Moonlight Phoenix has risen

music, feminism, spirituality, words and more

Roxie

So it’s now been just over four months since our very dear cat Roxie went to the rainbow bridge. I’ve been wanting to blog about her for a long time since it happened, but it hit me hard and it’s taken me a long time to feel like I was at a space where I could write about her without feeling the pain. Don’t get me wrong, it still hurts, but the hurting is less as I’m now accepting that she is no longer part of our lives.

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I can’t remember the exact date we got Roxie, but I think I was about 20 years old when we got her (I’m nearly 33 now). She was a surprise. We were thinking of getting a cat but hadn’t really been looking properly just yet when my old school friend Leigh Anne one day turned up with this fluffy bundle at our doorstep and said she was ours. Roxie was a long haired tabby cat with an extremely fluffy tail that was like a squirrel’s. She didn’t have a name yet and Miguel let me choose. I was still doing my radio show ‘Pigtails and Army Boots’ at the time so I wanted to name her after a female musician, so I named her Roxie after the singer Roxy Saint.

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It was only a few months later that we got another cat, through a colleague of Miguel’s. Her cat had just had kittens and she was looking for new homes, knowing I would love a black cat, we went and picked one out. I remember her being a little shyer than the others, but we both decided she was the one. As I had named Roxie, Miguel could name this little bundle and she became Mitzi.

At first they didn’t get along at all! and we completely ignored the rule book and didn’t put them separate or anything. Eventually the scrapping died down and they became reluctant friends.

Roxie and Mitzi became part of the family.  If you wanted to be friends with us, you had to make friends with them too! Mitzi was (not so much now but more on that later) much her own cat, you couldn’t pick her up (apart from Miguel) and she rarely sat on laps, and was also very fussy about food. Roxie was the complete opposite. She loved attention, would jump on laps at any opportunity and loved her food!

I don’t know if it was because I named her or some coincidence but it always felt like somehow Roxie was more ‘my’ cat than Miguel’s. There was some bond there that I can’t explain.

Roxie and Mitzi were with us through all sorts of transitions, moving homes several times, difficult times, and good times including when we got married. I’ve never had children and this was the closest thing I’ve ever had.

A lot of people say that cats don’t care, are not very loving as so independent. My experience is different. Yes to some degree they are certainly independent and can take care of themselves, but our cats have always shown affection and love, and Roxie sure did.

It hit me so hard when she had to be put to sleep back in December, it really was like losing a family member. I’ve lost pets before, but this time it was different, Roxie was ‘mine’ not a family pet and we had watched her grow up, and unfortunately saw her get very ill right at the end. I’m so glad we could bury her in a lovely spot on Two Tree Island overlooking Hadleigh Castle. I’m also so grateful to our friend Sherry who helped us out so much that day.  I will always remember her for what a truly beautiful loving cat she was. Her chaos in the morning when food was imminent, her big fluffy tail and the many, many cuddles.

Mitzi is still with us of course and I think she misses Roxie somewhat still, she’s become much more of a lap cat now (although still not too fond of being picked up) and sometimes she cries in the night, (and is perfectly fine if we come to check). I’m not sure if it’s because she misses Roxie’s company (despite their love/hate relationship I think there was some level of love there) or whether she senses her spirit. She won’t sit in a certain spot where Roxie always used to sit, and sometimes we could swear we see her.

Wherever you are now Roxie, know that we will always remember and love you ❤

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A look back on 2016 and a look forward to 2017

In 2015 I was a bit early in posting this post, and now I’m late posting 2016. The truth is I have lots of blogs I need to write at the moment, but this is the first chance I’ve had and felt okay to do it. The last week of 2016 and the first week of 2017 have not been good to me. The light is starting to slowly coming back but the last two weeks have been really hard, and for the first time in a long time I’ve not been okay. We had to have one of our cats put to sleep so it started with grief which then morphed into a deep depression and even anger. I felt really alone. However I am now ready to admit I was in a bad place and now is time I can pick myself up again, as the only one who can really do this is me. I have to accept things won’t always be good but they won’t always be bad either. Life is slowly on the up again and one thing I can do to help me is write! So I will slowly start to catch up on my blogs again, as I have lots to say.

let’s start with a look back on 2016..

Music

still not as prominent as it has been in the past, I don’t think I made it to any gigs this year apart from one local one- seeing my friend Ruth’s band T Bitch at their Halloween show at the Railway Hotel, which was really awesome! (it involved one member arriving in a coffin and me standing on a chair in order to see)!

I didn’t buy any new music in 2016 although I did listen to Spotify a lot and tried to diversify my listening a bit by keeping an eye on new releases and checking out their recommended playlists. I don’t think I can really pinpoint anything new in this area.

Books

I set my challenge on Good Reads to read 50 books again, but I still didn’t quite reach it, I think I read 45 or 46 so I have set it for 47 this time.

