Moonlight Phoenix has risen

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Roxie

So it’s now been just over four months since our very dear cat Roxie went to the rainbow bridge. I’ve been wanting to blog about her for a long time since it happened, but it hit me hard and it’s taken me a long time to feel like I was at a space where I could write about her without feeling the pain. Don’t get me wrong, it still hurts, but the hurting is less as I’m now accepting that she is no longer part of our lives.

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I can’t remember the exact date we got Roxie, but I think I was about 20 years old when we got her (I’m nearly 33 now). She was a surprise. We were thinking of getting a cat but hadn’t really been looking properly just yet when my old school friend Leigh Anne one day turned up with this fluffy bundle at our doorstep and said she was ours. Roxie was a long haired tabby cat with an extremely fluffy tail that was like a squirrel’s. She didn’t have a name yet and Miguel let me choose. I was still doing my radio show ‘Pigtails and Army Boots’ at the time so I wanted to name her after a female musician, so I named her Roxie after the singer Roxy Saint.

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It was only a few months later that we got another cat, through a colleague of Miguel’s. Her cat had just had kittens and she was looking for new homes, knowing I would love a black cat, we went and picked one out. I remember her being a little shyer than the others, but we both decided she was the one. As I had named Roxie, Miguel could name this little bundle and she became Mitzi.

At first they didn’t get along at all! and we completely ignored the rule book and didn’t put them separate or anything. Eventually the scrapping died down and they became reluctant friends.

Roxie and Mitzi became part of the family.Β  If you wanted to be friends with us, you had to make friends with them too! Mitzi was (not so much now but more on that later) much her own cat, you couldn’t pick her up (apart from Miguel) and she rarely sat on laps, and was also very fussy about food. Roxie was the complete opposite. She loved attention, would jump on laps at any opportunity and loved her food!

I don’t know if it was because I named her or some coincidence but it always felt like somehow Roxie was more ‘my’ cat than Miguel’s. There was some bond there that I can’t explain.

Roxie and Mitzi were with us through all sorts of transitions, moving homes several times, difficult times, and good times including when we got married. I’ve never had children and this was the closest thing I’ve ever had.

A lot of people say that cats don’t care, are not very loving as so independent. My experience is different. Yes to some degree they are certainly independent and can take care of themselves, but our cats have always shown affection and love, and Roxie sure did.

It hit me so hard when she had to be put to sleep back in December, it really was like losing a family member. I’ve lost pets before, but this time it was different, Roxie was ‘mine’ not a family pet and we had watched her grow up, and unfortunately saw her get very ill right at the end. I’m so glad we could bury her in a lovely spot on Two Tree Island overlooking Hadleigh Castle. I’m also so grateful to our friend Sherry who helped us out so much that day.Β  I will always remember her for what a truly beautiful loving cat she was. Her chaos in the morning when food was imminent, her big fluffy tail and the many, many cuddles.

Mitzi is still with us of course and I think she misses Roxie somewhat still, she’s become much more of a lap cat now (although still not too fond of being picked up) and sometimes she cries in the night, (and is perfectly fine if we come to check). I’m not sure if it’s because she misses Roxie’s company (despite their love/hate relationship I think there was some level of love there) or whether she senses her spirit. She won’t sit in a certain spot where Roxie always used to sit, and sometimes we could swear we see her.

Wherever you are now Roxie, know that we will always remember and love you ❀

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Purity and Grace- November 2016

Sorry for such a delay in posting this, I was on holiday last week and this is the first chance I’ve had to properly post!

My key words for the year: Knowledge, health, magic and self care.

In November, I finally completed my Moon Mother training, so I am now able to do womb healings and blessings (more info further in post) so this certainly counts towards ‘Magic!’ and ‘Knowledge’. I’ve been going to yoga regularly again too so ‘health’ also applies.

My goals/intentions

To cook more- still not really

To go to Yoga classes- I went to two classes, as on week I had to work earlier and the other Monday left I was away!

walk more often- did a fair bit while away!

not to be affected by other people’s stories/no expectations- not so good at first part but not too bad at not having expectations

manifestation skills- finally got to the Moon Mother workshop πŸ™‚

new intentions set on Samhain

to step fully into my role as a healer- now have completed Moon Mother training, which I’m hoping will be a big thing for me

to have new experiences and visit new places- went to see some new things while in Portugal, did the Moon Mother training, went to a different animal sanctuary, went to the St Matthews meditation group for the first time.

to do more activism- took part in a volunteer day at an animal sanctuary

to do more of what makes me happy- went to a meditation group, did yoga classes, went to an animal sanctuary, Moon Mother training, went to Portugal, ran my circle

What I got up to

There is a monthly meditation group that takes place at a local church I’ve been meaning to go for ages and in November our friend Gareth was doing a crystal meditation with clear quartz, so I went along to that.

