Moonlight Phoenix has risen

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A look back on 2016 and a look forward to 2017

In 2015 I was a bit early in posting this post, and now I’m late posting 2016. The truth is I have lots of blogs I need to write at the moment, but this is the first chance I’ve had and felt okay to do it. The last week of 2016 and the first week of 2017 have not been good to me. The light is starting to slowly coming back but the last two weeks have been really hard, and for the first time in a long time I’ve not been okay. We had to have one of our cats put to sleep so it started with grief which then morphed into a deep depression and even anger. I felt really alone. However I am now ready to admit I was in a bad place and now is time I can pick myself up again, as the only one who can really do this is me. I have to accept things won’t always be good but they won’t always be bad either. Life is slowly on the up again and one thing I can do to help me is write! So I will slowly start to catch up on my blogs again, as I have lots to say.

let’s start with a look back on 2016..

Music

still not as prominent as it has been in the past, I don’t think I made it to any gigs this year apart from one local one- seeing my friend Ruth’s band T Bitch at their Halloween show at the Railway Hotel, which was really awesome! (it involved one member arriving in a coffin and me standing on a chair in order to see)!

I didn’t buy any new music in 2016 although I did listen to Spotify a lot and tried to diversify my listening a bit by keeping an eye on new releases and checking out their recommended playlists. I don’t think I can really pinpoint anything new in this area.

Books

I set my challenge on Good Reads to read 50 books again, but I still didn’t quite reach it, I think I read 45 or 46 so I have set it for 47 this time.

I think the best books I read were at the end of the year after my Moon Mother training. I read both Red Moon and Female Energy Awakening by Miranda Gray (who trained me). They are about women’s cycles and how to live in harmony with them. They are helping me to change my life! But I will talk more on this in another blog, but I highly recommend them to all women!

Films and TV

I didn’t see any films at the cinema this year. I’m sure I must have watched some good films but I can’t recall any!

TV Wise- Humans was still very good and Black Mirror. Also enjoyed more nature documentaries like Planet Earth.

Photos/Moments/Things I did in 2016

attempted to write a poem a day, which was half successful as a lot of days I didn’t feel inspired by the prompts in the book I was working with!

Passed my Advanced product advisor test for work

Went to see Vampires Rock!

Took part in the first round of the ‘associate of the year’ for work

went to my first Buddhist ceremony

did a meditation workshop at the EDEN conference

Poetry reading at an allotment day twice

Went to Holland

took part in ’30 Days Wild’ in June

helped out at Tower Hill Sanctuary on my birthday

attended 3 Pig Save Vigils

became the supervisor for the Rayleigh store

held my first fire ceremony

went to Whitstable beach in kent

went to a sheep sanctuary

Restarted the Munay ki

went to the Retreat animal sanctuary

became a Moon Mother

went to Portugal

walked the Saffron Walden labrinyth

held my first worldwide womb blessing group, started giving womb healings

did healing at a shamanic weekend

Miguel surprised me with a shamanic wedding blessing ceremony

took part in a free hugs weekend

 

the most popular blogs I wrote in 2016

  1. 2016 Focus and Intentions
  2. dancing barefoot may 16
  3. Essex Pig save
  4. belated post: april poems for #shewritespoetry2016
  5. 30 Days Wild Week 2 (and a bit)

how I did with my goals and intentions in 2016:

learn more about nature- nature was a big theme of 2016 so a big fat yes. 30 days wild in June really helped too!

heighten my spiritual related work- yes although not in the way I hoped, still didn’t have regular clients (mostly I had none) but I did healing work at a retreat weekend and also can now more healings as I became a Moon Mother so can now do Womb Healings and Blessings, in addition to crystal healing.

get to Peru- not yet!

honour seasons and moon more fully- not to the extent I would have liked.

cook more- nope!

go to yoga classes- yes! apart from when I had the change of jobs and couldn’t go, I have been to a lot of classes in 2016.

walk more often- beginning part of the year yes but once changed job location not so much as no longer walking distance!

better self care- I think overall I was better at resting when I needed to, and I also went to the dentist, the optician and had my well overdue smear test

not to be affected by other people’s stories/no expectations- better with no expectations but still can be very affected by other people’s stories.

harness manifestation- yes, I went from a part time to a full time job and managed to manifest a lot of the ideas I had for my women’s circle this year too.

my focus was: Knowledge, health, magic and self care. I think there was a lot of all those things!

