Moonlight Phoenix has risen

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My Moon Mother/Womb Blessing Journey so far

You may remember I mentioned in a previous blog that I wanted to write a full blog about what has happened with me since becoming a Moon Mother in November, well I’ve had more and more to write as time has gone on, and now feels the time to start writing this out!

Firstly for those who may not know I will describe what a Moon Mother is. A Moon Mother is a woman initiated by Miranda Gray to be able to give personal womb blessings and womb healings. Miranda is a healer and a writer who has wrote lots of books about the female cycle and how to work with it. Eventually she channelled the gift of the Worldwide Womb Blessing, which is a free long distance version which works with the group of women as a whole, whereas the personal one works with that specific woman. The Worldwide Womb Blessings take place five times a year on a full moon with thousands of women around the world. Take a look and consider registering for the next one in May. Click here!

So what is the Womb Blessing and what is Womb Healing?

The womb blessing is a divine feminine attunement which deepens your connection to the Goddess and her healing energy. If you have a personal womb blessing, afterwards you enter a 28 day ‘rebirth’ cycle (and so does the Moon Mother giving the blessing) which helps you to release old patterns and thought patterns that no longer serve you and helps you to discover your true authentic self. The rebirth can be very subtle or it can be very strong and bring up emotions and old memories that need to be released. This is a transformative process.

Womb healing is done in person and is a nurturing process. A womb healing brings balance and healing energy to the three female energy centres of the body, and also to the four female archetypes of the cycle. As a result your cycle may find more balance and you may also find more balance in your everyday life.

Both of these can be given to all women from first menstruation, and it doesn’t matter if they have a womb or a cycle. Women in menopause and beyond, and women who don’t have a womb for medical reasons, and women who don’t have a cycle due to medical or contraceptive reasons, all can receive these healings.

If you are in the UK area and this resonates with you, then please visit our website for more information and to book http://thehealingpathways.co.uk/

Anyway enough plugging now, I want to tell you my personal journey since becoming a Moon Mother. During the weekend of becoming one, I went through many emotions as the very first womb blessing I had from one of the other trainee Moon Mothers affected me almost immediately. I must have had all the emotions there is over that weekend! We were advised not to give any womb blessings for 28 days so that we could integrate the work and our own womb blessing. During that first rebirth and integration, mostly I felt okay  but I did feel more tired and towards the end I did have some feelings come up regarding my relationship which I worked with and got through. I marked the finish by walking the labyrinth in Saffron Walden which was a beautiful way to finish and properly start my path as a Moon Mother.

In December I started to give womb healings on a gift or donation basis as a practice before fully charging. I think I did four during December and I was astounded by the results that people were reporting! One lady with suspected endometriosis had more pain the day after, but was pain free for a while afterwards. Another woman who is almost in menopause, had a period the following day after several months without. and another who had very irregular cycles  and had even had surgery to help this, noticed a big improvement after receiving the womb healing. I was, and am still pretty dumbfounded! The power of the divine feminine through this work has been amazing and what an honour to be doing this. I also noticed that by giving the healing, it also benefited me, if I was on my period, it would also help my pain! Moon Mothers can also do this healing to themselves so I have given this to myself almost every day since the training. I gave another two womb healings in January (including my first fully paid one)! and have done one this month.

Also during December I hosted my first Worldwide Womb Blessing group with a small amount of women from my women’s circle. It went really well and it was the first time I had taken part and been able to send the energy as well as receive, and that felt so powerful! I’m looking forward to hosting bigger groups later in the year.

Last month I started doing the personal womb blessings on a gift or donation basis, again to get the practice before charging properly. I did two that were one day after the other, so the cycles for those two women have now come to a close. Both experienced a lot of tiredness, and one had a lot come up emotionally also. Despite being in two rebirth cycles, again, I was mostly okay but excess tiredness and some small things came up to be dealt with. I’ve done another two this month (one fully paid)! but they have only just begun, so it’s a bit early yet to know how it’s affected them, but the common theme for me is tiredness, and I have definitely had some small things coming up again so far. I also took part in the Worldwide Womb blessing for this month but not in a group this time, but Miguel joined me and took part in ‘The Gift’ which is a gift of divine feminine energy but for men.

Now I’m sure this all sounds a lot already, but actually there is more! I found out about Moon Mothers through taking part in Worldwide Womb blessings for about a year before, but I had never read any of Miranda Gray’s books. While I was at the workshop, there were of course some of her books for sale. On the first day, I bought ‘Red Moon’ , mainly because there was a third day of the workshop for a separate fee which I wasn’t attending but was based on this book, and Miranda had mentioned briefly about the archetypes that are used in the womb healing but said she would go into detail of those on that day, so I thought I would get the book, so that I could get this knowledge even if it wasn’t in the workshop format. I actually started reading it on the way home and it’s been life changing since! On the following day I decided I would buy another book, it was a heard choice as they all looked so good but I decided to get her newest book ‘Female Energy Awakening’ which also has become part of my every day life!