I went with my friend Rosie and her boyfriend, and another new activist friend I met on that day called Matthew to the Retreat Animal Rescue in Kent for a volunteer day. It was quite a cold, dirty and hard work day but also filled with beautiful animals, so it was very rewarding and special. Can’t wait to visit again one day!

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The Moon Mother training I did was a full weekend in London which I had booked in to do over a year ago and it finally arrived. The training is done by Miranda Gray, who does the Worldwide Womb Blessings. It was the first time she has taught in the UK for four years so it was very special to get to be there and become one of many Moon Mothers around the world. Moon Mothers can help to send the energy during the Worldwide Womb Blessings as well as conducting personal womb blessings and healings for others. I am the moment running through a few ‘practice’ sessions of the womb healing and then I will be offering to the public for a set price, and then I will be doing the same with the Womb Blessings. It was a very special and emotional weekend, and I really felt this is something I am meant to do. Have a look at the links I have provided (clickable on selected words in this paragraph) to find out more or you can contact me directly and I will tell you all you need to know. If anything, I would highly recommend taking part in the Worldwide Womb Blessing, it’s free and deepens your connection to the Divine Feminine.

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I went to the 2nd part of my ‘redoing’ of the Munay Ki initations, and I did feel the energy a lot more this time.

I ran my circle, which was a small one in November with only 2 women attending, and was on the theme of ‘Emotional Sensitivity and Empathy’ and went very well.

We went to Portugal on the 28th, so we were there the remaining days of November and the beginning of December. On the Monday we stayed with Miguel’s dad, so it was a fairly relaxed day as we had a very early start, and then from Tuesday onwards we went and stayed in an apartment we rented from Air BnB which was small but well equipped. On the Tuesday, Miguel met up with a baby sitter from his childhood and then we met his sister and got to see her new jewellery studio which was very nice and had a coffee. We were still quite tired so there wasn’t much time to do much else.

Wednesday we got up really early so went out and walked by the river and saw lots of stone statues which were pretty cool, it was raining but we visited the Tower of Belem, and briefly saw the outside of a chapel called the Monastery of Jeronimos but it wasn’t quite open when we got there and there was a lot of gypsies trying to sell umbrellas so we didn’t stay long! We then went to a famous cafe where they make the traditional portugese cake Pastel de Nata,(and have been for years and years) which obviously I couldn’t have but Miguel did. We then met Inge (Miguel’s sister) for lunch at an organic supermarket place with a restaurant attached. We went back to the apartment for a bit before going back out later and it was like the centre had come alive, it was busy, lots of street performers, and even though we don’t celebrate Xmas, we enjoyed the lights and even did some silly photos! Then we went to a restaurant called Jardim das cerejas which was an all vegan buffett, which was nice but could have been a little warmer.

Will tell you the last 2 days of Portugal in my next month round up! πŸ˜‰

Poems in November

A Beautiful Candle Dances Eternally Faithful gathering Hope in Joy Kisses Like Mountains Never Opening Pages Quite Right Sunshine Time Universal Very Whimsical yet Zealous

A cauldron of possibility, fresh like the stars, cinnamon and spice, dreams of something nice, Lunar landscapes, hiding within diamond shaped rooms, welcome to what’s in my head, or at least that’s what she said…

When the rain clears, I will be able to see you again, for now I cannot face the pain, of what that might bring, the fears, the tears, of what might happen when you are near, I don’t want to be hurt, I need the sunshine to come, to know it’s okay, and it will happen one day..

 

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Essex Pig Save

 

I heard about ‘Pig Save’ through a friend who posted about it on social media. Intrigued, I wanted to know more. On the event I found on Facebook, it immediately drew me in. The idea was to go to slaughterhouses, hopefully stop the vans for a few minutes, provide comfort to the pigs either by giving water or/and a little love, but also to document what the reality really looks like by capturing them on film and photos which can then be shared widely to try to spread awareness. I’ve been to protests many times but not any as direct as this one. Part of what made me want to take part was they described it as a ‘love based’ approach. So, instead of getting angry (although of course we are), instead just focusing on the pigs. Comfort and awareness are the main aims as I understand it.

I knew it would be quite upsetting to see, but I just knew that I had to do this. The movement originally started in Toronto in 2010. Anita Krajnc, the woman who started it was actually charged for ‘criminal mischief’ for giving water to pigs suffering during a summer heatwave and so the slogan ‘compassion is not a crime’ was created.