Now finally to move forward to 2017. (a week into it, lol)

My Focus this year is: Balance, Happiness, Divine Feminine

My intentions for this year (including those I set back in October on the witches new year)

  1. To Cook more- carrying this one over as I would like to do more with this when I can
  2. to have new experiences and visit new places
  3. to do more of what makes me happy
  4. to step fully into my role as a healer – reworded as still important to me. I love doing the healing work but I need people to come to me to heal!
  5. To do more activism again -would be great to fit in where I can for causes I feel passionate about
  6. be better at birthdays- I’ve had this before too, last year partly because of lack of money part of the year I wasn’t very good at it. This year I’d like to be more organised and thoughtful
  7. finish my lists!- I am a list hoarder and that won’t ever change. However I have lists on my phone with stuff that’s been on there for ages (things to buy etc) so I want to start getting rid of those things!
  8. Give up the Pill- I’ve been on the pill for about 18 years, I’ll go into this on my blog about womb healing/cycles more but now is the time to come off and change contraception method.I’ve got 3 months left so I will use those first, and that gives me time to explore my options
  9. Live to my cycle and educate others- as I’ve already briefly mentioned (and will go deeper in another post) I’ve been learning more about women’s cycles and it is really helping me to understand myself and other women better. I want to be able to live with this cyclic nature in mind. I also want to help other women to understand the nature of their cycle
  10. make more time for creativity- whatever that is- writing, colouring, collaging…just time to create, even if just for myself.

 

 

 

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Purity and Grace- November 2016

Sorry for such a delay in posting this, I was on holiday last week and this is the first chance I’ve had to properly post!

My key words for the year: Knowledge, health, magic and self care.

In November, I finally completed my Moon Mother training, so I am now able to do womb healings and blessings (more info further in post) so this certainly counts towards ‘Magic!’ and ‘Knowledge’. I’ve been going to yoga regularly again too so ‘health’ also applies.

My goals/intentions

To cook more- still not really

To go to Yoga classes- I went to two classes, as on week I had to work earlier and the other Monday left I was away!

walk more often- did a fair bit while away!

not to be affected by other people’s stories/no expectations- not so good at first part but not too bad at not having expectations

manifestation skills- finally got to the Moon Mother workshop 🙂

new intentions set on Samhain

to step fully into my role as a healer- now have completed Moon Mother training, which I’m hoping will be a big thing for me

to have new experiences and visit new places- went to see some new things while in Portugal, did the Moon Mother training, went to a different animal sanctuary, went to the St Matthews meditation group for the first time.

to do more activism- took part in a volunteer day at an animal sanctuary

to do more of what makes me happy- went to a meditation group, did yoga classes, went to an animal sanctuary, Moon Mother training, went to Portugal, ran my circle

What I got up to

There is a monthly meditation group that takes place at a local church I’ve been meaning to go for ages and in November our friend Gareth was doing a crystal meditation with clear quartz, so I went along to that.

I went with my friend Rosie and her boyfriend, and another new activist friend I met on that day called Matthew to the Retreat Animal Rescue in Kent for a volunteer day. It was quite a cold, dirty and hard work day but also filled with beautiful animals, so it was very rewarding and special. Can’t wait to visit again one day!

retreat23

The Moon Mother training I did was a full weekend in London which I had booked in to do over a year ago and it finally arrived. The training is done by Miranda Gray, who does the Worldwide Womb Blessings. It was the first time she has taught in the UK for four years so it was very special to get to be there and become one of many Moon Mothers around the world. Moon Mothers can help to send the energy during the Worldwide Womb Blessings as well as conducting personal womb blessings and healings for others. I am the moment running through a few ‘practice’ sessions of the womb healing and then I will be offering to the public for a set price, and then I will be doing the same with the Womb Blessings. It was a very special and emotional weekend, and I really felt this is something I am meant to do. Have a look at the links I have provided (clickable on selected words in this paragraph) to find out more or you can contact me directly and I will tell you all you need to know. If anything, I would highly recommend taking part in the Worldwide Womb Blessing, it’s free and deepens your connection to the Divine Feminine.

moonmother

I went to the 2nd part of my ‘redoing’ of the Munay Ki initations, and I did feel the energy a lot more this time.

I ran my circle, which was a small one in November with only 2 women attending, and was on the theme of ‘Emotional Sensitivity and Empathy’ and went very well.

