Glastonbury, Gaunts House and Three wishes festival- nothing. I had put some money aside to go to Glastonbury but I ended up using it to buy a ticket to see L7!!

To be better at birthdays- still not been good at this!

go along to street spirit- didn’t do this either..

spend less time on Facebook- I did do this! I came back onto social media but I have changed the way I use it, I didn’t put Facebook or Twitter back on my phone and now when I look I don’t bother to read the whole feed. I just look at the past hour’s posts, messages, notifications and the groups, then come off again.

reconnect with my pagan/witchy side- read one Scott Cunningham book that I wasn’t that keen on

go into nature more- I went for a nature walk every week! I’m now increasing it to twice a week. I really love it when I do.

watch less t.v- probably been watching a bit more this month

get into music again- got excited about a gig for first time in ages! I was at the computer at 9am waiting for the L7 tickets for London to come on sale. So excited I got one!

Things I’ve done this month:

Lovely start to this month as my friend Sherry organised a fundraising meal at the Railway as part of her fundraising efforts for Mind for the Brighton Marathon. you can still sponsor her here

The following evening was the Inspiring Women meeting, there were a lot of new ladies and my friend Lauren came along for the first time.

Miguel and I went with our friends Karen and Trevor, Fiona and John and a few others to a vintage Steam funfair that was on in Chalkwell Park. It was a lot of fun, if a little expensive. I couldn’t go on as many rides as I would have liked but I had lots of fun on the ones I did, we went on the carousel, on the swingboat (which was fun and scary as there were no barriers)! and I went on the swings that spun round really fast and high up in the air, it was like I was flying!

My women’s circle this month was another small one with just 3 of us, but was about happiness and went well. We talked in depth about what makes us happy and challenged ourselves with questions to make us really think about this. Then made a happiness pledge (which I feel like I’m failing at the moment oops)

I went into Leigh on one on my days off with Miguel which was really nice as it was a sunny day and there was no specific plan so it was just enjoyable. We went to a crystal shop, had a juice at a juice bar, explored a graveyard and went to a health shop. On the same day I went to my friend Susan’s with my other friends Fiona and Sara which was nice.

The following day I went for a walk in Chalkwell park with Sara which was really lovely and we hugged a tree!

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My friend Lorna has temporarily moved back to Essex so she came to visit one day which was lovely as I hadn’t seen her for ages 🙂

There was Southend Soup- which I mentioned earlier in the post and then it gets quieter. I had a dentist appointment (boo)! and a healing client on the same day (yay).

I went to visit my grandad with my family, I do feel so sad for him. We did get to look at old photos though which was lovely as I saw lots of photos I hadn’t seen of my brother and me before!

Then we get to the present day and I have been doing overtime galore and not much else….

but you know what they say ..

things can only get better!

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I’ll Think of You

for my nan who died 22nd April 2015

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When I see a pansy

I’ll think of you and your beautiful garden you tended to with care

When I hear a storyteller

I’ll think of you and your stories of Dee Dee the fairy

that always made me smile

When I smell an extra strong mint

I’ll think of you and how I hated that taste!

but my brother loved them

When I stroke a dog

I’ll think of you and the dogs you’ve had over the years

On Boxing Day

I’ll think of you

inviting all the family to your home

even though it was a tight fit

every time I see a beautiful painting

I’ll think of you and how you used to paint with watercolours so bright

every time I write

I’ll think of you and how you used to listen to what I had to say

everyday I’ll think of you and your smile

and that twinkle in your eye

everyday I’ll think of you knowing you’re still here in my heart

as a part of me that will never leave

everyday I’ll be thankful that I knew you

and we were connected

everyday I’ll be thankful for your encouragement and creativity

that in turn sparked my own creative fire

everyday I’ll be thankful for your passion and appreciation of beauty

everyday I will love you

and know one day

I’ll see you again…

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March 2015- You tell me I’m exceptional and I promise to exploit you..