The movement started to grow and the first UK based Pig Save was in Manchester. Inspired by this, Essex Pig Save was born.

I didn’t make it to the first event but I was determined I would make it to the 2nd event despite it being a little further afield from me. I liked that on the event they encouraged people that would struggle to get there to post so that lifts could be organised. I posted to say I would need some help getting there and it didn’t take long for a kind soul to offer myself and a few others in a similar area a lift as long as we could get to Rayleigh train station.

On the day I had to get up very early as I needed to be at the station by 7.15am as the vigil started at 8am. (on a Monday morning). I got in the car with 3 other vegan ladies and we made our way to Cheale meats. It didn’t take long to spot the slaughterhouse, as just looking it as we went past it, it looked somewhat creepy and there was a horrible energy about it, and that was before we knew for sure! When we got there we weren’t sure where to park so we tried to park somewhere and a man came out shouting at us until we were told where we could go, just a little more up the road. As where it was, was pretty much near a main road. I had felt okay about it all, but as soon as I had got to Rayleigh I had begun feeling a bit queasy and when we got out of the car I felt really sick and nervous.

It eased my mind a bit when I saw there was quite a few of us (about 20 I think) and a few familiar faces. We stood with placards with an image of a dog and a pig saying ‘why eat one but love the other’. There were two police and the owner just outside of the slaughterhouse. As the events are public on Facebook, they know when we will come. At the first event there were a lot more police but since they saw the group was quite peaceful they obviously realised they didn’t need so many.

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Then it was just a case of waiting for the trucks to arrive. I can’t remember how long it took for the first one to arrive, maybe about an hour. Annoyingly the slats were up so we couldn’t see the pigs. Clearly they had been instructed to do this. There was another one I think after that, again with the slats up. It was pretty frustrating. Then a much smaller van with only a few young pigs rolled in which we could have got to easily. We tried to get it to stop but there was no chance. We had a sign saying ‘Please stop for two minutes. we just want to see the pigs’ which someone would hold so the driver could see and some of us would go round the front to try and get the vans to stop.

With the next one, again the slats were up but a few of us were tall enough to get footage from the upper slat just about this time. I couldn’t see anything and did attempt to film but didn’t get any decent footage. We had been hearing pigs screaming now and again in the distance from the slaughterhouse but with this van just before it went in, we heard a blood curling scream come from the van. It sounded like pure pain. It was horrible. One of my friends I came with started to cry so I gave her a little comfort.

The very last one I saw before we went, finally didn’t have the slats up so I could finally see although I still didn’t manage to catch footage but others did. We only managed to stop it for about 10 seconds as people were stood in front of the truck. It was so brief, but it was just long enough to feel and see the pain. In the moment it all happens so quick so all I could do was shout ‘I’m sorry’ to the pigs as they were driven in to the slaughterhouse.

Our group then had to leave so I didn’t see if there were any more. I didn’t manage to get any footage but lots of others did which show one van where the pigs had so little space they were standing on top of each other and they were dirty, and covered in cuts.

I can’t figure out how to post the videos here but you can see them and the photos on the Facebook Page- https://www.facebook.com/EssexPigSave/

I wrote a poem about my experience:

‘Moment’
Today I heard you scream
I saw the pain in your eyes
I smelt the fear
I tasted blood in the air
I felt your soul
if just for a moment…
it was heartbreaking
but I needed to see
I need to know
I wanted you to see a loving face
if just for a moment…
with no time to think it through
all I could say was “I’m sorry”
I couldn’t stop your fate
but I wanted you to know someone cares
if just for a moment..
maybe one day things will change
but for now all I can give you
is a moment….

 

I’ll be attending again as soon as I can. I don’t know who wouldn’t be affected even just hearing the screams. Please consider cutting meat from your diets. Ideally I’d love you all to go vegan but I know that won’t happen over night so at least take positive steps towards it, make yourself at least aware of what happens to begin with. Think about where your food comes from and how it’s been treated.

 

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Feeling so Bohemian Like You..June 2016

Time for my regular monthly update!

FOCUS AND INTENTIONS UPDATE

KNOWLEDGE (focus on nature)- 30 Days Wild! Look at my previous posts to see what I got up to with this.

HEALTH- been walking every day.

MAGIC- still haven’t done much focus on this

SELF CARE-nothing in addition to what I’ve been doing so far.

To heighten my spiritual work-I saw 2 clients in June and booked one for this month.