I think the best books I read were at the end of the year after my Moon Mother training. I read both Red Moon and Female Energy Awakening by Miranda Gray (who trained me). They are about women’s cycles and how to live in harmony with them. They are helping me to change my life! But I will talk more on this in another blog, but I highly recommend them to all women!

Films and TV

I didn’t see any films at the cinema this year. I’m sure I must have watched some good films but I can’t recall any!

TV Wise- Humans was still very good and Black Mirror. Also enjoyed more nature documentaries like Planet Earth.

Photos/Moments/Things I did in 2016

attempted to write a poem a day, which was half successful as a lot of days I didn’t feel inspired by the prompts in the book I was working with!

Passed my Advanced product advisor test for work

Went to see Vampires Rock!

Took part in the first round of the ‘associate of the year’ for work

went to my first Buddhist ceremony

did a meditation workshop at the EDEN conference

Poetry reading at an allotment day twice

Went to Holland

took part in ’30 Days Wild’ in June

helped out at Tower Hill Sanctuary on my birthday

attended 3 Pig Save Vigils

became the supervisor for the Rayleigh store

held my first fire ceremony

went to Whitstable beach in kent

went to a sheep sanctuary

Restarted the Munay ki

went to the Retreat animal sanctuary

became a Moon Mother

went to Portugal

walked the Saffron Walden labrinyth

held my first worldwide womb blessing group, started giving womb healings

did healing at a shamanic weekend

Miguel surprised me with a shamanic wedding blessing ceremony

took part in a free hugs weekend

 

the most popular blogs I wrote in 2016

  1. 2016 Focus and Intentions
  2. dancing barefoot may 16
  3. Essex Pig save
  4. belated post: april poems for #shewritespoetry2016
  5. 30 Days Wild Week 2 (and a bit)

how I did with my goals and intentions in 2016:

learn more about nature- nature was a big theme of 2016 so a big fat yes. 30 days wild in June really helped too!

heighten my spiritual related work- yes although not in the way I hoped, still didn’t have regular clients (mostly I had none) but I did healing work at a retreat weekend and also can now more healings as I became a Moon Mother so can now do Womb Healings and Blessings, in addition to crystal healing.

get to Peru- not yet!

honour seasons and moon more fully- not to the extent I would have liked.

cook more- nope!

go to yoga classes- yes! apart from when I had the change of jobs and couldn’t go, I have been to a lot of classes in 2016.

walk more often- beginning part of the year yes but once changed job location not so much as no longer walking distance!

better self care- I think overall I was better at resting when I needed to, and I also went to the dentist, the optician and had my well overdue smear test

not to be affected by other people’s stories/no expectations- better with no expectations but still can be very affected by other people’s stories.

harness manifestation- yes, I went from a part time to a full time job and managed to manifest a lot of the ideas I had for my women’s circle this year too.

my focus was: Knowledge, health, magic and self care. I think there was a lot of all those things!

Now finally to move forward to 2017. (a week into it, lol)

My Focus this year is: Balance, Happiness, Divine Feminine

My intentions for this year (including those I set back in October on the witches new year)

  1. To Cook more- carrying this one over as I would like to do more with this when I can
  2. to have new experiences and visit new places
  3. to do more of what makes me happy
  4. to step fully into my role as a healer – reworded as still important to me. I love doing the healing work but I need people to come to me to heal!
  5. To do more activism again -would be great to fit in where I can for causes I feel passionate about
  6. be better at birthdays- I’ve had this before too, last year partly because of lack of money part of the year I wasn’t very good at it. This year I’d like to be more organised and thoughtful
  7. finish my lists!- I am a list hoarder and that won’t ever change. However I have lists on my phone with stuff that’s been on there for ages (things to buy etc) so I want to start getting rid of those things!
  8. Give up the Pill- I’ve been on the pill for about 18 years, I’ll go into this on my blog about womb healing/cycles more but now is the time to come off and change contraception method.I’ve got 3 months left so I will use those first, and that gives me time to explore my options
  9. Live to my cycle and educate others- as I’ve already briefly mentioned (and will go deeper in another post) I’ve been learning more about women’s cycles and it is really helping me to understand myself and other women better. I want to be able to live with this cyclic nature in mind. I also want to help other women to understand the nature of their cycle
  10. make more time for creativity- whatever that is- writing, colouring, collaging…just time to create, even if just for myself.

 

 

 

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Purity and Grace- November 2016

Sorry for such a delay in posting this, I was on holiday last week and this is the first chance I’ve had to properly post!

My key words for the year: Knowledge, health, magic and self care.

In November, I finally completed my Moon Mother training, so I am now able to do womb healings and blessings (more info further in post) so this certainly counts towards ‘Magic!’ and ‘Knowledge’. I’ve been going to yoga regularly again too so ‘health’ also applies.