Before I read these books I did track the day of my cycle and what moon phase we would be in at each day but nothing else. Since reading them I have become cycle obsessed! In Red Moon, Miranda talks about how to track your cycle, in full depth about each of the archetypes, what kind of activities might be appropriate for those stages, and includes lots of little meditations and exercises to do at different times of the month. Since reading red Moon, I have made 3 moon dials ( a record of my full cycle, noting what archetype I’m in and more)so have figured out where the archetypes appear in my cycle and what suits me best at each time. I’ve done this by everyday recording what moods I’ve been in, any ailments I’ve experienced, what activities I’ve done, what clothes I’ve worn, when I’ve made love etc, and it’s really fascinating to see how it tallies up each month! I highly recommend you read Red Moon to get the full low-down but in brief the four archetypes of the cycle are the Crone (around menstruation) where you need to rest but is highly spiritual, Maiden (after bleeding finished roughly) more energised and social-able, Mother- around ovulation, where you are more caring to others, Enchantress, not long before bleeding, more self focused and can be a bit more impatient but again very spiritual

I discovered through doing this that my archetypes were not very balanced, (2 of them were taking most of the cycle up) so I’ve decided to make it my mission to make them more balanced through the use of womb healing on my self daily, doing the right things for my cycle and working with the female energy awakening book. Female energy awakening goes into depth about the womb blessing but also includes a 28 day guide for working with your cycle which is mainly aimed for after receiving the womb blessing but I have been using it daily and have been repeating it every month. This seems to be working as I noticed a difference with my last moon dial- hooray! All you need to follow the guide is 14 black stones and 14 white stones and 2 bowls. Everyday you either put a white or black stone in a bowl depending where you are at in your cycle, and make a pledge to do something that is good for that part of your cycle that day, then there are also other little exercises to do, like meditations or wearing a bracelet that week in a certain colour. Even if you don’t have a cycle, you can work with this by following the moon phases (and the book guides you to which archetype to which phase). again, it’s been sooo interesting to see how it varies each month and what comes up.

After I did the Worldwide womb blessing in December something very strong came up for me. That I need to change my contraceptive method, as I’m now craving to have my natural cycle. At the time I had 3 months of pills left, I now have one month to go and once they are gone, I won’t be getting more. I’ve been on them since I was fourteen (I’m now 32) so I’ve been on them a very long time so haven’t had a natural cycle for very long at all, I’m not sure how it will go, but I’ve made preparations for when that time will come, and I’m looking forward to getting to know the ‘real’ me underneath the hormone control. I am however grateful for all the years I was on them as I was lucky never to have any issues and they certainly have helped me and I have no judgement on other women who want to use them, but I feel it’s time for me to move on and try something new. So will be very interesting to see what happens to my cycle afterwards!

So finally I’ve wrote this long over due blog and it’s taken me over a hour to write! I hope you find it interesting and I’m always willing to discuss this if you want to find out more, it’s one of my aims to be able to teach women about working with their cycle, so I’m learning all I can right now so in future this will be something I can offer properly.

Now to see what will happen next on my journey as a Moon Mother….

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A look back on 2016 and a look forward to 2017

In 2015 I was a bit early in posting this post, and now I’m late posting 2016. The truth is I have lots of blogs I need to write at the moment, but this is the first chance I’ve had and felt okay to do it. The last week of 2016 and the first week of 2017 have not been good to me. The light is starting to slowly coming back but the last two weeks have been really hard, and for the first time in a long time I’ve not been okay. We had to have one of our cats put to sleep so it started with grief which then morphed into a deep depression and even anger. I felt really alone. However I am now ready to admit I was in a bad place and now is time I can pick myself up again, as the only one who can really do this is me. I have to accept things won’t always be good but they won’t always be bad either. Life is slowly on the up again and one thing I can do to help me is write! So I will slowly start to catch up on my blogs again, as I have lots to say.

let’s start with a look back on 2016..

Music

still not as prominent as it has been in the past, I don’t think I made it to any gigs this year apart from one local one- seeing my friend Ruth’s band T Bitch at their Halloween show at the Railway Hotel, which was really awesome! (it involved one member arriving in a coffin and me standing on a chair in order to see)!

I didn’t buy any new music in 2016 although I did listen to Spotify a lot and tried to diversify my listening a bit by keeping an eye on new releases and checking out their recommended playlists. I don’t think I can really pinpoint anything new in this area.

Books

I set my challenge on Good Reads to read 50 books again, but I still didn’t quite reach it, I think I read 45 or 46 so I have set it for 47 this time.

I think the best books I read were at the end of the year after my Moon Mother training. I read both Red Moon and Female Energy Awakening by Miranda Gray (who trained me). They are about women’s cycles and how to live in harmony with them. They are helping me to change my life! But I will talk more on this in another blog, but I highly recommend them to all women!

Films and TV

I didn’t see any films at the cinema this year. I’m sure I must have watched some good films but I can’t recall any!

TV Wise- Humans was still very good and Black Mirror. Also enjoyed more nature documentaries like Planet Earth.

Photos/Moments/Things I did in 2016

attempted to write a poem a day, which was half successful as a lot of days I didn’t feel inspired by the prompts in the book I was working with!

Passed my Advanced product advisor test for work

Went to see Vampires Rock!

Took part in the first round of the ‘associate of the year’ for work

went to my first Buddhist ceremony

did a meditation workshop at the EDEN conference

Poetry reading at an allotment day twice

Went to Holland

took part in ’30 Days Wild’ in June

helped out at Tower Hill Sanctuary on my birthday

attended 3 Pig Save Vigils

became the supervisor for the Rayleigh store

held my first fire ceremony

went to Whitstable beach in kent

went to a sheep sanctuary

Restarted the Munay ki

went to the Retreat animal sanctuary

became a Moon Mother

went to Portugal

walked the Saffron Walden labrinyth

held my first worldwide womb blessing group, started giving womb healings

did healing at a shamanic weekend

Miguel surprised me with a shamanic wedding blessing ceremony

took part in a free hugs weekend

 

the most popular blogs I wrote in 2016

  1. 2016 Focus and Intentions
  2. dancing barefoot may 16
  3. Essex Pig save
  4. belated post: april poems for #shewritespoetry2016
  5. 30 Days Wild Week 2 (and a bit)

how I did with my goals and intentions in 2016:

learn more about nature- nature was a big theme of 2016 so a big fat yes. 30 days wild in June really helped too!