To get to Peru- still a long way off (for now)

To honour the seasons and moon-did things on new moon and full moon, but didn’t do anything for Summer Solstice other than change my altar.

To cook more- still nope

go to Yoga classes-went to two during June.

walk more often- been walking every day at least half hour

not to be affected by other people’s stories- not been too bad with this

have no expectations-getting better.

manifestation skills- still lots of meditation, affirmations, prayer etc. Maybe it’s working as I’m changing jobs soon. Staying with Holland and Barrett but moving to the Rayleigh store to be the supervisor πŸ™‚ Migs is getting more work in too.

WHAT I GOT UP TO

A friend of mine is doing a Holistic massage course and I got to be a case study for a full body massage!

I went to a ‘Southend Vegans’ meet up which was a picnic at Chalkwell park. Weather turned out lovely and tasty food!

went to the Southend ‘Essex feminist Collective’ meeting which was about the EU. I wasn’t sure about which way I wanted to vote so this really helped.

Helped a friend out with some cleaning of her flat, and got paid for it too! πŸ™‚

I went to the Southend Animal Aid meeting for first time in years!

Went to see my mum

Visited my grandad

went out for an early birthday lunch with Miguel as he was working away on the actual day. We went to the Railway and I had gnocchi which was delicious!

For my actual birthday I went with some friends to help out Tower Hill animal sanctuary. We painted a fence for them and got to see some of the animals too! I really connected with the horses there. It was a really nice day.

I went to Essex Pig Save. I’ll be writing a separate blog on this.

It was my women’s circle last night, I had 3 attendees and it was on Unicorn Magic. It was lovely πŸ™‚

so starting to be more busy now, now that summer is here!

So July…having a belated birthday get together tonight, got a sealife centre protest planned to go to, my circle and possibly a few other things.

 

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30 Days Wild-Final Week and What I learnt

Day 23

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On Day 23 I looked into becoming what’s known as a citizen scientist. Citizen scientists help provide vital research and there’s lots of nature based projects to be found. I signed up for ‘Birdtrack’ and ‘Nature’s calendar’ I haven’t quite got it all sussed out yet but one is for bird spotting and the other is to record signs of season change.

Day 24

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On day 24, I walked through Churchill gardens on my way to work and tried to ‘spot a mammal’ and I did! Just about managed to catch this cutie before he scurried away!

Day 25

Day 25 was my birthday! and I had a ‘wild’ day! I spent it with some friends helping out Tower Hill Stables/animal sanctuary. We painted a fence for them and also got to spend a little time with the animals too! I really connected with the horses that day. They are sooo beautiful! Throughout the day in travel time I also saw an egret, wild rabbits, a pheasant and some birds of prey!

Day 26

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I had a bit of a ‘chill’ day after such an active day 25. So I decided to see what wildlife I could spot from our back window. I saw seagulls, collared doves, pigeons, sparrows, blackbirds, a few flies, a black cat, crows and magpies! Considering we live near a main road, we do spot some interesting wildlife sometimes. We have seen jays in our car park before! and yesterday my partner saw a Sparrow hawk on our balcony!

Day 27

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on Day 27, I went to my first ‘Essex Pig Save’ vigil. I will probably be writing a blog all about this at some point, but it was outside a local slaughterhouse. The purpose of the vigil is to ‘bear witness’ to the pigs. We hope to stop some of the vans so that for just a moment, we can provide comfort to the pigs but also document it so people can see the reality behind their meat. It was a sad day but important to do and I’ll be doing it again.

Day 28

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Day 28 my random act of wildness was to watch the daisies in the garden to see how they change through the day. The top photo was at 11am and the second was at 7pm.

Day 29

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On day 29 I did some cloud watching. I thought it might be interesting to try to identify the type of cloud. I think this was ‘alto-cumulus’ but not sure!

Day 30

As today was the last day I thought I’d try to squeeze in as many ‘wild’ places as possible! I went to Prittle brook, Growing Together Westcliff Garden, Priory Park and Churchill Gardens. I spotted lots of wild life as you can see!

So before I started 30 days wild I did feel very connected to nature anyway but afterwards I feel even more connected! I started to learn more about the wildlife I see, including more names of things and I did some things I wouldn’t have thought to do before like looking underneath a log and watching where a bumblebee goes! I made even more of a point of going for walks and admiring what’s around me. It has reawakened my passion for activism again too!

This was a wonderful challenge that I’d tell everyone to do. It really helps you to see what magic there is around you and almost everything I did was free!