My goals/intentions

To cook more- still not really

To go to Yoga classes- I went to two classes, as on week I had to work earlier and the other Monday left I was away!

walk more often- did a fair bit while away!

not to be affected by other people’s stories/no expectations- not so good at first part but not too bad at not having expectations

manifestation skills- finally got to the Moon Mother workshop 🙂

new intentions set on Samhain

to step fully into my role as a healer- now have completed Moon Mother training, which I’m hoping will be a big thing for me

to have new experiences and visit new places- went to see some new things while in Portugal, did the Moon Mother training, went to a different animal sanctuary, went to the St Matthews meditation group for the first time.

to do more activism- took part in a volunteer day at an animal sanctuary

to do more of what makes me happy- went to a meditation group, did yoga classes, went to an animal sanctuary, Moon Mother training, went to Portugal, ran my circle

What I got up to

There is a monthly meditation group that takes place at a local church I’ve been meaning to go for ages and in November our friend Gareth was doing a crystal meditation with clear quartz, so I went along to that.

I went with my friend Rosie and her boyfriend, and another new activist friend I met on that day called Matthew to the Retreat Animal Rescue in Kent for a volunteer day. It was quite a cold, dirty and hard work day but also filled with beautiful animals, so it was very rewarding and special. Can’t wait to visit again one day!

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The Moon Mother training I did was a full weekend in London which I had booked in to do over a year ago and it finally arrived. The training is done by Miranda Gray, who does the Worldwide Womb Blessings. It was the first time she has taught in the UK for four years so it was very special to get to be there and become one of many Moon Mothers around the world. Moon Mothers can help to send the energy during the Worldwide Womb Blessings as well as conducting personal womb blessings and healings for others. I am the moment running through a few ‘practice’ sessions of the womb healing and then I will be offering to the public for a set price, and then I will be doing the same with the Womb Blessings. It was a very special and emotional weekend, and I really felt this is something I am meant to do. Have a look at the links I have provided (clickable on selected words in this paragraph) to find out more or you can contact me directly and I will tell you all you need to know. If anything, I would highly recommend taking part in the Worldwide Womb Blessing, it’s free and deepens your connection to the Divine Feminine.

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I went to the 2nd part of my ‘redoing’ of the Munay Ki initations, and I did feel the energy a lot more this time.

I ran my circle, which was a small one in November with only 2 women attending, and was on the theme of ‘Emotional Sensitivity and Empathy’ and went very well.

We went to Portugal on the 28th, so we were there the remaining days of November and the beginning of December. On the Monday we stayed with Miguel’s dad, so it was a fairly relaxed day as we had a very early start, and then from Tuesday onwards we went and stayed in an apartment we rented from Air BnB which was small but well equipped. On the Tuesday, Miguel met up with a baby sitter from his childhood and then we met his sister and got to see her new jewellery studio which was very nice and had a coffee. We were still quite tired so there wasn’t much time to do much else.

Wednesday we got up really early so went out and walked by the river and saw lots of stone statues which were pretty cool, it was raining but we visited the Tower of Belem, and briefly saw the outside of a chapel called the Monastery of Jeronimos but it wasn’t quite open when we got there and there was a lot of gypsies trying to sell umbrellas so we didn’t stay long! We then went to a famous cafe where they make the traditional portugese cake Pastel de Nata,(and have been for years and years) which obviously I couldn’t have but Miguel did. We then met Inge (Miguel’s sister) for lunch at an organic supermarket place with a restaurant attached. We went back to the apartment for a bit before going back out later and it was like the centre had come alive, it was busy, lots of street performers, and even though we don’t celebrate Xmas, we enjoyed the lights and even did some silly photos! Then we went to a restaurant called Jardim das cerejas which was an all vegan buffett, which was nice but could have been a little warmer.

Will tell you the last 2 days of Portugal in my next month round up! 😉

Poems in November

A Beautiful Candle Dances Eternally Faithful gathering Hope in Joy Kisses Like Mountains Never Opening Pages Quite Right Sunshine Time Universal Very Whimsical yet Zealous

A cauldron of possibility, fresh like the stars, cinnamon and spice, dreams of something nice, Lunar landscapes, hiding within diamond shaped rooms, welcome to what’s in my head, or at least that’s what she said…

When the rain clears, I will be able to see you again, for now I cannot face the pain, of what that might bring, the fears, the tears, of what might happen when you are near, I don’t want to be hurt, I need the sunshine to come, to know it’s okay, and it will happen one day..

 

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30 Days Wild-Final Week and What I learnt

Day 23

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On Day 23 I looked into becoming what’s known as a citizen scientist. Citizen scientists help provide vital research and there’s lots of nature based projects to be found. I signed up for ‘Birdtrack’ and ‘Nature’s calendar’ I haven’t quite got it all sussed out yet but one is for bird spotting and the other is to record signs of season change.

