Moonlight Phoenix has risen

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Witches New Year 2018

Slightly delayed post this year but with good reason, I’ve moved house!

Long term regular readers will know that as I am pagan, October 31st is extra special  to me as it’s the season of Samhain, which is all about honouring the ancestors but is also Witches New Year! So I set my main intentions for the year in October and then usually add a few more on January 1st. It’s been an amazing year with some big ups and some bigs downs. I carried on with my Shamanic medicine wheel training, I have now moved onto the West of the medicine wheel which is about facing your fears and stepping into your power, I did my Moon Mother Level 2 in Glastonbury (at last, I went)!and had some amazing experiences there which really heightened my connection to the Goddess. I had a big spiritual rebirth there which did lead me to having a bit of an emotional breakdown, but once I got through it I felt sooo much better! I went to Red Tent Rayleigh regularly which was brilliant, did ecstatic dance and for a while went to a witchy circle as well. It ended with us moving, as we moved on 1st November, what divine timing! We had intended to move to London for quite some time and it has finally happened. We now live near Canning Town in a houseshare with 4 other people and we are loving it so far.

The goals I had set for last year were:

to be empowered in all areas of my life- did feel quite empowered through doing my medicine wheel training and also when I went to Glastonbury as it was the first time I went away on my own and sorted out my own travel and my own air bnb etc.

to be more visible- as mentioned I went to a few groups etc regularly which made a massive difference, especially Red Tent as through that I made some new friends, had new experiences, started going to ecstatic dance and had sessions with a life coach.

to create new beginnings- yes! Right at end, we moved to a whole other county!

to let go more and allow flow into my life- eventually! after having the breakdown I finally let of writing so many lists and putting so much pressure on myself, and look what’s happened since!

My intentions for this new wheel of the year are

1. To build up my reputation as a healer, so I can head in the direction of being able to be self employed. Hopefully by moving to London this will be much more possible now.#

2. To start a new women’s circle in London

3. To do my Moon Mother Level 3 in Ireland in July.

4. To spend more time with people I love and doing things I love

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Gratitude

The wheel of the year has turned and we are now into the energy of Mabon, the Autumn Equinox. Here in the UK, the weather has turned darker, the leaves are falling, the winds are blowing and the rain is falling.

At this time, we pause to reflect on all we have achieved over the year and be thankful for everything we have in our lives. If you don’t already do one, a great practice to start is a gratitude list, this can be as long or short as you like, I like to write two things down every day that I’m grateful for, others do 3, and if you are feeling extra grateful you might even like to do 10! Remembering what we have is a good way to take the attention away from the things we don’t have, which is something pretty much everyone is guilty of at some point. It can bring even a tiny glimmer of hope on a gloomy day just to remember for a few moments that it’s not all bad.

Most of you reading this, will either have a laptop, a computer, or maybe wifi on a phone, or maybe access to the internet through a library or an internet cafe. Most of us have got a roof over our heads, with access to drinking water, and possibly heating, electric, t.v, food in our fridges/freezers, and that’s a great start! You probably have a bed to sleep in a night and access to a toilet. Maybe also family, maybe friends, maybe a job, maybe a partner.

What I am grateful for right now?

I am grateful for my healing journey that has been accelerated by walking the shamanic medicine wheel path. This year I have really started to accept myself fully instead of thinking I need to be more like others, that I need to fix myself, I’ve started to see what’s great about me and love myself more, not comparing and despairing anymore. I’ve started to see that nearly all of us are thinking we are not “good enough” so actually all of us are going round trying to be like others, when they are probably trying to be more like us! So we might as well just be ourselves.

I am grateful for the amazing connection with the Goddess I have formed this year, it has never been so strong. For the first time without me trying, Goddesses have come to me! I got guided to Ishtar through a journey, Sekmet came to me in a dream, a deck of Isis cards came to me, I finally got to go to Glastonbury, a dream of mine for a long time and while I was there Brigid rebirthed me on the Tor, and I also had an encounter with Mary Magdalen.

I got to complete my level 2 Moon Mother training in Glastonbury, made some wonderful friends. I finally got to do part 2 of my South shamanic training and learnt an incredible healing called the Illumination.