And another month has passed! This was an interesting one, as it was a whole month without social media! If you read my last few posts you can read how I get on, but put it this way, I have been super productive! But more detail lies within this blog post…

My Key Focuses for 2015..

FRIENDSHIP- Another quietish month. I still feel good about my friendships at the moment though. This month was more about working on my projects and looking within..

FUN- well, as said on previous post, I didn’t do as much socially, not that I didn’t do anything, but they weren’t about fun in the sense of laughing and letting the inner child. (and I know she is dying to come out and play)!

CREATIVITY AND INSPIRATION- this is my focus I did the best on during March. As I suddenly found I had more free time, I actually worked on my book, I did the edit for the feminist chapter I’m contributing and I have put together a collection of spiritual poetry. A little more work to do but soon I will be ready to take the next steps and self publish.

Goals/Aims

Regular paying clients for my healing- again, not really my focus but I did have one again.

To be a supervisor- I’m now working on the study book for management, so won’t be long before I could take that position. I also passed my Product Advisor test, so now I’m a fully qualified associate for Holland and Barrett!!

To Finish my book- as I’ve already said, I did great with this! I’m now ready to have it proof read and then take it from there. It’s not long, but I’m happy with it.

To Visit Glastonbury, Three Wishes and Gaunts House- I think the only one that is realistically going to happen this year is Glastonbury. I have started putting money aside for it. I’m also on a mission now to get to Stonehenge for the Summer Solstice, so I’m hoping we will be able to combine it with a visit to Glastonbury. I’m telling as many people as I can, because we will find someone eventually that will want to go too, and then we will solve the problem of getting there easily!

To be better at birthdays- still a bit rubbish!

go along to street spirit- still haven’t been able to go.

spend less time on Facebook- well I didn’t spend ANY time on it in March!

reconnect with my pagan/witchy side- starting use pagan manifesting techniques..

go into nature more- only 1 again but I’m working on this, and trying not to let weather put me off, as this is really important to my path.

watch less t.v- yes I’ve been reading a lot also!

get into music again- I bought my first album of the year Paulo Nuttini’s ‘Caustic Love’ which I really like. I also heard Courtney Barnett on the radio and really like her 🙂

Things I’ve done this month:

I went to Million Women Rise for the first time in two years. I went along with some of the Essex Feminist Collective, so I met some new interesting people and it was a good day.

I went to a group called H.U.G.S that do holistic talks once a month, this was the first one I’d been drawn to go to which was about astrology and it’s impact on your health.

A mini fire ceremony at our friend Roberta’s house where I burnt notes of what I wanted to get rid of, and what I wanted to bring in.

I caught up with my friend Sue as I hadn’t seen her for months as she hasn’t got a car at the moment. I met her from her work for lunch and we went to a small cafe and I had stuffed peppers without the cheese which actually turned out to be really yummy 🙂

My women’s circle this month was about crystals, and I was going to hold it in a local park but the weather was so bad we had to change the venue to my flat where we would be warm! There was only 3 of us this month but we had a nice session including a small food share.

Another new group I went to T.A.G who also do talks once a month (they are run by the same people as HUGS but hugs is holistic and Tag is other spiritual and truth awareness topics) again this was the first one I’d felt drawn to and also Miguel wanted to go as it was by a shaman called Leo Rutherford, and it was very interesting.

My friend Lola came to visit and we had a good chat 🙂

for the spring equinox we had a fire ceremony at our friend Roberta’s again and it was really nice. We had about 10 people or so, and the energy was great. I have also noticed things coming true that I put into the fire since.

Finally I went to the brighton Vegan fayre for the first time in 5 years as I won tickets. The only problem was I work on Sundays so I could only go for the day and it was quite tiring as I spent 6 hours of the day travelling! It was packed but a good day overall. Bits I got: a ‘vegan’ necklace, cat earrings, a catnip toy for the cats, raw choc goji berries, vegan marshmallows, vegan wagon wheels, and vegan egg mayonaise! I also watched a talk about facing fears and living your dreams, and watched a cookery demo about quick and easy meals.

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