Moonlight Phoenix has risen

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Self Love

Self love is a term we often hear bandied about these days, yes we need to love ourselves more, but how exactly do we give ourselves self love, and what is it? Is it through affirmations, yoga, meditation? Or is it through getting massages, face masks, writing positive messages on the mirror to read in the morning before we walk out the door?

Self love can be many things and that is why maybe it is the hardest thing that’s possible to do, even when you read every magazine article and like every self love quote meme going around Facebook and Instagram, and yet still we are not loving ourselves fully.

Most of us live in a cloud of judgement, this judgement is actually created by ourselves. From a young age we take in every belief from everything around us, from the media, teachers/school, family, friends, everything. If we get told we’re useless enough times we’ll soon believe it. Then this manifests into high standards we have created for ourselves to make ourselves “good enough”. The truth is we are enough.

This is why self love is possibly the hardest hurdle for most of us on our healing journey. As it means we have to let go of every negative thing we have ever been told about ourselves, including our own self talk which is probably the worst of them all. It means fully accepting yourself as you are. It means honouring your own choices without anything else taking you away from your personal truth. It means setting boundaries and keeping them.

Self love is almost a contradiction which is why it can’t necessarily be resolved with a few positive affirmations or a once a month pamper session.  As it also means knowing that you will sometimes fall down, that sometimes you will struggle. But also being in a place of acceptance that you are able to feel the emotions and acknowledge them, but not let them rule you.

It means eating healthily and in the right way for your body, but also not denying yourself when you want chocolate/caffeine/sugar! It means moving your body, but also sometimes just laying about doing nothing.  It means getting out there, but also going within. It’s working towards your goals, but also taking downtime.

It’s knowing that no one and nothing is perfect. Loving yourself is loving all of you and that’s a hard thing to do. But we can do it! ❤

 

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April 2018

Somehow already a week of May has been and gone in the blink of an eye and I haven’t wrote my blog about April yet! so here is my monthly tracker of how I did with my goals and intentions for the year during April.

My words for the year are: Love, Energy and Prosperity. done things towards all of those but nothing new to add here really or anything that stands out that happened.

specific intentions:

take my healing work to the next level- I went along to another South Part 1 medicine wheel training, I’ve already done part 1 so I came to shadow the teaching, I did get to gift the Harmony Rite of the Munay Ki to some of the students as well. I also had a mad experience with a past life journey I did where I felt all the emotions of letting it go..it was really intense and a little scary!

to be more empowered in more areas of my life- not sure anything specific

to be more visible- attended quite a few things

create new beginnings- paid some more of debts that need to be cleared before we can move.

to let go and allow flow more- I’m getting better at it!

and what I got up during April:

went to the south training I mentioned and had a really powerful weekend realising how much I’ve changed and developed over the last 6 months, plus I got to walk the labyrinth for the third time! (and every time is different)

had a visit from my friend Rae which was nice.

went to Miguel’s current shamanic group as they did an activity we didn’t do when I did the course which was a past life journey, it was very strong and epic.

went to a moot where Gareth was doing a talk about shamanism. I won a whole tub of crystals on the raffle so I was really happy, can’t believe someone had been that generous.

went to Red Tent Rayleigh which was run by Tania and Juliette this month and we did a coaching style exercise which was really powerful and felt great afterwards. I look forward to this every month now.

I started a new women’s circle in Southend again while I am still here and happy to say it filled up, I limited to 4 spaces but ended up having 5 people. we are going to be meeting on full moons. For the first one we took part in the Worldwide womb blessing and it was beautiful!

 

 

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March 2018

Another Month gone, so how did I get on with my focus and intentions for the year during March?