Day 24

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On day 24, I walked through Churchill gardens on my way to work and tried to ‘spot a mammal’ and I did! Just about managed to catch this cutie before he scurried away!

Day 25

Day 25 was my birthday! and I had a ‘wild’ day! I spent it with some friends helping out Tower Hill Stables/animal sanctuary. We painted a fence for them and also got to spend a little time with the animals too! I really connected with the horses that day. They are sooo beautiful! Throughout the day in travel time I also saw an egret, wild rabbits, a pheasant and some birds of prey!

Day 26

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I had a bit of a ‘chill’ day after such an active day 25. So I decided to see what wildlife I could spot from our back window. I saw seagulls, collared doves, pigeons, sparrows, blackbirds, a few flies, a black cat, crows and magpies! Considering we live near a main road, we do spot some interesting wildlife sometimes. We have seen jays in our car park before! and yesterday my partner saw a Sparrow hawk on our balcony!

Day 27

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on Day 27, I went to my first ‘Essex Pig Save’ vigil. I will probably be writing a blog all about this at some point, but it was outside a local slaughterhouse. The purpose of the vigil is to ‘bear witness’ to the pigs. We hope to stop some of the vans so that for just a moment, we can provide comfort to the pigs but also document it so people can see the reality behind their meat. It was a sad day but important to do and I’ll be doing it again.

Day 28

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Day 28 my random act of wildness was to watch the daisies in the garden to see how they change through the day. The top photo was at 11am and the second was at 7pm.

Day 29

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On day 29 I did some cloud watching. I thought it might be interesting to try to identify the type of cloud. I think this was ‘alto-cumulus’ but not sure!

Day 30

As today was the last day I thought I’d try to squeeze in as many ‘wild’ places as possible! I went to Prittle brook, Growing Together Westcliff Garden, Priory Park and Churchill Gardens. I spotted lots of wild life as you can see!

So before I started 30 days wild I did feel very connected to nature anyway but afterwards I feel even more connected! I started to learn more about the wildlife I see, including more names of things and I did some things I wouldn’t have thought to do before like looking underneath a log and watching where a bumblebee goes! I made even more of a point of going for walks and admiring what’s around me. It has reawakened my passion for activism again too!

This was a wonderful challenge that I’d tell everyone to do. It really helps you to see what magic there is around you and almost everything I did was free!

Now I pledge to Stay Wild and be wild 365 days a year 😀

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30 Days Wild Week 3

Day 17

On day 17, I tried to identify bird song. I could hear plenty of it but couldn’t see what birds were making it! The only ones I did identify were the easy ones that I could see which were crows and ducks! I put a video on Instagram and a friend managed to identify a blue tit, black bird, collared dove and sparrows.

Day 18

For day 18, I went to the Southend Animal Aid meeting for the first time in years so it was a day of ‘wild’ planning. I’m going to help at an animal sanctuary this weekend and next week going to a vigil for slaughterhouse pigs.

Day 19

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On day 19, I watched a bumblebee. I watched as it flew flower to flower pollinating. I found interesting that it was ignoring all the daisies, but going to all the white clover instead. (another flower I now know the name of- yay)!

Day 20

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Day 20 was a special day as it was the Summer Solstice AND the full moon! So I did some moon watching. Too difficult to get a good photo of though.

Day 21

DSC_0002Yesterday I re-did my altar as I always do for the seasons but this time I turned into a full ‘nature table’ with lots of treasures I have found in the wild- feathers, shells, conkers etc. And one of my nan’s paintings as the backdrop.

Day 22

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Today I was given some seed bombs, so I’ve put one on our balcony so we can see it grow, and I will plant the other along the brook.

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30 Days Wild Week 2 (and a bit)

Week two of 30 days wild is over, here’s the ‘Random Acts of Wildness’ I’ve been up to since my last post. In case you missed it, you can find it here

Day 10

On Day 10, I took a slightly different route to work, by going through my favourite park Churchill gardens on the way 🙂

Day 11

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On day 11, I spent time sitting outside on my balcony reading with the cats for company 🙂

Day 12

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tried to identify a wild flower. I discovered these pretty white flowers are called Cow Parsley. We have lots of it along the brook.

Day 13

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I thought I had gone a day without doing anything ‘wild’! Then I realised I signed this petition to help get the Peacocks at Chalkwell park freed. Please sign it too by going here

Day 14

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On Day 14 I attempted to watch the sunset from the balcony. Couldn’t quite see it in full as the houses were in the way, but look at the pretty clouds!