heighten my spiritual related work- yes although not in the way I hoped, still didn’t have regular clients (mostly I had none) but I did healing work at a retreat weekend and also can now more healings as I became a Moon Mother so can now do Womb Healings and Blessings, in addition to crystal healing.

get to Peru- not yet!

honour seasons and moon more fully- not to the extent I would have liked.

cook more- nope!

go to yoga classes- yes! apart from when I had the change of jobs and couldn’t go, I have been to a lot of classes in 2016.

walk more often- beginning part of the year yes but once changed job location not so much as no longer walking distance!

better self care- I think overall I was better at resting when I needed to, and I also went to the dentist, the optician and had my well overdue smear test

not to be affected by other people’s stories/no expectations- better with no expectations but still can be very affected by other people’s stories.

harness manifestation- yes, I went from a part time to a full time job and managed to manifest a lot of the ideas I had for my women’s circle this year too.

my focus was: Knowledge, health, magic and self care. I think there was a lot of all those things!

Now finally to move forward to 2017. (a week into it, lol)

My Focus this year is: Balance, Happiness, Divine Feminine

My intentions for this year (including those I set back in October on the witches new year)

  1. To Cook more- carrying this one over as I would like to do more with this when I can
  2. to have new experiences and visit new places
  3. to do more of what makes me happy
  4. to step fully into my role as a healer – reworded as still important to me. I love doing the healing work but I need people to come to me to heal!
  5. To do more activism again -would be great to fit in where I can for causes I feel passionate about
  6. be better at birthdays- I’ve had this before too, last year partly because of lack of money part of the year I wasn’t very good at it. This year I’d like to be more organised and thoughtful
  7. finish my lists!- I am a list hoarder and that won’t ever change. However I have lists on my phone with stuff that’s been on there for ages (things to buy etc) so I want to start getting rid of those things!
  8. Give up the Pill- I’ve been on the pill for about 18 years, I’ll go into this on my blog about womb healing/cycles more but now is the time to come off and change contraception method.I’ve got 3 months left so I will use those first, and that gives me time to explore my options
  9. Live to my cycle and educate others- as I’ve already briefly mentioned (and will go deeper in another post) I’ve been learning more about women’s cycles and it is really helping me to understand myself and other women better. I want to be able to live with this cyclic nature in mind. I also want to help other women to understand the nature of their cycle
  10. make more time for creativity- whatever that is- writing, colouring, collaging…just time to create, even if just for myself.

 

 

 

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October 2016 and Witches New Year (looking back then forward again)

Okay so let’s start with how the year ended for me..how did October go?

My key words for the year: Knowledge, health, magic and self care. With regards to health and self care, I have been able to start attending yoga again, and I also went to my dentist 6 month check up.

My goals/Intentions

To heighten my spiritual work- no clients 😦

To get to Peru- nope

To honour seasons and moon more fully- I did my usual things on New moon and full moon, and I think I did celebrate Samhain fully. I got to wear fancy dress at work, I went to a Halloween themed gig, hosted my women’s circle on the night, and today went to visit my nan’s grave and I’ve also done my big reading for the year ahead

To cook more- nope

to go to Yoga classes- went to 3 classes this month, yay!

walk more often- still been doing longer walks on days off

not to be effected by other people’s stories/no expectations- think I’ve mostly been okay with this

manifestation skills- can’t think of anything specific

What I got up to

I went to an open day at a local yoga studio, I got to try a sample ‘anti aging’ class which I didn’t really like as it was far too energetic for Yoga, it even involved star jumps! I also tried a meditation session (relaxing) and a drumming and chanting session which was great, saw lots of friends there too which was nice.

I went to visit my friend Sherry and meet her newest additions- two adorable kittens! 🙂

I went along to the Munay Ki part one workshop Miguel ran in London because I’ve decided to try again with Munay Ki, as I didn’t feel I was getting the full benefit of it despite receiving it over a year ago, but it was when Miguel was first doing it and was all in one go. So hopefully this time I can integrate the rites better and get more out of it.

Went to see my friend’s band ‘T Bitch‘ at the Railway Hotel for Halloween and they were awesome!

Poems

Making Love to the Moon

Oh beautiful moon
Odd, how you make my heart go boom
Of all the sights
You open my mind to new heights
Your gentle glow reminds me every thing’s okay
You inspire me with what to say
On a full moon night
I’m guided by your light
We flow together like the ocean and it’s tides
Knowing each phase brings out our different sides
We are one
Knowing our cycle is never truly done
Full and Flowing
to Dark and Knowing
not everyone can understand
This connection we have
goes beyond sharing a solar system
With us, there is truly no distance.

Autumn

I almost saw you change
from green to orange
orange to brown
falling to the ground
time to let go of what once was
time to go within and see what’s inside
feel what my ancestors have to say
dive deep and reveal
the diamonds in the dark
show me your pain
as the sunshine turns to rain
this is the beginning of the end
Now is the time for us to mend.

So as a pagan, that’s another year ended for me. Overall I think the past 12 months have been pretty good. I got a promotion in my job and I’ve had a few exciting day trips and a holiday to The Hague. I didn’t manage to get any regular healing clients still or go to Peru, but I did go to Yoga quite a bit (I couldn’t for a while because of overtime) and walked loads before I moved job location and I achieved the manifestation as I got a promotion and Migs now has a lot more work, we are managing a lot better now. I’ve also managed to manifest ideas I had for my women’s circle into being like the fire ceremony and the day trip to Whitstable. I did set other goals in January but I will keep those going until the new calendar year as I usually do.