I had a breakdown but it led to massive breakthrough. I reawakened my inner child and have fell in love with myself again.

Thank you Goddess, thank you God, thank you Spirit, thank you to all those in my life.

I love you. Thank you, thank you, Thank you!

 

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Worldwide Womb Blessing and Pisces Full Moon

Still time to register!

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Self Love

Self love is a term we often hear bandied about these days, yes we need to love ourselves more, but how exactly do we give ourselves self love, and what is it? Is it through affirmations, yoga, meditation? Or is it through getting massages, face masks, writing positive messages on the mirror to read in the morning before we walk out the door?

Self love can be many things and that is why maybe it is the hardest thing that’s possible to do, even when you read every magazine article and like every self love quote meme going around Facebook and Instagram, and yet still we are not loving ourselves fully.

Most of us live in a cloud of judgement, this judgement is actually created by ourselves. From a young age we take in every belief from everything around us, from the media, teachers/school, family, friends, everything. If we get told we’re useless enough times we’ll soon believe it. Then this manifests into high standards we have created for ourselves to make ourselves “good enough”. The truth is we are enough.

This is why self love is possibly the hardest hurdle for most of us on our healing journey. As it means we have to let go of every negative thing we have ever been told about ourselves, including our own self talk which is probably the worst of them all. It means fully accepting yourself as you are. It means honouring your own choices without anything else taking you away from your personal truth. It means setting boundaries and keeping them.

Self love is almost a contradiction which is why it can’t necessarily be resolved with a few positive affirmations or a once a month pamper session.  As it also means knowing that you will sometimes fall down, that sometimes you will struggle. But also being in a place of acceptance that you are able to feel the emotions and acknowledge them, but not let them rule you.

It means eating healthily and in the right way for your body, but also not denying yourself when you want chocolate/caffeine/sugar! It means moving your body, but also sometimes just laying about doing nothing.  It means getting out there, but also going within. It’s working towards your goals, but also taking downtime.

It’s knowing that no one and nothing is perfect. Loving yourself is loving all of you and that’s a hard thing to do. But we can do it! ❤

 

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April 2018

Somehow already a week of May has been and gone in the blink of an eye and I haven’t wrote my blog about April yet! so here is my monthly tracker of how I did with my goals and intentions for the year during April.

My words for the year are: Love, Energy and Prosperity. done things towards all of those but nothing new to add here really or anything that stands out that happened.

specific intentions:

take my healing work to the next level- I went along to another South Part 1 medicine wheel training, I’ve already done part 1 so I came to shadow the teaching, I did get to gift the Harmony Rite of the Munay Ki to some of the students as well. I also had a mad experience with a past life journey I did where I felt all the emotions of letting it go..it was really intense and a little scary!

to be more empowered in more areas of my life- not sure anything specific

to be more visible- attended quite a few things

create new beginnings- paid some more of debts that need to be cleared before we can move.

to let go and allow flow more- I’m getting better at it!

and what I got up during April:

went to the south training I mentioned and had a really powerful weekend realising how much I’ve changed and developed over the last 6 months, plus I got to walk the labyrinth for the third time! (and every time is different)

had a visit from my friend Rae which was nice.

went to Miguel’s current shamanic group as they did an activity we didn’t do when I did the course which was a past life journey, it was very strong and epic.

went to a moot where Gareth was doing a talk about shamanism. I won a whole tub of crystals on the raffle so I was really happy, can’t believe someone had been that generous.

went to Red Tent Rayleigh which was run by Tania and Juliette this month and we did a coaching style exercise which was really powerful and felt great afterwards. I look forward to this every month now.

I started a new women’s circle in Southend again while I am still here and happy to say it filled up, I limited to 4 spaces but ended up having 5 people. we are going to be meeting on full moons. For the first one we took part in the Worldwide womb blessing and it was beautiful!

 

 

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March 2018

Another Month gone, so how did I get on with my focus and intentions for the year during March?