Day 15

Day off yesterday so another walk in Churchill Gardens. This time for my ‘random act of wildness’ I lifted up a fallen tree trunk to see the life underneath and there was a lot! Didn’t manage to get a decent photo of the insects but the pictures in the middle are what it looked like underneath, look how amazing the patterns are, isn’t nature wonderful??

We also had a moth come visit us. She was on our compost bin. We moved her to the plants on our balcony and she stayed all day. She was only gone this morning. A visit from the ancestors…?

Day 16

and that brings us up to date to today…

Today I downloaded the Wildlife Trust’s ‘Nature Finder’ App and I love it already. I managed to identify two of these wild flowers using it. The first one is ‘Mallow’ and the second one is ‘ragwort’

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30 Days Wild- Week 1 (and a bit)

Many of my regular readers will know, I am a bit of a project/challenge addict! I nearly always have something on the go, this year it has been all about Instagram photo challenges. I kept thinking “I won’t do one this month” and I’d keep finding one that sounded fun or interesting! Then for this month June, I found something which could still involve taking photos every day (and I have), but also had a bit more behind it. A friend of mine posted on Twitter about a project started by The Wildlife Trusts called “30 Days Wild”

The idea behind it is simple, to help us form a stronger connection to nature. Every day in June you do something ‘wild’, something that involves nature or wildlife in some way, and it can be big or small, and take 5 minutes or a whole day. When you signed up they sent you a kit with ideas of things you could do each day, that range from ‘research facts about your favourite animal’ to ‘see how many species you can spot in an hour’ and more. As a nature lover, this project sounded awesome and fun. I don’t really need more connection to nature, but one of my goals this year was to learn more about nature, as I don’t know many names of trees, flowers, animals etc that I’m always admiring and this seemed like a perfect way of incorporating that! So I’ve been posting a photo about the project every day on Instagram and I thought it would be nice to do a weekly blog on what I’ve been doing, so here’s the first one!

Day One

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On Day One, I was working for most of the day so I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I looked at my email with the 30 days wild ‘wild cards’ but none of them really inspired me. I then saw this also had an app, with at least 100 ideas on there, so I downloaded that to my phone and had a look for something that could fit in with my day. I picked ‘Watch an insect, see how they move’, thinking on my walk to work I was likely to see something. It was dry when I left so I though I’d be alright, but after walking for 5 minutes, it started to rain, just lightly at first and then full on chucking it down! I had already got my momentum so I thought I might as well just carry on, what a way to start my 30 days wild! I don’t often walk in the rain. I still looked for insects but I didn’t see any. However I did see many, many snails! Later on I decided to look up about snails and learnt that they are not insects but are molluscs, so more closely related to shellfish. I found various reasons cited for why they always come out after rain so I’m not sure which is true, things like to escape from drowning or that they can breathe easier…answers on a postcard please!

Day Two

Day two was a bit of a strange one. I had a day off, and the weather was dryer. So I decided to ‘explore a local park’. I thought I would go to a different one than my usual spots, so I went to Chalkwell park, which although is okay, I don’t enjoy it as much as Priory park or Churchill gardens. On this day I didn’t really enjoy it. Sadly, there are four peacocks in an enclosure in the park, which straight away made me feel sad. They have hardly any space in there and aren’t released into the open at all, never mind the fact they are wild animals not destined to live in a space like this. I could feel the depression from them.

I then walked around the park a bit and there are some beautiful old trees there. Sadly every one I saw had been graffitied on and there was an awful amount of litter around the park, even in the more ‘wild’ spots of the park. I left feeling sad but feeling determined to do something more to make this park a nicer place to visit and see what I could do to help those peacocks.

Day Three

Day three I went for ‘find mini wildness’ so while out and about to look for plants coming through on pavements and such like. I found lots!  It’s nice to see nature really is everywhere 🙂

Day Four

On day four I went to the Southend Vegans meet up in Chalkwell park for a picnic! It had been a bit touch and go whether it would go ahead as it had been predicted to rain all the week and still looked dodgy in the morning but it turned out to be perfect in the end. I had some lovely vegan food including Rocky Road! and as well as seeing some of my lovely friends I also met some cool new people. I only took a silly selfie and it was so silly I didn’t keep it on my phone so no photo for Day 4 on here!  I was too preoccupied to take photos!

Day Five

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This photo wasn’t taken on this day but about a week before. On this day I was working all day so I researched facts about one of my favourite animals- the Squirrel! I learnt a few new things- 1. there are over 265 species of squirrel 2. they sometimes put on bogus food burying displays to fool potential thieves 3. They can smell food under a foot of snow 4. their front teeth never stop growing.