Love/Energy/Prosperity- carried on with the energy things I started doing (vitamins, more water etc), prosperity I actually managed to raise enough to do my Advanced Moon Mother training this year through my crowdfunding page but also by my own saving, so not only have I paid a deposit, I’ve also booked a room!

healing work to the next level- see above! So in June I’m going to Glastonbury to do Level 2 of my Moon Mother training! I’m really excited, as not only am I doing the next part of my training, I’ve never been to Glastonbury and I’ve also wanted to go, (I’m going a day early and leaving a day late so hopefully I get a chance to see some of it)! and I’m also going away for the first time on my own so scary and exciting.

to be more empowered in more areas of my life- just goes back to the moon mother thing really for March as I did set an intent and managed to do it!

to be more visible- did a few social things

to create new beginnings- nothing specific yet

to let go and allow flow more- every week it’s getting easier..

what I actually got up to in March:

went to my monthly witchy circle, my favourite yet, as not only did we celebrate spring equinox, we took part in a ceremony called a blessingway for one of the sisters who is pregnant, so a blessing for her basically. We could all paint symbols on her belly, and each got a candle to light when she goes into labour, and a bracelet that we cut when the baby is born to represent the umbllicol cord being cut, and we all wrote positive messages for her, and some of her friends read poems, it was really beautiful and very special.

I held a small circle for women’s day (not on the exact day but that week) with just two women but it was really powerful with some very deep sharing 🙂

did a womb blessing for someone

went to Red Tent Rayleigh, had a great evening doing partner yoga and yoga nidra.

There was a special event at AHO studio where we do a lot of our London work, a well known shaman came to do a blessing on the studio and on London and it was all filmed, and we took part.  you can watch it here- https://www.facebook.com/daren.ellis.1969/videos/10156253147798767/?fref=mentions

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Feb 2018

how I got on with my focus and intentions

Love/Energy/Prosperity- energy was probably the main focus of those in February, I made sure to take vitamins everyday, started cutting down on snacks, and slowly started to increase my water intake. There was some aspects of the month that related to the other words but not much.

healing work to the next level- I started a crowdfunding page to help me raise enough funds to do the Advanced Moon Mother training this year, so far I’ve had £40 in donations which is more than I expected and I’ve managed to save £30, so that’s £70 towards the £400 in total so far.

to be more empowered in more areas of my life- not sure if anything specific

to be more visible- did do some social things

to create new beginnings- nothing yet

to let go and allow flow more- yep still gradually allowing more flow…

what I actually got up to-

I had a week off, during that week I did a healing swap with my friend Roberta, and just did a few bits at home.

I met up with my friend Fiona who I hadn’t seen for ages and we had coffee and cake at a local cafe.

I went to red tent rayleigh and it was movement meditation, which was more energetic than I was expecting…

I suffered with toothache unfortunately quite a bit so had to make an appointment with the dentist and it turns out I need a wisdom tooth taken out but I’m being refered to the hospital so I can be sedated.

Now we’re in March and currently snowed in and I have another week off, I hope this snow stops soon, I’m not a fan!

 

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The Circle

Once upon a time there was a girl called Rosa. Rosa was very sad. Rosa was sad because she felt lonely. She felt like no one loved her because although she did have some friends she hardly saw them and this made her feel like she wasn’t very important to them or to anyone really.

Rosa knew a very wise man who lived in the jungle. She decided she would go visit him for help because she didn’t want to feel sad anymore. To get to the jungle, she needed to go further down the river, so she left her village and went to the river where she found her trusty canoe. She rode as fast as she could, because she couldn’t bear these feelings anymore.

Because the wise man was wise, he always knew exactly when Rosa would visit him, so when she arrived in the jungle, he was there waiting for her. “Hello Rosa” he said and offered his hands to help her out of the canoe.

“There is pain in your heart, what caused this?” he asked, looking concerned. Rosa began to cry. The wise man let her finish crying, because he knew crying was very important as it helped the emotion to be released. After a few minutes Rosa spoke of her pain of feeling alone and not important. The wise man put a blanket around her and led her into the jungle where he walked her to a clearing, where there was a big fire burning bright.

The wise man sat Rosa next to the fire. Pointing at the fire he said, ” This is Taita Wari, the Great Transformer, he will help you.” then he walked away leaving Rosa on her own in front of the fire. Rosa didn’t know what she was supposed to do but she trusted the wise man so she sat and just stared into the flames of the fire.