We went to Portugal on the 28th, so we were there the remaining days of November and the beginning of December. On the Monday we stayed with Miguel’s dad, so it was a fairly relaxed day as we had a very early start, and then from Tuesday onwards we went and stayed in an apartment we rented from Air BnB which was small but well equipped. On the Tuesday, Miguel met up with a baby sitter from his childhood and then we met his sister and got to see her new jewellery studio which was very nice and had a coffee. We were still quite tired so there wasn’t much time to do much else.

Wednesday we got up really early so went out and walked by the river and saw lots of stone statues which were pretty cool, it was raining but we visited the Tower of Belem, and briefly saw the outside of a chapel called the Monastery of Jeronimos but it wasn’t quite open when we got there and there was a lot of gypsies trying to sell umbrellas so we didn’t stay long! We then went to a famous cafe where they make the traditional portugese cake Pastel de Nata,(and have been for years and years) which obviously I couldn’t have but Miguel did. We then met Inge (Miguel’s sister) for lunch at an organic supermarket place with a restaurant attached. We went back to the apartment for a bit before going back out later and it was like the centre had come alive, it was busy, lots of street performers, and even though we don’t celebrate Xmas, we enjoyed the lights and even did some silly photos! Then we went to a restaurant called Jardim das cerejas which was an all vegan buffett, which was nice but could have been a little warmer.

Will tell you the last 2 days of Portugal in my next month round up! 😉

Poems in November

A Beautiful Candle Dances Eternally Faithful gathering Hope in Joy Kisses Like Mountains Never Opening Pages Quite Right Sunshine Time Universal Very Whimsical yet Zealous

A cauldron of possibility, fresh like the stars, cinnamon and spice, dreams of something nice, Lunar landscapes, hiding within diamond shaped rooms, welcome to what’s in my head, or at least that’s what she said…

When the rain clears, I will be able to see you again, for now I cannot face the pain, of what that might bring, the fears, the tears, of what might happen when you are near, I don’t want to be hurt, I need the sunshine to come, to know it’s okay, and it will happen one day..

 

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October 2016 and Witches New Year (looking back then forward again)

Okay so let’s start with how the year ended for me..how did October go?

My key words for the year: Knowledge, health, magic and self care. With regards to health and self care, I have been able to start attending yoga again, and I also went to my dentist 6 month check up.

My goals/Intentions

To heighten my spiritual work- no clients 😦

To get to Peru- nope

To honour seasons and moon more fully- I did my usual things on New moon and full moon, and I think I did celebrate Samhain fully. I got to wear fancy dress at work, I went to a Halloween themed gig, hosted my women’s circle on the night, and today went to visit my nan’s grave and I’ve also done my big reading for the year ahead

To cook more- nope

to go to Yoga classes- went to 3 classes this month, yay!

walk more often- still been doing longer walks on days off

not to be effected by other people’s stories/no expectations- think I’ve mostly been okay with this

manifestation skills- can’t think of anything specific

What I got up to

I went to an open day at a local yoga studio, I got to try a sample ‘anti aging’ class which I didn’t really like as it was far too energetic for Yoga, it even involved star jumps! I also tried a meditation session (relaxing) and a drumming and chanting session which was great, saw lots of friends there too which was nice.

I went to visit my friend Sherry and meet her newest additions- two adorable kittens! 🙂

I went along to the Munay Ki part one workshop Miguel ran in London because I’ve decided to try again with Munay Ki, as I didn’t feel I was getting the full benefit of it despite receiving it over a year ago, but it was when Miguel was first doing it and was all in one go. So hopefully this time I can integrate the rites better and get more out of it.

Went to see my friend’s band ‘T Bitch‘ at the Railway Hotel for Halloween and they were awesome!

Poems

Making Love to the Moon

Oh beautiful moon
Odd, how you make my heart go boom
Of all the sights
You open my mind to new heights
Your gentle glow reminds me every thing’s okay
You inspire me with what to say
On a full moon night
I’m guided by your light
We flow together like the ocean and it’s tides
Knowing each phase brings out our different sides
We are one
Knowing our cycle is never truly done
Full and Flowing
to Dark and Knowing
not everyone can understand
This connection we have
goes beyond sharing a solar system
With us, there is truly no distance.

Autumn

I almost saw you change
from green to orange
orange to brown
falling to the ground
time to let go of what once was
time to go within and see what’s inside
feel what my ancestors have to say
dive deep and reveal
the diamonds in the dark
show me your pain
as the sunshine turns to rain
this is the beginning of the end
Now is the time for us to mend.