Day Six

Oops another one where I didn’t keep the photo. For day 6, I watched the Springwatch live wildlife cameras for a little while. At first there were lots of sleeping birds but with a little patience there was cute activity. My favourites were the bluetits. Every time the mum would come to feed them they would chirp away in this cute little chorus. A few days later I saw on the program that they were actually Great Tit chicks that a Bluetit was taking caring of! (I didn’t quite catch how that happened)

Day Seven

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For day seven I did a little bit of bird watching on my way to work. I saw blackbirds, seagulls, pigeons, sparrows, wood pigeons and crows including this one seen above. I really enjoying watching the birds as anyone that knows me will attest to! 🙂

It’s taken me a while to write this blog so it’s now a little longer than a week !

Day Eight

A day off and a really lovely sunny day, a perfect day to go to Priory park and see how many animals I could spot! Just some of the things I saw (there were some I don’t know names of): Blackbirds, squirrel, wood pigeons, brown and blue butterflies, crows, mallard ducks, blackhead seagulls, coot, flies, midges, small black fish, magpie, bumblebee, other bees, blue dragonflies, ladybird, big fish (it was underwater so couldn’t make it out) and a rat. It was so nice to see a lot of people enjoying the outdoors! There were lots of people with their young children and people taking photos etc. I took some lettuce to feed the ducks but they weren’t at all interested! Too used to being fed bread which is bad for them I guess 😦 Really lovely hour of magical nature! (also forgot to mention on my way to the park I saw a goldfinch! I had never seen one before, shame I didn’t manage to get a photo, it was so pretty)

Day Nine (today)

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Another visit to Priory Park, but a shorter one. Took the remaining lettuce and managed to get a few of the ducks and a coot to eat some at last!! My activity for the day was to take a blue photo, so I took the above of some flowers I saw.

Looking forward to what other adventures this will lead to!

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Spirit Will Always Follow (Holland 2016)

Wherever you are
Spirit will always follow
What ever you do
Spirit will always follow
As you walk
Spirit will walk with you
If you run
Spirit will run alongside you
If you fall
Spirit will pick you up
If you cry
Spirit will wipe your tears
When you smile
Spirit will add that extra sparkle
when you laugh
Spirit will laugh with you
When you pray
whether it’s in a church or a forest
Spirit will listen
Spirit will guide
Spirit will show you the way
You just have to open your heart and allow her in
It’s not always easy
but it’s always possible
if you trust
it’ll all be all right in the end
a rainbow will appear
from the dark clouds
spirit will take care of you
if you also take care of yourself
Spirit will always follow
wherever you are
whatever you do
Spirit will always follow.

This poem is inspired by our recent trip to Holland. Let me explain why..

When you live a spiritual life, your eyes are always open to signs and divinity in everyday life. Before I went away I felt I couldn’t bring any of my spiritual items such as my spiritual journal, oracle cards etc, even though I usually do try to keep up my spiritual routine to some extent. This time I thought perhaps I felt like this because I needed to take a break. It became clear in less than 24 hours after landing that this wouldn’t be the case.

The first night we stayed with my in laws, near Assen, a more country side area of the country. They are highly spiritual people so there was always going to be some element of it while we stayed with them. There was a lot very deep talking and clearing, which was mostly connected with my husband. But also they gave us both some very beautiful gifts, which were spiritually minded items so we ended up having spiritual ‘stuff’ anyway! It was on this day that I suddenly made the connection that I had been getting a lot of signs about unicorns, which had been topped off when they gave me a book about unicorns. I had an unicorn healing attunement quite some time ago now, and although I worked with it a little after that, I didn’t continue to do any more. Before we went away there had been connections with unicorns coming up, and it just kept coming, and it still is! On the day I got the book I read a small bit of the book that talked about unicorn signs, and how it’s a sign for you to work with them, so I have been working quite intensely with them since we got back. We also had a beautiful moment there when we went for a walk to the nearby pond and were delighted with seeing a coot and her babies!  What a divine moment!

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On day two, it was mostly travelling to The Hague where we were staying for the rest of our break and relaxing. We saw another beautiful area- the Palace Gardens.

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Day 3 was the best day! Miguel showed me where he used to live and then we went to Zuiderpark which was absolutely huge and beautiful. But before we even saw much of it there is a city farm there which Miguel used to go to as a child and I fell in love. It wasn’t a regular farm, no meat or dairy produced, but a free educational farm where children can go to learn about nature, taking care of animals and having respect for living beings. You could buy a cup of food to feed the animals so we had lots of fun feeding them, especially the cheeky goats who would practically jump over the gate! We then went into the main enclosure, where I cuddled a beautiful gentle one eyed cow and stroked lots of lambs, sheep, pigs and of course goats! I honestly feel so happy being around animals I had trouble being pulled away and I had tears in my eyes feeling emotional!

Afterwards we had a look at some more of the park, and Miguel showed me a special tree where his granddad used to tell him gnomes lived.