Love/Energy/Prosperity- carried on with the energy things I started doing (vitamins, more water etc), prosperity I actually managed to raise enough to do my Advanced Moon Mother training this year through my crowdfunding page but also by my own saving, so not only have I paid a deposit, I’ve also booked a room!

healing work to the next level- see above! So in June I’m going to Glastonbury to do Level 2 of my Moon Mother training! I’m really excited, as not only am I doing the next part of my training, I’ve never been to Glastonbury and I’ve also wanted to go, (I’m going a day early and leaving a day late so hopefully I get a chance to see some of it)! and I’m also going away for the first time on my own so scary and exciting.

to be more empowered in more areas of my life- just goes back to the moon mother thing really for March as I did set an intent and managed to do it!

to be more visible- did a few social things

to create new beginnings- nothing specific yet

to let go and allow flow more- every week it’s getting easier..

what I actually got up to in March:

went to my monthly witchy circle, my favourite yet, as not only did we celebrate spring equinox, we took part in a ceremony called a blessingway for one of the sisters who is pregnant, so a blessing for her basically. We could all paint symbols on her belly, and each got a candle to light when she goes into labour, and a bracelet that we cut when the baby is born to represent the umbllicol cord being cut, and we all wrote positive messages for her, and some of her friends read poems, it was really beautiful and very special.

I held a small circle for women’s day (not on the exact day but that week) with just two women but it was really powerful with some very deep sharing 🙂

did a womb blessing for someone

went to Red Tent Rayleigh, had a great evening doing partner yoga and yoga nidra.

There was a special event at AHO studio where we do a lot of our London work, a well known shaman came to do a blessing on the studio and on London and it was all filmed, and we took part.  you can watch it here- https://www.facebook.com/daren.ellis.1969/videos/10156253147798767/?fref=mentions

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Feb 2018

how I got on with my focus and intentions

Love/Energy/Prosperity- energy was probably the main focus of those in February, I made sure to take vitamins everyday, started cutting down on snacks, and slowly started to increase my water intake. There was some aspects of the month that related to the other words but not much.

healing work to the next level- I started a crowdfunding page to help me raise enough funds to do the Advanced Moon Mother training this year, so far I’ve had £40 in donations which is more than I expected and I’ve managed to save £30, so that’s £70 towards the £400 in total so far.

to be more empowered in more areas of my life- not sure if anything specific

to be more visible- did do some social things

to create new beginnings- nothing yet

to let go and allow flow more- yep still gradually allowing more flow…

what I actually got up to-

I had a week off, during that week I did a healing swap with my friend Roberta, and just did a few bits at home.

I met up with my friend Fiona who I hadn’t seen for ages and we had coffee and cake at a local cafe.

I went to red tent rayleigh and it was movement meditation, which was more energetic than I was expecting…

I suffered with toothache unfortunately quite a bit so had to make an appointment with the dentist and it turns out I need a wisdom tooth taken out but I’m being refered to the hospital so I can be sedated.

Now we’re in March and currently snowed in and I have another week off, I hope this snow stops soon, I’m not a fan!

 

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The Circle

Once upon a time there was a girl called Rosa. Rosa was very sad. Rosa was sad because she felt lonely. She felt like no one loved her because although she did have some friends she hardly saw them and this made her feel like she wasn’t very important to them or to anyone really.

Rosa knew a very wise man who lived in the jungle. She decided she would go visit him for help because she didn’t want to feel sad anymore. To get to the jungle, she needed to go further down the river, so she left her village and went to the river where she found her trusty canoe. She rode as fast as she could, because she couldn’t bear these feelings anymore.

Because the wise man was wise, he always knew exactly when Rosa would visit him, so when she arrived in the jungle, he was there waiting for her. “Hello Rosa” he said and offered his hands to help her out of the canoe.

“There is pain in your heart, what caused this?” he asked, looking concerned. Rosa began to cry. The wise man let her finish crying, because he knew crying was very important as it helped the emotion to be released. After a few minutes Rosa spoke of her pain of feeling alone and not important. The wise man put a blanket around her and led her into the jungle where he walked her to a clearing, where there was a big fire burning bright.