So as a pagan, that’s another year ended for me. Overall I think the past 12 months have been pretty good. I got a promotion in my job and I’ve had a few exciting day trips and a holiday to The Hague. I didn’t manage to get any regular healing clients still or go to Peru, but I did go to Yoga quite a bit (I couldn’t for a while because of overtime) and walked loads before I moved job location and I achieved the manifestation as I got a promotion and Migs now has a lot more work, we are managing a lot better now. I’ve also managed to manifest ideas I had for my women’s circle into being like the fire ceremony and the day trip to Whitstable. I did set other goals in January but I will keep those going until the new calendar year as I usually do.

 

So my intentions I’ve set (for now) for the following year are:

  1. To step fully into my role as a healer- so this is one of my goals of last year reworded as this is still important to me. I love to do my healing work but I’m not getting much chance to practice it at the moment! This month I am adding another string to my bow by becoming a Moon Mother, so I’ll be able to also offer womb blessings and Divine Feminine Awakening healings. I hope that will help me get some more work. I will try better this year now things have settled more with my new role to promote the other work I do.
  2. To have new experiences and visit new places- I love adventures and I think more will be possible now! There’s so many places I’d like to visit and things I’d like to do so rather than name all those, I’m putting this intent out there to see where it leads me…
  3. To do more Activism- I used to do a lot more activism and I have been doing a bit more again this year but not as much as I’d like so I would like to try and get more active again for the many causes I care about.#
  4. To do more of what makes me happy- there has been some months where I’ve not seemed to do much other than work, eat, sleep, food shopping and I don’t want that! Life is for living after all!

 

 

 

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Radar Love- July 2016

Wow, this year is going to fast, can’t believe we are in August already! (and the sky outside today isn’t convincing me either) So time for another update of what I’ve been up to, July was a good month. But first how I did with my goals and intentions for the year..

KNOWLEDGE- since I got the nature finder app during 30 Days wild in June, I’ve been identifying wildlife and flowers regularly, I love it!

HEALTH- not been so good this month, as I started working in Rayleigh in July, I can’t walk to work anymore. I’ve done a few walks but not as much.

MAGIC- nothing specific I can think of

SELF CARE- I’m adapting to full time hours again, so haven’t been always been keeping to plans I’ve made because of tiredness.

To heighten my spiritual work- had one client, and also did some free readings on our business page on the full moon as it’s good practice.

To get to Peru- not there yet!

To honour the seasons and the moon- did usual new moon and full moon things. Lammas is today but I went to a ritual for it on Saturday.

To cook more- still haven’t!

go to Yoga classes- didn’t go to any in July, my work hours at the moment haven’t allowed me to 😦

walk more often- got less as mentioned before

not to be affected by other people’s stories- been ok with this I think

have no expectations- mostly ok with this too

manifestation skills- started my promotion a week earlier than planned!

WHAT I GOT UP TO

I had a belated birthday party as a lot of people couldn’t come on my actual birthday and Migs was away that weekend. I had a rainbow/80’s theme, there was only a few of us but it was really fun, we did 80s karaoke!  We were all completely sober too, lol!

I went to a Southend Vegans (a facebook group I’m on) meet up at The Railway Hotel, met some lovely new people but also knew a lot of people there too and everyone was super nice.

Started my job at Rayleigh a week earlier than planned as they were so desperate for staff! So it was all very sudden! I had to move a few plans about, as I now work Saturdays instead of Sundays.

I had a leaving drinks meet up (a week after I left because of all the sudden-ness of it) It was a fun night

I had my circle but as I had to move the day, there was only two of us. It was still nice though as we went to Priory Park and the theme was nature. It was a really warm day too.

I went to a poetry day at a community allotment my friend Fiona is involved with. It was another beautiful day spent with friends and nature.

I went to a Lammas ritual hosted by members of the local pagan moot I occasionally attend.

Busier month and I’m excited about this month too- got a fire ceremony tonight, away at the weekend, wedding anniversary coming up and other fun things too- yay 🙂

POEMS

my poems everyday for a year thing isn’t going great, I didn’t write any I was happy with or even bits of poems last month but I think I had a few this month so will put them here..haven’t felt inspired by the prompts lately.

Poem 1- Apology

I’d like to apologise on behalf of the human race

That we’re destroying the planet at an incredible pace

I’m so sorry for all the trees chopped down

All the pollution gives me a frown

I’m so sorry that there is animal abuse

and I’m sorry people’s ethics are so loose

I’d like to apologise on behalf of the human race

before the world disappears without a trace…

Poem 2- Reasons to be happy (unfinished)

Because the sun is shining today

because ultimately it will all be okay

Because worrying is a waste of time

Because I’m making the effort to make this rhyme

Because the birds are singing a beautiful song

Because it’s better than focusing on what’s wrong..