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We went back to the area near the hotel to have lunch and next door to our hotel was the church where Miguel’s parents got married, so we decided to go inside. I wasn’t sure how I would feel, as a pagan, I can feel a bit uncomfortable but actually when we walked in, it was beautiful and there people inside praying and I only felt calm. We both sat down and made a prayer ourselves. Then we saw a section where you could light a candle offering in front of a choice of saints/important Christian figures. Even though we both didn’t know anything about him, we both felt compelled to make an offering to St.Anthony. Before we left we cleansed our hands with holy water. When we left we looked up St.Anthony who turns out to have a strong connection with Portugal (which is important to Miguel as he is half Portuguese) but also is connected with animals and the vulnerable, which I felt was relevant to me and connected a lot to the prayer I had made!

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We also went into a shop with all Navajo and Hopi tribe items and then in the afternoon decided to go to the coast. The weather had been a mix of rain and sun, it was fine when we left but sadly turned when we got there, it was so windy and wet we didn’t stay as long as we had hoped. I wanted to go near the water and the wind was so bad, it was like we were getting blown away! But I got near a puddle, put my hand in it and felt energy run all through me.

So on that day we were in touch with all the elements- Earth- the park and trees there, fire- candles in church, water- the sea, air- the massive wind at the coast and Spirit- praying in a church.

Sunday was our last day, we went to see some of Miguel’s friends in Haarlem, then had a stop in Amsterdam which was mostly disappointing as was so busy and not much to look at, but we visited the Kuan Yin shrine again, which was still wonderful. We both made prayers there as well, made offerings to Kuan Yin and read a long prayer they had printed to use as well.

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Although short, was my favourite trip to Holland yet. No plans to be spiritual particularly, but Spirit will always follow…

 

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2016 Focus and Intentions

I never got around to writing a blog run-down of December but in brief there isn’t much to tell- it was mostly working, apart from a few social meet ups but not many.

As regular readers will know, my ‘official’ new year begins in October as I am a practising pagan, so I always set some goals then, but by the time the beginning of the calender year starts, I have thought of more.

So this is how I did with my goals for 2015:

Goals set in October 2014

To have regular healing clients- I had a few but yet to establish any regular people.

To get to Supervisor level in my job- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED! I’m not officially a supervisor (yet)! but I am trained as one so I can cover when needed. I’ve so far covered the Rayleigh store and my own store once. I’ll be getting plenty of practice as I will be covering Rayleigh on Thursdays and Fridays for a while, whilst the manager is recovering from surgery.

To finish my book- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED! I did finish it, although it’s not really that long at around 30 pages. My plan is to self publish it for free as an ebook.

To visit: Glastonbury, Gaunts House but my biggest aim is to go to the Three Wishes Faery Festival!- sadly didn’t manage any of these!

My key focuses-

Friendship- this improved a lot, I very rarely felt depressed about friendships in 2015. I feel very grateful to have some really amazing friends in my life now.

Fun- I definitely had more fun in 2015! It made such a big difference having a job I enjoy and feel comfortable with. I felt less stressed and more able to have fun!

Creativity and Inspiration- I did do some good writing in 2015 although still not as much as I would have liked. Photography became a new hobby, although I don’t take it that seriously, I just enjoy taking photos, I’m not interested in the technical side at all! Also- colouring!!

other stuff-

get involved with the green party- I attended one meeting, but I found that not that interesting so I decided it wasn’t for me. Although I still of course support them and I voted for them in the general election. I am kinda involved though as so many of my friends are involved with it!! I went to political protests so I did get involved in politics in a more active way.

try and get along to Street Spirit Southend- didn’t do this, I think the timing of the meetings don’t really fall right for me, although I do support them in other ways when I can.

spend less time on Facebook- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!! I spent March off Social media which made me rethink how I use it. So now although I still use it, I don’t read the entire feed. I also took both facebook and twitter away from my phone. I only have Instagram on there now, but I think that’s slightly better as it’s just photos and can be quite inspiring for recipes etc.

reconnect with my pagan/witchy side/go into nature more- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!! Definitely went into nature more and think I did connect more with that side of myself again.

watch less t.v- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!

Get into music again- to some extent yes, I went to two gigs ‘proper’ this year.

Okay so now it’s time to focus on 2016! I am changing from ‘Goals and Resolutions’- to ‘Intentions and Focus’ as I feel that has a better energy to it!