Now I pledge to Stay Wild and be wild 365 days a year πŸ˜€

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30 Days Wild Week 3

Day 17

On day 17, I tried to identify bird song. I could hear plenty of it but couldn’t see what birds were making it! The only ones I did identify were the easy ones that I could see which were crows and ducks! I put a video on Instagram and a friend managed to identify a blue tit, black bird, collared dove and sparrows.

Day 18

For day 18, I went to the Southend Animal Aid meeting for the first time in years so it was a day of ‘wild’ planning. I’m going to help at an animal sanctuary this weekend and next week going to a vigil for slaughterhouse pigs.

Day 19

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On day 19, I watched a bumblebee. I watched as it flew flower to flower pollinating. I found interesting that it was ignoring all the daisies, but going to all the white clover instead. (another flower I now know the name of- yay)!

Day 20

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Day 20 was a special day as it was the Summer Solstice AND the full moon! So I did some moon watching. Too difficult to get a good photo of though.

Day 21

DSC_0002Yesterday I re-did my altar as I always do for the seasons but this time I turned into a full ‘nature table’ with lots of treasures I have found in the wild- feathers, shells, conkers etc. And one of my nan’s paintings as the backdrop.

Day 22

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Today I was given some seed bombs, so I’ve put one on our balcony so we can see it grow, and I will plant the other along the brook.

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30 Days Wild Week 2 (and a bit)

Week two of 30 days wild is over, here’s the ‘Random Acts of Wildness’ I’ve been up to since my last post. In case you missed it, you can find it here

Day 10

On Day 10, I took a slightly different route to work, by going through my favourite park Churchill gardens on the way πŸ™‚

Day 11

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On day 11, I spent time sitting outside on my balcony reading with the cats for company πŸ™‚

Day 12

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tried to identify a wild flower. I discovered these pretty white flowers are called Cow Parsley. We have lots of it along the brook.

Day 13

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I thought I had gone a day without doing anything ‘wild’! Then I realised I signed this petition to help get the Peacocks at Chalkwell park freed. Please sign it too by going here

Day 14

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On Day 14 I attempted to watch the sunset from the balcony. Couldn’t quite see it in full as the houses were in the way, but look at the pretty clouds!

Day 15

Day off yesterday so another walk in Churchill Gardens. This time for my ‘random act of wildness’ I lifted up a fallen tree trunk to see the life underneath and there was a lot! Didn’t manage to get a decent photo of the insects but the pictures in the middle are what it looked like underneath, look how amazing the patterns are, isn’t nature wonderful??

We also had a moth come visit us. She was on our compost bin. We moved her to the plants on our balcony and she stayed all day. She was only gone this morning. A visit from the ancestors…?

Day 16

and that brings us up to date to today…

Today I downloaded the Wildlife Trust’s ‘Nature Finder’ App and I love it already. I managed to identify two of these wild flowers using it. The first one is ‘Mallow’ and the second one is ‘ragwort’

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30 Days Wild- Week 1 (and a bit)

Many of my regular readers will know, I am a bit of a project/challenge addict! I nearly always have something on the go, this year it has been all about Instagram photo challenges. I kept thinking “I won’t do one this month” and I’d keep finding one that sounded fun or interesting! Then for this month June, I found something which could still involve taking photos every day (and I have), but also had a bit more behind it. A friend of mine posted on Twitter about a project started by The Wildlife Trusts called “30 Days Wild”

The idea behind it is simple, to help us form a stronger connection to nature. Every day in June you do something ‘wild’, something that involves nature or wildlife in some way, and it can be big or small, and take 5 minutes or a whole day. When you signed up they sent you a kit with ideas of things you could do each day, that range from ‘research facts about your favourite animal’ to ‘see how many species you can spot in an hour’ and more. As a nature lover, this project sounded awesome and fun. I don’t really need more connection to nature, but one of my goals this year was to learn more about nature, as I don’t know many names of trees, flowers, animals etc that I’m always admiring and this seemed like a perfect way of incorporating that! So I’ve been posting a photo about the project every day on Instagram and I thought it would be nice to do a weekly blog on what I’ve been doing, so here’s the first one!

Day One

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On Day One, I was working for most of the day so I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I looked at my email with the 30 days wild ‘wild cards’ but none of them really inspired me. I then saw this also had an app, with at least 100 ideas on there, so I downloaded that to my phone and had a look for something that could fit in with my day. I picked ‘Watch an insect, see how they move’, thinking on my walk to work I was likely to see something. It was dry when I left so I though I’d be alright, but after walking for 5 minutes, it started to rain, just lightly at first and then full on chucking it down! I had already got my momentum so I thought I might as well just carry on, what a way to start my 30 days wild! I don’t often walk in the rain. I still looked for insects but I didn’t see any. However I did see many, many snails! Later on I decided to look up about snails and learnt that they are not insects but are molluscs, so more closely related to shellfish. I found various reasons cited for why they always come out after rain so I’m not sure which is true, things like to escape from drowning or that they can breathe easier…answers on a postcard please!