The wise man sat Rosa next to the fire. Pointing at the fire he said, ” This is Taita Wari, the Great Transformer, he will help you.” then he walked away leaving Rosa on her own in front of the fire. Rosa didn’t know what she was supposed to do but she trusted the wise man so she sat and just stared into the flames of the fire.

The longer she stared, the more hypnotised she felt. From out of nowhere, she found herself getting up and dancing around the fire. She kept dancing, and colours exploded around her, so she could no longer see the fire or even herself, just the bright colours of orange, red and yellow.

Then the colours changed and she was no longer dancing around a fire, but she was now dancing around a huge ancient oak tree, with dewy grass under her feet and she was no longer alone. Dancing with her, were animals of all shapes and sizes, dancing in a circle around the tree. Even though some of the animals were predators and some were prey, they were still dancing around the tree happily with no fear or threat of violence.

Soon the tree faded away again and Rosa was dancing around the fire once again, but now she was dancing around the fire with people from her life- some friends, some family members, some work colleagues, and some acquaintances.  She felt really happy as she continued to dance.

The dance began to slow and the people began to fade away, and in their place were large rocks. The dance stopped and Rosa felt a sense of peace, as she stood in this circle of stones.

The wise man came back smiling.  “Now you understand Rosa, everything and everyone is connected. Every person, every plant, every animal, every stone, and not one is more important than the other. We are all part of the web of life and everyone is equal. Even if we sometimes feel alone, we are never truly alone. All you need to do is be yourself and remember you are part of everything. Nothing else matters.”

 

For All My Relations ❤

 

 

 

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How November 2017 was…

focus for the year: Divine Feminine, Balance and Happiness

Divine Feminine- as usual I did a lot towards this, as well as all my daily work, I went to quite a few women’s groups, I won a Skype Womb Ceremony (well basically we talked about red tents, periods and yonis for an hour lol) and did one womb healing.

Felt I was a bit more balanced as I started to go out a bit more than I have been for most of the year! and because of this I was also doing more things that made me happy 🙂

Intentions

Cook more- did cook a few times

Make more time for creativity- did write a blog, and attempted crafting at one of the circles I went to…

Be better at birthdays- no

Finish the lists- no not really

Live to my cycle and educate others- yep

and my new intentions that I created on Witches New Year..

to be empowered in all areas of my life- in a way yes as I made myself go out more even when I thought we couldn’t really afford it..but also I started to get the influx of bookings for healings! I’ve already had two clients in December and I’ve still got another 3 booked in!

to be more visible- Yep! I went to three events.

to create new beginnings- well I’m slowly tying loose ends to make it easier when the time is right to be able to move…

to learn to let go more and allow FLOW into my life- it’s a slow process as I do love my lists and being organised, but I have been slowly letting go week by week of different lists and different things that stop me from being in the moment. It’s just finding the balance of being in the moment but also making sure things do get done!!

What I got up to during November- I went to the Rayleigh Red Tent, I went a few years ago but hadn’t taken the time for myself to go again even though the venue is literally across the road from where I work! It was quite good, we had a share and then got to try Chakra Dance, which I never done before but it was really good, and we had blindfolds on so it was even more liberating!

I went to the Sisters of the earth Goddess circle I’ve been attending the last few months. We did a guided meditation to the Goddess Freya and made crone dolls. I wasn’t very good so mine is still sitting here unmade 😦

It was transgender day of remembrance on the 20th so I called on others to join and light a candle and send a wave of love at 8pm on that day.

I met up with my friend Lauren and we went to leigh, where I got some crystals and we went had vegan cake at a bookshop that has a coffee shop inside with a vegan menu!

I had a womb healing client and I finished someone else on their Munay Ki Path.

I went to an anti fur protest in Leigh

I went to an evening event which was an hour of gentle yoga and a sound bath, very relaxing!

December so far seems to be all about the healings! (and I did actually pick the card ‘The singer of healing’ as my card for this month on my year reading) I don’t do Xmas but will be going to the work xmas meal which is at ASK this year (I’m looking forward to it as another venue that has a vegan menu now) and we will be celebrating the Winter Solstice. I’m also hoping to go to Red tent Rayleigh again and go out for new year.

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