The goals I already set in October were:

  1. To learn more about nature- I love nature so much but I can’t name most of the trees, plants etc. I want to be able to walk in a park and know what the types of trees and plants are. I also want to learn about their uses, herbs and flowers. I learn some things at work but I want to go deeper, things like the Bach Flower remedies intrigue me.
  2. To heighten my Spiritual-related ‘work’- I don’t mean my meditations, rituals etc. My circle has gone amazingly well this year and got a lot bigger. I now really want to have healing work to do, and also run workshops, I ran an Inner Child workshop this year that I’m hoping to do again, and I’m also planning a Goddess workshop. I work part time and do overtime when I can, but I’d love to do part time at my ‘normal’ job and part time doing my spiritual related work.
  3. To get to Peru- planning to go to Peru next year for a retreat. It’s a big ask but I’m trusting the universe will provide us the means to go in some way!
  4. To honour the seasons and Full Moons more fully- use them as celebrations and time to enjoy. If I can’t have the full ‘holiday’ on the day itself due to work then I will celebrate it on the closest day off I have.

My Focus this year will be on:

KNOWLEDGE, HEALTH, MAGIC, SELF-CARE

Intentions-

To Cook more- try some of the recipes I see on places like Instagram.

Go to Yoga Classes- part of my self-care/health focus, I want to go to classes again rather than just doing at home as I don’t push myself enough at home. Aiming to go once a week but I know some weeks it may not be possible so as many times as I can in a month.

Walk more often- do longer walks when I go out, in warmer weather perhaps walk to work or home from work sometimes. Consider doing the Moonlight Colourthon again.

Take better self care- I’m great at taking care of myself spiritually and emotionally but physically I could do better. I don’t need to lose weight but I do want to feel fitter. I also need to make sure I have things done when I need them, not keep dodgy clothes, rest as much as I need to do, take care of my body,things like that.

Not to be affected by other people’s stories- not letting other’s emotions bring my own down.

Have no expectations- don’t have a preconceived idea of how something or someone will be, (good or bad), then there’s no room for disappointment or upset.

But on the other hand, also harness my manifestation skills, I think I am getting a lot better at this, so want to keep this up!

My friend Rae asked me the other day what writing goals I have, I’m not really sure I have any. maybe to publish the book and a collection of poetry I put together, but maybe if I have no specific goals, I might write more? We’ll see!

Wishing you all a most magical happy new year!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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November 2015

I quietened things down a little in November…but that didn’t stop me still having adventures!

I did another photo project on Instagram called ‘Crystal Allies November’ which was a really lovely one. If you’re on Instagram, you can find me there as moonlight.phoenix I haven’t found any for December so it probably won’t be quite so active, but I do taking photos so I’m sure there will still be fairly regular updates!

here’s how November went in term of my goals for the year…

FRIENDSHIP- didn’t see people quite as often this month, but the times I did were lovely.

FUN- I had fun at Witchfest, doing laughter yoga!

CREATIVITY AND INSPIRATION- more photography BUT I did also take part in a creative writing workshop, and I’ve got a few other pieces to work on, and I did create this poem

and this is how the first month of my new intentions from Samhain 2015- to Samhain 2016 has went-

To Learn more about nature- I’ve been for a few lovely walks, and have got people to help me learn the names of some of the birds I’ve taken photos of

To heighten my spiritual ‘work’- no work sadly, but did promote a few times via Facebook, and did a swap with my friend who said she will tell others

To get to Peru- well I got the time off okayed from work, so that’s a start!

To honour the full moon and seasons more fully- I did a full ritual for the first time in a while for the full moon and have started doing readings for myself on the new moon.

and finally what I actually got up to!

I went to the Inspiring Women meeting as always, and it was our 2nd birthday so it was a fun one (well not that isn’t usually!) this time we played a game where we had to go round each person and first introduce ourselves as if we had never met as we are now, then we had to do it again but this time us in five years time. I wasn’t sure what to say different the second time apart from a few things, but by the time I had completed the circle, I had somehow earnt myself a healing retreat!

I did my first stint as a trained supervisor! I had to run the Rayleigh store for a day and despite my nerves it went really well. I also had to close there on another day that week but that time the whole system went down so not one of our stores could ‘officially’ close the store! Funny enough, that was Friday 13th.

I went to the second of the new Southend Essex Feminist Collective meetings, and it was really good. There were speakers from a few of the local domestic abuse services and a local Rape Crisis. It was pretty grim in terms of the severe lack of funding they get, and also the very real lack of convictions also.

I went to Witchfest, which was worthy of a blog of it’s own, which you can find here

I did a healing for my friend who did me reiki last month, and it went very well.

I met up with my friend Lauren for lunch, where we despaired the lack of quick and easy vegan lunch options in town. We ended up getting the last 2 vegan items in Boots, and mine although nice was very minimal and left me feeling still hungry. (it was a salad)

I did the creative writing workshop which was really good, we did different types of writing, and weren’t made to feel under pressure and we didn’t have to read them all out. There was only one exercise I didn’t write anything worthwhile, but the rest will be good I think. There was then an open mic night in the evening by the same people, so I read a few poems there. If you don’t already know of Sundown Arts, then you really should check them out

Then finally, yesterday was my circle, which this time was on the theme of career/jobs and was lovely as always.

 

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