The longer she stared, the more hypnotised she felt. From out of nowhere, she found herself getting up and dancing around the fire. She kept dancing, and colours exploded around her, so she could no longer see the fire or even herself, just the bright colours of orange, red and yellow.

Then the colours changed and she was no longer dancing around a fire, but she was now dancing around a huge ancient oak tree, with dewy grass under her feet and she was no longer alone. Dancing with her, were animals of all shapes and sizes, dancing in a circle around the tree. Even though some of the animals were predators and some were prey, they were still dancing around the tree happily with no fear or threat of violence.

Soon the tree faded away again and Rosa was dancing around the fire once again, but now she was dancing around the fire with people from her life- some friends, some family members, some work colleagues, and some acquaintances.  She felt really happy as she continued to dance.

The dance began to slow and the people began to fade away, and in their place were large rocks. The dance stopped and Rosa felt a sense of peace, as she stood in this circle of stones.

The wise man came back smiling.  “Now you understand Rosa, everything and everyone is connected. Every person, every plant, every animal, every stone, and not one is more important than the other. We are all part of the web of life and everyone is equal. Even if we sometimes feel alone, we are never truly alone. All you need to do is be yourself and remember you are part of everything. Nothing else matters.”

 

For All My Relations ❤

 

 

 

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How November 2017 was…

focus for the year: Divine Feminine, Balance and Happiness

Divine Feminine- as usual I did a lot towards this, as well as all my daily work, I went to quite a few women’s groups, I won a Skype Womb Ceremony (well basically we talked about red tents, periods and yonis for an hour lol) and did one womb healing.

Felt I was a bit more balanced as I started to go out a bit more than I have been for most of the year! and because of this I was also doing more things that made me happy 🙂

Intentions

Cook more- did cook a few times

Make more time for creativity- did write a blog, and attempted crafting at one of the circles I went to…

Be better at birthdays- no

Finish the lists- no not really

Live to my cycle and educate others- yep

and my new intentions that I created on Witches New Year..

to be empowered in all areas of my life- in a way yes as I made myself go out more even when I thought we couldn’t really afford it..but also I started to get the influx of bookings for healings! I’ve already had two clients in December and I’ve still got another 3 booked in!

to be more visible- Yep! I went to three events.

to create new beginnings- well I’m slowly tying loose ends to make it easier when the time is right to be able to move…

to learn to let go more and allow FLOW into my life- it’s a slow process as I do love my lists and being organised, but I have been slowly letting go week by week of different lists and different things that stop me from being in the moment. It’s just finding the balance of being in the moment but also making sure things do get done!!

What I got up to during November- I went to the Rayleigh Red Tent, I went a few years ago but hadn’t taken the time for myself to go again even though the venue is literally across the road from where I work! It was quite good, we had a share and then got to try Chakra Dance, which I never done before but it was really good, and we had blindfolds on so it was even more liberating!

I went to the Sisters of the earth Goddess circle I’ve been attending the last few months. We did a guided meditation to the Goddess Freya and made crone dolls. I wasn’t very good so mine is still sitting here unmade 😦

It was transgender day of remembrance on the 20th so I called on others to join and light a candle and send a wave of love at 8pm on that day.

I met up with my friend Lauren and we went to leigh, where I got some crystals and we went had vegan cake at a bookshop that has a coffee shop inside with a vegan menu!

I had a womb healing client and I finished someone else on their Munay Ki Path.

I went to an anti fur protest in Leigh

I went to an evening event which was an hour of gentle yoga and a sound bath, very relaxing!

December so far seems to be all about the healings! (and I did actually pick the card ‘The singer of healing’ as my card for this month on my year reading) I don’t do Xmas but will be going to the work xmas meal which is at ASK this year (I’m looking forward to it as another venue that has a vegan menu now) and we will be celebrating the Winter Solstice. I’m also hoping to go to Red tent Rayleigh again and go out for new year.