 

So my intentions I’ve set (for now) for the following year are:

  1. To step fully into my role as a healer- so this is one of my goals of last year reworded as this is still important to me. I love to do my healing work but I’m not getting much chance to practice it at the moment! This month I am adding another string to my bow by becoming a Moon Mother, so I’ll be able to also offer womb blessings and Divine Feminine Awakening healings. I hope that will help me get some more work. I will try better this year now things have settled more with my new role to promote the other work I do.
  2. To have new experiences and visit new places- I love adventures and I think more will be possible now! There’s so many places I’d like to visit and things I’d like to do so rather than name all those, I’m putting this intent out there to see where it leads me…
  3. To do more Activism- I used to do a lot more activism and I have been doing a bit more again this year but not as much as I’d like so I would like to try and get more active again for the many causes I care about.#
  4. To do more of what makes me happy- there has been some months where I’ve not seemed to do much other than work, eat, sleep, food shopping and I don’t want that! Life is for living after all!

 

 

 

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Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked…September 2016

I know I’ve said this almost every month but how can another month be gone, how can we now be in Autumn???

Once again it’s time for my monthly check in of my yearly goals, and a little update in what’s been going on in my world.

KNOWLEDGE- I don’t think there’s been much specific to do with this focus in September, other than having to learn lots of things I hadn’t done before at work!

HEALTH- due to overworking most of the month, no focus on this, think I might have even gained a little weight 😦

MAGIC-also not a big focus really

SELF CARE- think it’s only as the month finished that I started doing this more, I did finally get to the opticians though after 5 years! However there is not much of a change, one eye is very slightly weaker than the other but that’s it

To heighten my spiritual ‘work’- no clients at all again, but I put no effort in this, and I didn’t really have a lot of time in between my ‘proper’ job!

To get to Peru- I think we know this isn’t happening this year now. But we did just book a holiday to Portugal- hooray!

To honour seasons and moon- usual full and new moon activities, also took part in an online ritual for the new moon, changed my altar for Autumn Equinox

To cook more- another fail unfortunately..

to go to Yoga classes- 1 class again as I was on holiday for 1 week as my work hours meant I couldn’t go but we have finally filled the vacancy at work so hopefully I can start going every week again now!

walk more often- made more time for longer walks on days off

not to be effected by other people’s stories- mostly okay I think

have no expectations- mostly okay too

manifestation skills- manifested a beautiful day for my circle’s road trip to Whitstable as well as the perfect amount of people to go, also a lift to an animal sanctuary and more sunny weather!

WHAT I GOT UP TO

a bit pants as I worked really a lot! We still had a vacancy so I was doing extra hours because of that, and then I had to run the store one week as the manager was on holiday and I had to work 7 days in a row!

But somehow I did manage to squeeze in some nice things..

For my women’s circle monthly meet up we had planned a road trip to Whitstable beach in Kent to do some beach combing. It turned out to be a lovely warm day, I saw my friend Diana (who now lives in Kent), we found really interesting stones, did a ritual on the beach for the Standing Rock protest in Dakota, and even managed to find vegan chocolate cake!!

love

I went to another Pig Save protest, on a very hot day. It was much harder going this time as I saw the pigs a lot clearer this time, at one point one looked directly at me and I couldn’t help but cry. It is hard to do, but it means a great deal to me just to give those pigs some comfort and compassion before they go to slaughter even if it’s just one last moment.

I met up with my friend Sara at Priory Park and we stopped by some community event that was happening there, lots of stalls of groups and stuff that are in Southend. It was okay but it was mostly enjoyable to sit in the park and chat to Sara.

I went to the optician (exciting not lol) I went along one evening to one of the shamanic circles my husband runs in London as they were doing a special evening that was basically a shamanic sound bath, and was really enjoyable!

It was my friend Lauren’s birthday and she decided to go to a small sheep sanctuary in Kent, I managed to get a lift and spent the day with lots of vegan lovelies. It was another sunny day. The sheep were so cute and there was plenty of vegan food- a bbq, cake and even scones!

dsc_0043

I had the last week of September off but I didn’t do much other than visit my parents and my grandad and go to Yoga! But I guess that’s what I needed!

Poems

again, not a particular inspired month for the poem a day challenge but here are the ones I was happy with:

I would make your dreams come true

I would spread them around you with love

and make sure you are safe and protected

I would make them come true just to make you happy

No matter what the circumstances

as long as you would smile

that’s all that would matter

I would not fight

whatever was right

my love is real

and this way you’ll know how I feel

there would be no doubt

I would close your eyes but help you to see

wherever you’ll truly meant to be

I would think of you every day

knowing things were going your way

I would make you comfortable and secure

I would give you everything

that you desire

in the hope that dreams become shared.

Poem 2

Thinking about it for me there is not many things

that really make me sing

I guess the only thing would be old diaries and notebooks

which no one else would give a second look

but for me they hold memories of many years

years of laughter, joy and sometimes tears

pen to paper

memories to read back later

but that’s all I really keep

but all the rest goes deep

it’s all inside

experiences are what matters to me

objects are just pretty to see

I’d rather live

than worry about physical things I can give

I want people to remember me for me

make a difference to someone’s life

with kindness not with stuff.