Day Two

Day two was a bit of a strange one. I had a day off, and the weather was dryer. So I decided to ‘explore a local park’. I thought I would go to a different one than my usual spots, so I went to Chalkwell park, which although is okay, I don’t enjoy it as much as Priory park or Churchill gardens. On this day I didn’t really enjoy it. Sadly, there are four peacocks in an enclosure in the park, which straight away made me feel sad. They have hardly any space in there and aren’t released into the open at all, never mind the fact they are wild animals not destined to live in a space like this. I could feel the depression from them.

I then walked around the park a bit and there are some beautiful old trees there. Sadly every one I saw had been graffitied on and there was an awful amount of litter around the park, even in the more ‘wild’ spots of the park. I left feeling sad but feeling determined to do something more to make this park a nicer place to visit and see what I could do to help those peacocks.

Day Three

Day three I went for ‘find mini wildness’ so while out and about to look for plants coming through on pavements and such like. I found lots!Β  It’s nice to see nature really is everywhere πŸ™‚

Day Four

On day four I went to the Southend Vegans meet up in Chalkwell park for a picnic! It had been a bit touch and go whether it would go ahead as it had been predicted to rain all the week and still looked dodgy in the morning but it turned out to be perfect in the end. I had some lovely vegan food including Rocky Road! and as well as seeing some of my lovely friends I also met some cool new people. I only took a silly selfie and it was so silly I didn’t keep it on my phone so no photo for Day 4 on here!Β  I was too preoccupied to take photos!

Day Five

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This photo wasn’t taken on this day but about a week before. On this day I was working all day so I researched facts about one of my favourite animals- the Squirrel! I learnt a few new things- 1. there are over 265 species of squirrel 2. they sometimes put on bogus food burying displays to fool potential thieves 3. They can smell food under a foot of snow 4. their front teeth never stop growing.

Day Six

Oops another one where I didn’t keep the photo. For day 6, I watched the Springwatch live wildlife cameras for a little while. At first there were lots of sleeping birds but with a little patience there was cute activity. My favourites were the bluetits. Every time the mum would come to feed them they would chirp away in this cute little chorus. A few days later I saw on the program that they were actually Great Tit chicks that a Bluetit was taking caring of! (I didn’t quite catch how that happened)

Day Seven

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For day seven I did a little bit of bird watching on my way to work. I saw blackbirds, seagulls, pigeons, sparrows, wood pigeons and crows including this one seen above. I really enjoying watching the birds as anyone that knows me will attest to! πŸ™‚

It’s taken me a while to write this blog so it’s now a little longer than a week !

Day Eight

A day off and a really lovely sunny day, a perfect day to go to Priory park and see how many animals I could spot! Just some of the things I saw (there were some I don’t know names of): Blackbirds, squirrel, wood pigeons, brown and blue butterflies, crows, mallard ducks, blackhead seagulls, coot, flies, midges, small black fish, magpie, bumblebee, other bees, blue dragonflies, ladybird, big fish (it was underwater so couldn’t make it out) and a rat. It was so nice to see a lot of people enjoying the outdoors! There were lots of people with their young children and people taking photos etc. I took some lettuce to feed the ducks but they weren’t at all interested! Too used to being fed bread which is bad for them I guess 😦 Really lovely hour of magical nature! (also forgot to mention on my way to the park I saw a goldfinch! I had never seen one before, shame I didn’t manage to get a photo, it was so pretty)

Day Nine (today)

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Another visit to Priory Park, but a shorter one. Took the remaining lettuce and managed to get a few of the ducks and a coot to eat some at last!! My activity for the day was to take a blue photo, so I took the above of some flowers I saw.

Looking forward to what other adventures this will lead to!

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Spirit Will Always Follow (Holland 2016)

Wherever you are
Spirit will always follow
What ever you do
Spirit will always follow
As you walk
Spirit will walk with you
If you run
Spirit will run alongside you
If you fall
Spirit will pick you up
If you cry
Spirit will wipe your tears
When you smile
Spirit will add that extra sparkle
when you laugh
Spirit will laugh with you
When you pray
whether it’s in a church or a forest
Spirit will listen
Spirit will guide
Spirit will show you the way
You just have to open your heart and allow her in
It’s not always easy
but it’s always possible
if you trust
it’ll all be all right in the end
a rainbow will appear
from the dark clouds
spirit will take care of you
if you also take care of yourself
Spirit will always follow
wherever you are
whatever you do
Spirit will always follow.