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The Importance of Ceremony for Transitions

The other day, shortly after completing giving someone the final Munay Ki rites, I was browsing on the internet and I came across a page about Red Tent End of Life Doulas. I’d never heard of this, so with intrigue I watched a few of their videos. They are people that help people to deal with their end of life upcoming transition of death. In the videos, they speak a lot about how people are scared of death and we tend to avoid it as much as possible and we don’t really honour it.

This got me thinking about the transitions we have in life and how we mark them. When you think about it, there’s not that many that most people will honour with a ceremony or celebration. The ones we have are: marriage, births, birthdays, christenings, graduation….death is not generally honoured until it’s gone, with a funeral, which usually will be quite sad, and a time of grief not celebration….We don’t honour when a girl has her first period, when a woman reaches menopause, when a boy comes of age (in most belief systems), the spiritual side of death…some very important life rites that every single person has. Of course there are some exceptions to the rule but they are not in the mainstream or only in certain religions. We spend so much time when we know someone is going to die, to prepare ourselves to lose this person in our lives but not always so much to help prepare them for this final transition in their lives.

I really feel that we should honour these life transitions more. We might all have different ways of honouring, some more complex than others, but why are natural things that happen to everyone made taboo? The conversation is opening up more about menstruation, but has a long way to go, as does menopause. We spend so much time trying to push it all away, not saying no one should use methods of relief for painful symptoms, but we also need to see the amazing side of what our bodies can do. Maybe if we honour our bodies more, our bodies will be kinder to us? If we had a special celebration say when you got your first period, don’t you think you would have a bit of a different view than what you do now?

I hope this ramble of the thoughts in my head make some sort of sense! It’s something I definitely would like to help people with, I’d love to do menarche ceremonies and more, what an honour that would be to create something so special for someone 🙂

Let’s honour the life cycles more and celebrate them, not just focus on the shadow side of them….

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Look back at October 17 and now Witches New Year!

My usual end of the year combined post!

First to look back at how the Witchy month of October has been for me.

Focus for the year: Divine Feminine/Balance/Happiness- carried on with all the Divine Feminine work I’ve been doing and did a few social things that made me happy 🙂

Goals/Intentions:

cook more- cooking once a week at moment, usually a chilli but also did a casserole recently too

to have new experiences/visit new places- did a Goddess Yoga Kundalini class and also tried Goddess Qi Gong, did my first Munay Ki Part 3 and it was beautiful

Step fully into my role as a healer- Munay Ki giving and one Womb healing (as part of an exchange)

activism- none 😦

better at birthdays- none

finish my lists- a little

update on giving up the pill- last cycle was 31 days so a lot better than the previous one! Think I am starting to recognise when I’m ovulating but still learning as it really helps to know how your body works!

make more time for creativity- not lots, but I did write a blog yesterday which was flowing through me…

to live to my cycle and educate others- just the usual stuff really.

what else I got up to-Went to the Goddess circle and made a Samhain Wreath! (with lots of help),Red Tent, this time held by Sarah, only 1 person turned up again 😦  went to a local MBS fair, I didn’t buy anything but I heard part of a talk about veganism, took part in a kirtan and tried Goddess Qi Gong invented by my friend Stella. Went to see my friend Sherry and her animals..and went to a Vegan and Yoga festival on the Sunday just gone, did Goddess Kundalini Yoga, got a pink salt tealight holder and some vegan baked goods. Saw quite a few friends I hadn’t seen for ages at both events.

So as regular readers will know, I am pagan so today is extra special to me as it is Witches New Year! The last year has been good but challenging. I’ve been really working with shamanic energy with the courses I’ve been attending which has been amazing and powerful, but I’ve also been a lot less social and not seen as many of my “regular” friends. There has been a lot of struggle, and more death, as we lost both our cats over the past year, I also lost two uncles. I did a lot of retreat work! I did do a lot of healing work for others to start with but that has dwindled again but the focus has mostly been on myself. I became a Moon Mother and I also started on the Shamanic Medicine Wheel.