 

 

 

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Radar Love- July 2016

Wow, this year is going to fast, can’t believe we are in August already! (and the sky outside today isn’t convincing me either) So time for another update of what I’ve been up to, July was a good month. But first how I did with my goals and intentions for the year..

KNOWLEDGE- since I got the nature finder app during 30 Days wild in June, I’ve been identifying wildlife and flowers regularly, I love it!

HEALTH- not been so good this month, as I started working in Rayleigh in July, I can’t walk to work anymore. I’ve done a few walks but not as much.

MAGIC- nothing specific I can think of

SELF CARE- I’m adapting to full time hours again, so haven’t been always been keeping to plans I’ve made because of tiredness.

To heighten my spiritual work- had one client, and also did some free readings on our business page on the full moon as it’s good practice.

To get to Peru- not there yet!

To honour the seasons and the moon- did usual new moon and full moon things. Lammas is today but I went to a ritual for it on Saturday.

To cook more- still haven’t!

go to Yoga classes- didn’t go to any in July, my work hours at the moment haven’t allowed me to 😦

walk more often- got less as mentioned before

not to be affected by other people’s stories- been ok with this I think

have no expectations- mostly ok with this too

manifestation skills- started my promotion a week earlier than planned!

WHAT I GOT UP TO

I had a belated birthday party as a lot of people couldn’t come on my actual birthday and Migs was away that weekend. I had a rainbow/80’s theme, there was only a few of us but it was really fun, we did 80s karaoke!  We were all completely sober too, lol!

I went to a Southend Vegans (a facebook group I’m on) meet up at The Railway Hotel, met some lovely new people but also knew a lot of people there too and everyone was super nice.

Started my job at Rayleigh a week earlier than planned as they were so desperate for staff! So it was all very sudden! I had to move a few plans about, as I now work Saturdays instead of Sundays.

I had a leaving drinks meet up (a week after I left because of all the sudden-ness of it) It was a fun night

I had my circle but as I had to move the day, there was only two of us. It was still nice though as we went to Priory Park and the theme was nature. It was a really warm day too.

I went to a poetry day at a community allotment my friend Fiona is involved with. It was another beautiful day spent with friends and nature.

I went to a Lammas ritual hosted by members of the local pagan moot I occasionally attend.

Busier month and I’m excited about this month too- got a fire ceremony tonight, away at the weekend, wedding anniversary coming up and other fun things too- yay 🙂

POEMS

my poems everyday for a year thing isn’t going great, I didn’t write any I was happy with or even bits of poems last month but I think I had a few this month so will put them here..haven’t felt inspired by the prompts lately.

Poem 1- Apology

I’d like to apologise on behalf of the human race

That we’re destroying the planet at an incredible pace

I’m so sorry for all the trees chopped down

All the pollution gives me a frown

I’m so sorry that there is animal abuse

and I’m sorry people’s ethics are so loose

I’d like to apologise on behalf of the human race

before the world disappears without a trace…

Poem 2- Reasons to be happy (unfinished)

Because the sun is shining today

because ultimately it will all be okay

Because worrying is a waste of time

Because I’m making the effort to make this rhyme

Because the birds are singing a beautiful song

Because it’s better than focusing on what’s wrong..

Poem 3 (unfinished)

Why are you alone?

Do you wish to be on your own?

Or are you lonely, staring out to sea?

I’m here contemplating life’s journey

Shall I row on or shall I stop and admire the view?

Poem 4

She fell into a forest
Head first, into the trees
for miles she could see
an everlasting trail
of what could ever be
fragile existence of life
untouched yet disturbed
by humanity’s deep disgrace
a truth we must learn to face
by looking within
only then will we know our deepest sin

 

 

 

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dancing barefoot..May 2016

Time for another month completion post, this year is sure passing by quickly!

FOCUS AND INTENTIONS UPDATE

KNOWLEDGE (focus on nature)- nothing specific really

HEALTH- been overall healthy I think

MAGIC- still haven’t done much focus on this

SELF CARE- resting when I need to still, and also booked and went for my smear test, as last time I kept forgetting to book it.

To heighten my spiritual work- no clients for the month, have been promoting my upcoming Goddess workshop as much as possible.

To get to Peru- still a long way off (for now)

To honour the seasons and moon- In addition to the full moon and new moon, there was Beltane, but I didn’t really do anything special for it sadly

To cook more- still nope

go to Yoga classes-only got to one during May 😦 holiday, work etc all got in the way.

walk more often- been walking every day to work still

not to be affected by other people’s stories- thinking I’m starting to get the hang of this more 🙂

have no expectations- need to work on this a bit more

manifestation skills- still lots of reading, meditation etc

WHAT I GOT UP TO

Went on Holiday! We went to Holland for four days. It was great, it deserved it’s own blog post, which you can read here

Went to a play (well not really a play but not sure how else to describe it) with my friend Fiona called ‘Three Acres and a Cow‘ it was a history of land activism told through storytelling, poetry and folk music. It was very interesting and I learnt lots.

I had my circle which in May was on the theme of ‘Desire’ it was another small but lovely one 🙂

It ended with a night in with my friend Fiona watching a documentary called ‘Girl Rising‘ about girls over the world who overcome great challenges to gain an education. Available on Netflix if you have it

so still working quite a bit but at least I had a holiday! Things calming down a bit work wise and lots of social things coming up so June looks to be a good one 🙂

POETRY- here’s any poems/bits of poems I managed for the #shewritespoetry2016 challenge! (writing a poem every day this year using a book of prompts) at some point I’ll make time to work on them further, finish some and give some of the prompts another go.