This poem is inspired by our recent trip to Holland. Let me explain why..

When you live a spiritual life, your eyes are always open to signs and divinity in everyday life. Before I went away I felt I couldn’t bring any of my spiritual items such as my spiritual journal, oracle cards etc, even though I usually do try to keep up my spiritual routine to some extent. This time I thought perhaps I felt like this because I needed to take a break. It became clear in less than 24 hours after landing that this wouldn’t be the case.

The first night we stayed with my in laws, near Assen, a more country side area of the country. They are highly spiritual people so there was always going to be some element of it while we stayed with them. There was a lot very deep talking and clearing, which was mostly connected with my husband. But also they gave us both some very beautiful gifts, which were spiritually minded items so we ended up having spiritual ‘stuff’ anyway! It was on this day that I suddenly made the connection that I had been getting a lot of signs about unicorns, which had been topped off when they gave me a book about unicorns. I had an unicorn healing attunement quite some time ago now, and although I worked with it a little after that, I didn’t continue to do any more. Before we went away there had been connections with unicorns coming up, and it just kept coming, and it still is! On the day I got the book I read a small bit of the book that talked about unicorn signs, and how it’s a sign for you to work with them, so I have been working quite intensely with them since we got back. We also had a beautiful moment there when we went for a walk to the nearby pond and were delighted with seeing a coot and her babies!Β  What a divine moment!

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On day two, it was mostly travelling to The Hague where we were staying for the rest of our break and relaxing. We saw another beautiful area- the Palace Gardens.

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Day 3 was the best day! Miguel showed me where he used to live and then we went to Zuiderpark which was absolutely huge and beautiful. But before we even saw much of it there is a city farm there which Miguel used to go to as a child and I fell in love. It wasn’t a regular farm, no meat or dairy produced, but a free educational farm where children can go to learn about nature, taking care of animals and having respect for living beings. You could buy a cup of food to feed the animals so we had lots of fun feeding them, especially the cheeky goats who would practically jump over the gate! We then went into the main enclosure, where I cuddled a beautiful gentle one eyed cow and stroked lots of lambs, sheep, pigs and of course goats! I honestly feel so happy being around animals I had trouble being pulled away and I had tears in my eyes feeling emotional!

Afterwards we had a look at some more of the park, and Miguel showed me a special tree where his granddad used to tell him gnomes lived.

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We went back to the area near the hotel to have lunch and next door to our hotel was the church where Miguel’s parents got married, so we decided to go inside. I wasn’t sure how I would feel, as a pagan, I can feel a bit uncomfortable but actually when we walked in, it was beautiful and there people inside praying and I only felt calm. We both sat down and made a prayer ourselves. Then we saw a section where you could light a candle offering in front of a choice of saints/important Christian figures. Even though we both didn’t know anything about him, we both felt compelled to make an offering to St.Anthony. Before we left we cleansed our hands with holy water. When we left we looked up St.Anthony who turns out to have a strong connection with Portugal (which is important to Miguel as he is half Portuguese) but also is connected with animals and the vulnerable, which I felt was relevant to me and connected a lot to the prayer I had made!

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We also went into a shop with all Navajo and Hopi tribe items and then in the afternoon decided to go to the coast. The weather had been a mix of rain and sun, it was fine when we left but sadly turned when we got there, it was so windy and wet we didn’t stay as long as we had hoped. I wanted to go near the water and the wind was so bad, it was like we were getting blown away! But I got near a puddle, put my hand in it and felt energy run all through me.

So on that day we were in touch with all the elements- Earth- the park and trees there, fire- candles in church, water- the sea, air- the massive wind at the coast and Spirit- praying in a church.

Sunday was our last day, we went to see some of Miguel’s friends in Haarlem, then had a stop in Amsterdam which was mostly disappointing as was so busy and not much to look at, but we visited the Kuan Yin shrine again, which was still wonderful. We both made prayers there as well, made offerings to Kuan Yin and read a long prayer they had printed to use as well.