So my new intentions for this new Wheel of the Year (more will come in January as they always do, but for now I will start with these)

  1. To be empowered in all areas of my life
  2. To be more visible (start attending more events, seeing people, but also doing the things I want to do, being louder and being SEEN)
  3. To create new beginnings (a new home and a new job are calling so that’s where I need to start)
  4. To learn to let go more and allow more flow into my life

This month so far, what it looks like right now is: attend Red Tent Rayleigh, go to Goddess circle, go to a social of the South students, a week running the shop, and possibly more events but let’s see where FLOW takes me 😉

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Honouring the Enchantress at Samhain

When it comes to Divine Feminine/Goddess energy, we often talk about the triple Goddess- Maiden, Mother and Crone. But in reality there are four aspects to the Divine Feminine. The aspect that often gets ignored and left out, is the third element (Crone being the fourth) is that of the Enchantress or Wild Woman.

Why is she left out?

Society is scared of her.

The Enchantress is powerful and full of great wisdom. She is the creatrix.

So why are we scared of her? She shows us our shadow. She shows us our triggers and makes us aware of what we need to release. This can be a scary process. We don’t always want to acknowledge our wounds.

The Goddess aspects also occur in a woman’s menstrual cycle. Unsurprisingly, the Enchantress represents the pre menstrual time. A very difficult time for many women as ‘negative’ emotions come up like anger, frustration or even sadness. This is the Enchantress bringing up those emotions so we can recognise our triggers and learn to deal with them, and release them during the crone phase (menstrual cycle) during the Crone phase, we can release those triggers as we can now understand them and accept them.

I have found the Enchantress challenging. I found her the most difficult aspect to embrace. I didn’t like that I would be impatient and get angry, anger has always been a difficult emotion for me to accept.

With time I am now starting to fully embrace my Enchantress and know the true magic she holds.

The Enchantress is a creatrix.

The Enchantress is a witch.

She is intuition and divine connection. She holds the keys to healing ourselves.

The Enchantress is daring.

She is challenging but empowering.

The Enchantress knows no boundaries. She only speaks the truth.

The Enchantress dares. She creates. She is a divine yet forgotten part of Shakti.

At this time the veil is growing thin, let us acknowledge the Enchantress in us all, whether female or male, the Enchantress in the Earth.

She is Autumn, both dark yet colourful at the same time.

I will no longer be scared of my inner darkness and allow the Enchantress to speak, to help me to create, to listen to my inner wisdom.

I urge you to do the same.

Vishwa Shakti Avaham…

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September look back

Happy October! (not sure where Summer went)!

Here’s my look back on my intents and goals for the year and how they went last month:

Happiness/Divine Feminine/Balance- had some aspects of all three.

cook more-  no

to have new experiences and visit new places- gave part 2 of Munay Ki for the first time (wisdomkeeper, daykeeper and earthkeeper rites) and they were amazing! Went to Epping Forest

step fully into my role as a healer- see above, plus one womb healing and blessing, and I stepped onto the Shamanic Medicine Wheel!

activism- none

better at birthdays- no

finish my lists- a little

update on giving up the pill- nothing new to say really, am waiting to see how long this cycle is…

make more time for creativity- wrote one or two poems, being drawing a menstrual mandala everyday, mandalas that represent how I feel each day of this cycle

to live to my cycle and educate others- still trying as much as possible.

What else I got up to:

had the last two lessons of the Foundation Shamanism course I’ve been doing the last 9 months. We made a despacho and had an amazing fire ceremony in Epping Forest for the last session. I am going to miss it a lot!

Last weekend I did the first of the Medicine Wheel training weekends, so I am now on the South, working with the energy of Serpent- about releasing the past and what no longer serves us. I am now a mesa carrier 🙂 and I got to walk the Saffron Walden labyrinth again!

This month as it stands: more munay ki, Goddess circle, Red Tent

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