Poem 1

The daffodil hill

is better than any pill

to make me smile

even when I feel bottom of the pile

the sight of a tulip is my top tip

for a floral lift

when you’ve had a rift

a bluebell

always makes me feel well

a snowdrop

makes me want to hop

(unfinished)

Poem 2

Acceptance is beauty

life is fine

when you’re sea calm

we all have dream variations

some of us will see the snake and some of us will see a bouquet

listen to that jukebox love song

don’t be afraid of a cultural exchange

be open to what’s in front of you

listen with your heart not your head

be who you want to be

and live the life you dreamed.

poem 3

Awake

Believing

Consuming

Dreams

Enveloping

Fascinating

Growing

Holding

In your Mind

Just

Keep

Loving

More

Never be afraid to

Open your heart

Pay attention

Quell those fears

Remember who you are

Swim against the tides

Undo the pain you once felt

Very releasing

When you learn to let go

X Ray your soul

You are beautiful

now it’s time to dream…zzzzz

Poem 4

Fade into light

second sight

delving into night.

Poem 5

The willow tree is slowly waving to the rhythm of the wind

Children walk past undoing their school ties

then piling onto buses

the sky is still light but there’s a sense of the day coming to an end

clock watching at work is driving you round the bend

a good time for a cup of tea

look out the window at those going past

and wonder when hometime will arrive at last

(unfinished- I think)!

 

 

 

 

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Spirit Will Always Follow (Holland 2016)

Wherever you are
Spirit will always follow
What ever you do
Spirit will always follow
As you walk
Spirit will walk with you
If you run
Spirit will run alongside you
If you fall
Spirit will pick you up
If you cry
Spirit will wipe your tears
When you smile
Spirit will add that extra sparkle
when you laugh
Spirit will laugh with you
When you pray
whether it’s in a church or a forest
Spirit will listen
Spirit will guide
Spirit will show you the way
You just have to open your heart and allow her in
It’s not always easy
but it’s always possible
if you trust
it’ll all be all right in the end
a rainbow will appear
from the dark clouds
spirit will take care of you
if you also take care of yourself
Spirit will always follow
wherever you are
whatever you do
Spirit will always follow.

This poem is inspired by our recent trip to Holland. Let me explain why..

When you live a spiritual life, your eyes are always open to signs and divinity in everyday life. Before I went away I felt I couldn’t bring any of my spiritual items such as my spiritual journal, oracle cards etc, even though I usually do try to keep up my spiritual routine to some extent. This time I thought perhaps I felt like this because I needed to take a break. It became clear in less than 24 hours after landing that this wouldn’t be the case.

The first night we stayed with my in laws, near Assen, a more country side area of the country. They are highly spiritual people so there was always going to be some element of it while we stayed with them. There was a lot very deep talking and clearing, which was mostly connected with my husband. But also they gave us both some very beautiful gifts, which were spiritually minded items so we ended up having spiritual ‘stuff’ anyway! It was on this day that I suddenly made the connection that I had been getting a lot of signs about unicorns, which had been topped off when they gave me a book about unicorns. I had an unicorn healing attunement quite some time ago now, and although I worked with it a little after that, I didn’t continue to do any more. Before we went away there had been connections with unicorns coming up, and it just kept coming, and it still is! On the day I got the book I read a small bit of the book that talked about unicorn signs, and how it’s a sign for you to work with them, so I have been working quite intensely with them since we got back. We also had a beautiful moment there when we went for a walk to the nearby pond and were delighted with seeing a coot and her babies!  What a divine moment!

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On day two, it was mostly travelling to The Hague where we were staying for the rest of our break and relaxing. We saw another beautiful area- the Palace Gardens.

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Day 3 was the best day! Miguel showed me where he used to live and then we went to Zuiderpark which was absolutely huge and beautiful. But before we even saw much of it there is a city farm there which Miguel used to go to as a child and I fell in love. It wasn’t a regular farm, no meat or dairy produced, but a free educational farm where children can go to learn about nature, taking care of animals and having respect for living beings. You could buy a cup of food to feed the animals so we had lots of fun feeding them, especially the cheeky goats who would practically jump over the gate! We then went into the main enclosure, where I cuddled a beautiful gentle one eyed cow and stroked lots of lambs, sheep, pigs and of course goats! I honestly feel so happy being around animals I had trouble being pulled away and I had tears in my eyes feeling emotional!

Afterwards we had a look at some more of the park, and Miguel showed me a special tree where his granddad used to tell him gnomes lived.

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We went back to the area near the hotel to have lunch and next door to our hotel was the church where Miguel’s parents got married, so we decided to go inside. I wasn’t sure how I would feel, as a pagan, I can feel a bit uncomfortable but actually when we walked in, it was beautiful and there people inside praying and I only felt calm. We both sat down and made a prayer ourselves. Then we saw a section where you could light a candle offering in front of a choice of saints/important Christian figures. Even though we both didn’t know anything about him, we both felt compelled to make an offering to St.Anthony. Before we left we cleansed our hands with holy water. When we left we looked up St.Anthony who turns out to have a strong connection with Portugal (which is important to Miguel as he is half Portuguese) but also is connected with animals and the vulnerable, which I felt was relevant to me and connected a lot to the prayer I had made!

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We also went into a shop with all Navajo and Hopi tribe items and then in the afternoon decided to go to the coast. The weather had been a mix of rain and sun, it was fine when we left but sadly turned when we got there, it was so windy and wet we didn’t stay as long as we had hoped. I wanted to go near the water and the wind was so bad, it was like we were getting blown away! But I got near a puddle, put my hand in it and felt energy run all through me.