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Although short, was my favourite trip to Holland yet. No plans to be spiritual particularly, but Spirit will always follow…

 

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You make me dizzy, running circles in my head….March 2016

..and yet another month has passed! For the third month I was still doing the cover in Rayleigh, so it was STILL all about work and not much else. I got the 2nd rotten cold of the year but this time it was worse, as it lasted two weeks! During which time I had to hold a guided meditation at a large event, and had to act as the manager of the Rayleigh store for a whole week while the supervisor was on holiday! It’s ended better though as the overtime finished last week and I’ve had a week off so had a chance to rest and start getting my life back again! I am looking forward to April being a much better month, with better health and more fun once again!

FOCUS AND INTENTIONS UPDATE

KNOWLEDGE (learn about nature especially) I’ve been watching more nature programs, and I’ve now also got a book about birds that will come in useful too πŸ™‚

HEALTH- not been great overall this month, as I had a really nasty cold as well as still being exhausted from all the extra work! On the plus side I walked to work and back almost every day. I went to my dentist appointment today and had good and bad news. The bad news is my gums are really bad, they are showing signs of advanced gum disease 😦 and the dentist said she could only recommend seeing the hygienist, and if I did it now it might be early enough to reverse it. However, I don’t have the means at the moment as well as my phobia of dentists meaning an hour of someone poking around my teeth sounds like a nightmare! so I’m going to look into alternative ways of helping them to heal and got a few ideas already. The good news was no new cavities and my teeth didn’t even need to be cleaned! Hooray!

MAGIC- didn’t really do much with this one again.

SELF CARE- as mentioned I finally went to my dentist check up which was months overdue. I’ve been more vigilant in flossing too. I’ve took more time out to relax when I needed to. My women’s circle was all about self care this month. On one day of my week off I took a “do nothing” day where the most I did was walk to the local park for a short walk, the rest of the day I took really easy, which for those who know me will know is a hard task for me!!

To heighten my spiritual work- did a guided meditation at a conference.

To get to Peru- nothing towards this yet

To honour the moon and seasons more fully- we had the Spring Equinox, I still didn’t manage to dedicate my whole day to it, but I still marked it and had more time than I gave myself on Imbolc. For the new and full moons, I did readings for each, and put my crystals out to charge on the full moon.

To cook more- only a few times again but now work is settling down a bit again I might feel more motivated to give it a go!

go to Yoga classes-I only got to go to one this month 😦 because of overtime again and then this week it was a bank holiday so wasn’t on! boo!

walk more often- I’ve walked pretty much every day again!

not to be affected by other people’s stories- still to work on.

have no expectations- still mostly doing this but still some occasions where I still do.

manifestation skills- did a ‘tarot manifesting’ challenge on Instagram, where you pick a card each day to explore questions about manifesting in your life. I’ve also taken another look at the way we organise our money, which has meant things have been a bit strict, but hopefully in the long run things will get easier!

Finally what did I actually get up to…?

We had an ‘Evening with Spirit’ night at our flat, we had a friend who is a medium come along and ‘perform’ (can’t think of the right word sorry)!, and our friend Gareth did tarot readings and Miguel did mini shamanic healing treatments.

My lovely manager Nathan is no longer my lovely manager 😦 he’s left now, so we organised a little leaving do, a get together at Nando’s. It was a lovely evening.

I went to the EDEN conference, which this year I did a guided meditation workshop at! I was really full of cold at the time and not feeling great and despite a downer in the morning I managed to pull it off! It was a nice day.

I spent a week running the Rayleigh store which again somehow I managed to pull off despite feeling so ill and not knowing how to do lots of things! I found it quite exhausting though.

I had my women’s circle that was smaller this time, there were 4 of us this month, but it was perfect for our introspective look at self care. We spent time quietly looking at questions and reflecting on our self care, then we made a self care diagram to look at when we feel low, and we did a meditation on acceptance.

Then we’re onto this past week which has been a week off at last! Sunday was my ‘do nothing’ day and I spent a lovely day with Miguel. Monday I met up with my friend Maria and helped her pick a dress to wear at a wedding. Tuesday Migs and I went into Leigh. Yesterday I met up with my friend Lola and had a good chat, and gave her some healing too. Today went to the dentist. I also had time to sort out my altar space and sort out my wardrobe, the two things I’ve been meaning to do for ages!

I haven’t done a separate poem post this month as I only wrote one poem really and here it is..

You and me together
Watching a sunset
that’s how we met
A part of our lives closing
A curtain finally being drawn
For each of us, it was a time to be reborn
who would have known
just how much our lives would change
that we would no longer need to feel that pain
that it would be love we would gain
the perfect partnership
like ying and yang, we fit together
in some ways opposite
and yes sometimes we fight
but somehow it works
Now we no longer see the colours fade
but instead they rise and
create a new palette of possibility…

 

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