So on that day we were in touch with all the elements- Earth- the park and trees there, fire- candles in church, water- the sea, air- the massive wind at the coast and Spirit- praying in a church.

Sunday was our last day, we went to see some of Miguel’s friends in Haarlem, then had a stop in Amsterdam which was mostly disappointing as was so busy and not much to look at, but we visited the Kuan Yin shrine again, which was still wonderful. We both made prayers there as well, made offerings to Kuan Yin and read a long prayer they had printed to use as well.

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Although short, was my favourite trip to Holland yet. No plans to be spiritual particularly, but Spirit will always follow…

 

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The air we breathe will take us..April 2016

Time for the 4th update of the year, how crazy is that! And although my overtime in Rayleigh finished, I’ve still been working a lot and not much else. In dire need of an adventure, at least I have one soon when we go to Holland for a few days.

FOCUS AND INTENTIONS UPDATE

KNOWLEDGE (particularly about nature) not something I’ve done much in April really.

HEALTH- been a lot better this month, apart from maybe a bit tired.

MAGIC- another one not focused on this time.

SELF CARE- gave myself more rests when I needed to but nothing else different really

To heighten my spiritual work- I’ve had 2 clients in the late end of April! and hopefully will have 2 more sessions booked in before I go away on the 12th 🙂

To get to Peru- concentrating on the trip to Holland for now.

To honour the seasons and moon more- did my usual things for the new moon and full moon

To cook more- no still not been good with this really

go to Yoga classes- I think I got to 2 classes, but there were a few that were cancelled or on a bank holiday

walk more often- still walking pretty much every day

not to be affected by other people’s stories- think I’m getting better but defintley a few occasions where I was REALLY affected

have no expectations- came off facebook for the month and I think this helped!

manifestation skills- still doing lots of reading up and doing a guided abundance meditation daily

and what I got up to..I met up with my friend Sara at Churchill Gardens and did some colouring 🙂 on the same day I went to see my Grandad as it has been hard to find the time

There was the E.D.E.N conference de brief where we just discussed how it went etc.

I went to an open day at my friend Fiona’s community allotment but the weather was very bad so no one else showed up who wasn’t a part of the allotment! It was supposed to be a poetry reading day, but I was the only one who read an original poem lol

I had my circle which was about forgiveness. There was only 3 of us this time round but it was very strong I think.

Literally everything else was work 😦 sooo can’t wait for the holiday!!!!

 

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Unstoppable Today- February 2016

Wow month two of the year over already! There was more of the same for me, as my overtime in Rayleigh is still ongoing, as it looks like the manager is going to be off for a bit longer than expected.

My Focus and Intentions Update

KNOWLEDGE- I’ve been walking to work almost every day, and I usually walk along the brook so I’ve been watching the wildlife around me, and learning the names of birds that I might not have seen before. I’ve started seeing grey wagtails every day, they are so cute, how they hop around in the shallow water!

HEALTH- as I just mentioned I’ve been walking to work almost every day!

MAGIC- didn’t do much of this one.

SELF CARE- I am training myself to be more positive especially when it comes to financial matters. I also took part in a self love tarot challenge on Instagram which was really helpful as gave lots of thought provoking questions to work on. I’ve also booked my next dentist appointment which is a few months overdue.

To learn more about nature- see Knowledge.

To heighten my spiritual work- none as yet as I still haven’t had a lot of time to promote it much but I did start planning in dates for some workshops I want to do this year. (to teach)

To get to Peru- nothing towards this yet

To honour the seasons and moon more fully- there was Imbolc, which I did try to celebrate more fully but I planned too much and life got in the way, so my plans for that have been a bit more spread out than on just one day, but hopefully it will all be doing before Spring Equinox! On the full moon, I took part in Miranda Gray’s Womb Blessing, and I also did a reading for myself and put our crystals out. On the new moon before that, I did a reading also.

to cook more- I got cooked a couple of times but with all the work I’ve been doing it’s been not on top of my list.

go to Yoga classes- I went to two, as because of overtime I couldn’t go every week this month sadly.

walk more often- I’ve walked pretty much every day!

Take better self care- see earlier in post

not to be affected by other people’s stories- getting better but still a lot of work to do

have no expectations- have been doing this, and it does make you feel much better!

manifestation skills- been reading lots of info about this, and also finally read “The Secret” which is very helpful!

What else I have been doing-

I went to the ‘Holland and Barrett Hall of Fame’ competition, I had to go to London for the day and take part in games like a Holland and barrett themed Mastermind and things like that. Some people will get picked to go through to the next stage, and then an associate, a manager and a supervisor will all win a chance to go to Las Vegas. I should find out if I got through soon, but I doubt it, as I struggled with some of the games on the day so my knowledge let me down I think! This was an occasion when the ‘no expectations’ thing worked, as I was quite nervous about going to begin with as I usually hate stuff like that, and especially when my colleague backed out at the last minute so I had to go on my own. So I decided just not to worry, to just go with the flow and enjoy the chance to be away from work! In the end I knew someone else there anyway, and I even spoke quite easily to quite a few other people there and although some of the games were quite hard, on the whole I ended up quite enjoying it!

Miguel and I went to a Buddhist Chinese New Year celebration at the Buddhist temple that I do my Yoga at. It was very interesting and an unique experience. It was called a Dharma rite, which included a lot of chanting, and we could light candles for others. It was very beautiful.

For Valentines we went had a yummy lunch at The Railway Hotel.

I went to visit my mum and brother.

I had my circle meet up which was wonderful again! I had lots of new people this time, and had 8 people turn up! There was lots of very deep sharing and new friendships made. We had the theme of Psychic Abilities, and we played a fun game where we had to guess who’s object was who’s. We all did very well!

So overall mostly working again! In March, there will still be a lot of work and I’m likely to be running Rayleigh for a whole week! I also have a week off at the end though and Miguel has some projects coming up. I’m running a meditation workshop at the EDEN conference this month too.

 

 

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2016 Focus and Intentions

I never got around to writing a blog run-down of December but in brief there isn’t much to tell- it was mostly working, apart from a few social meet ups but not many.

As regular readers will know, my ‘official’ new year begins in October as I am a practising pagan, so I always set some goals then, but by the time the beginning of the calender year starts, I have thought of more.

So this is how I did with my goals for 2015:

Goals set in October 2014

To have regular healing clients- I had a few but yet to establish any regular people.

To get to Supervisor level in my job- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED! I’m not officially a supervisor (yet)! but I am trained as one so I can cover when needed. I’ve so far covered the Rayleigh store and my own store once. I’ll be getting plenty of practice as I will be covering Rayleigh on Thursdays and Fridays for a while, whilst the manager is recovering from surgery.

To finish my book- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED! I did finish it, although it’s not really that long at around 30 pages. My plan is to self publish it for free as an ebook.

To visit: Glastonbury, Gaunts House but my biggest aim is to go to the Three Wishes Faery Festival!- sadly didn’t manage any of these!

My key focuses-

Friendship- this improved a lot, I very rarely felt depressed about friendships in 2015. I feel very grateful to have some really amazing friends in my life now.

Fun- I definitely had more fun in 2015! It made such a big difference having a job I enjoy and feel comfortable with. I felt less stressed and more able to have fun!

Creativity and Inspiration- I did do some good writing in 2015 although still not as much as I would have liked. Photography became a new hobby, although I don’t take it that seriously, I just enjoy taking photos, I’m not interested in the technical side at all! Also- colouring!!

other stuff-

get involved with the green party- I attended one meeting, but I found that not that interesting so I decided it wasn’t for me. Although I still of course support them and I voted for them in the general election. I am kinda involved though as so many of my friends are involved with it!! I went to political protests so I did get involved in politics in a more active way.

try and get along to Street Spirit Southend- didn’t do this, I think the timing of the meetings don’t really fall right for me, although I do support them in other ways when I can.

spend less time on Facebook- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!! I spent March off Social media which made me rethink how I use it. So now although I still use it, I don’t read the entire feed. I also took both facebook and twitter away from my phone. I only have Instagram on there now, but I think that’s slightly better as it’s just photos and can be quite inspiring for recipes etc.

reconnect with my pagan/witchy side/go into nature more- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!! Definitely went into nature more and think I did connect more with that side of myself again.

watch less t.v- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!

Get into music again- to some extent yes, I went to two gigs ‘proper’ this year.

Okay so now it’s time to focus on 2016! I am changing from ‘Goals and Resolutions’- to ‘Intentions and Focus’ as I feel that has a better energy to it!

The goals I already set in October were:

  1. To learn more about nature- I love nature so much but I can’t name most of the trees, plants etc. I want to be able to walk in a park and know what the types of trees and plants are. I also want to learn about their uses, herbs and flowers. I learn some things at work but I want to go deeper, things like the Bach Flower remedies intrigue me.
  2. To heighten my Spiritual-related ‘work’- I don’t mean my meditations, rituals etc. My circle has gone amazingly well this year and got a lot bigger. I now really want to have healing work to do, and also run workshops, I ran an Inner Child workshop this year that I’m hoping to do again, and I’m also planning a Goddess workshop. I work part time and do overtime when I can, but I’d love to do part time at my ‘normal’ job and part time doing my spiritual related work.
  3. To get to Peru- planning to go to Peru next year for a retreat. It’s a big ask but I’m trusting the universe will provide us the means to go in some way!
  4. To honour the seasons and Full Moons more fully- use them as celebrations and time to enjoy. If I can’t have the full ‘holiday’ on the day itself due to work then I will celebrate it on the closest day off I have.

My Focus this year will be on:

KNOWLEDGE, HEALTH, MAGIC, SELF-CARE

Intentions-

To Cook more- try some of the recipes I see on places like Instagram.

Go to Yoga Classes- part of my self-care/health focus, I want to go to classes again rather than just doing at home as I don’t push myself enough at home. Aiming to go once a week but I know some weeks it may not be possible so as many times as I can in a month.

Walk more often- do longer walks when I go out, in warmer weather perhaps walk to work or home from work sometimes. Consider doing the Moonlight Colourthon again.

Take better self care- I’m great at taking care of myself spiritually and emotionally but physically I could do better. I don’t need to lose weight but I do want to feel fitter. I also need to make sure I have things done when I need them, not keep dodgy clothes, rest as much as I need to do, take care of my body,things like that.

Not to be affected by other people’s stories- not letting other’s emotions bring my own down.

Have no expectations- don’t have a preconceived idea of how something or someone will be, (good or bad), then there’s no room for disappointment or upset.

But on the other hand, also harness my manifestation skills, I think I am getting a lot better at this, so want to keep this up!

My friend Rae asked me the other day what writing goals I have, I’m not really sure I have any. maybe to publish the book and a collection of poetry I put together, but maybe if I have no specific goals, I might write more? We’ll see!

Wishing you all a most magical happy new year!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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dontbeanostrich

if you bury your head in the sand to avoid the rain youll never see the rainbow when the sun shines again

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