Poem 3 (unfinished)

Why are you alone?

Do you wish to be on your own?

Or are you lonely, staring out to sea?

I’m here contemplating life’s journey

Shall I row on or shall I stop and admire the view?

Poem 4

She fell into a forest
Head first, into the trees
for miles she could see
an everlasting trail
of what could ever be
fragile existence of life
untouched yet disturbed
by humanity’s deep disgrace
a truth we must learn to face
by looking within
only then will we know our deepest sin

 

 

 

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dancing barefoot..May 2016

Time for another month completion post, this year is sure passing by quickly!

FOCUS AND INTENTIONS UPDATE

KNOWLEDGE (focus on nature)- nothing specific really

HEALTH- been overall healthy I think

MAGIC- still haven’t done much focus on this

SELF CARE- resting when I need to still, and also booked and went for my smear test, as last time I kept forgetting to book it.

To heighten my spiritual work- no clients for the month, have been promoting my upcoming Goddess workshop as much as possible.

To get to Peru- still a long way off (for now)

To honour the seasons and moon- In addition to the full moon and new moon, there was Beltane, but I didn’t really do anything special for it sadly

To cook more- still nope

go to Yoga classes-only got to one during May 😦 holiday, work etc all got in the way.

walk more often- been walking every day to work still

not to be affected by other people’s stories- thinking I’m starting to get the hang of this more 🙂

have no expectations- need to work on this a bit more

manifestation skills- still lots of reading, meditation etc

WHAT I GOT UP TO

Went on Holiday! We went to Holland for four days. It was great, it deserved it’s own blog post, which you can read here

Went to a play (well not really a play but not sure how else to describe it) with my friend Fiona called ‘Three Acres and a Cow‘ it was a history of land activism told through storytelling, poetry and folk music. It was very interesting and I learnt lots.

I had my circle which in May was on the theme of ‘Desire’ it was another small but lovely one 🙂

It ended with a night in with my friend Fiona watching a documentary called ‘Girl Rising‘ about girls over the world who overcome great challenges to gain an education. Available on Netflix if you have it

so still working quite a bit but at least I had a holiday! Things calming down a bit work wise and lots of social things coming up so June looks to be a good one 🙂

POETRY- here’s any poems/bits of poems I managed for the #shewritespoetry2016 challenge! (writing a poem every day this year using a book of prompts) at some point I’ll make time to work on them further, finish some and give some of the prompts another go.

Poem 1

The daffodil hill

is better than any pill

to make me smile

even when I feel bottom of the pile

the sight of a tulip is my top tip

for a floral lift

when you’ve had a rift

a bluebell

always makes me feel well

a snowdrop

makes me want to hop

(unfinished)

Poem 2

Acceptance is beauty

life is fine

when you’re sea calm

we all have dream variations

some of us will see the snake and some of us will see a bouquet

listen to that jukebox love song

don’t be afraid of a cultural exchange

be open to what’s in front of you

listen with your heart not your head

be who you want to be

and live the life you dreamed.

poem 3

Awake

Believing

Consuming

Dreams

Enveloping

Fascinating

Growing

Holding

In your Mind

Just

Keep

Loving

More

Never be afraid to

Open your heart

Pay attention

Quell those fears

Remember who you are

Swim against the tides

Undo the pain you once felt

Very releasing

When you learn to let go

X Ray your soul

You are beautiful

now it’s time to dream…zzzzz

Poem 4

Fade into light

second sight

delving into night.

Poem 5

The willow tree is slowly waving to the rhythm of the wind

Children walk past undoing their school ties

then piling onto buses

the sky is still light but there’s a sense of the day coming to an end

clock watching at work is driving you round the bend

a good time for a cup of tea

look out the window at those going past

and wonder when hometime will arrive at last

(unfinished- I think)!

 

 

 

 

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Belated post: April Poems for #shewritespoetry2016

don’t think I wrote much of anything proper for the 4th month of my poem a day challenge but here’s the scraps I can find, that could turn into something better…

Poem 1

Stick me together and repackage me into something new

rearrange my soul

and place it where it’ll never go

hide my flows deep within

so I can only see the light

 

poem 2

It might seem cliché

to be true

but it’s what I know and what I’ve felt

love in all it’s glory

what it feels like when you can’t stop to breathe

but all you can do is breathe in…

Deprivation vs Plentitude

As she opened another can of beans

she dreamed of opening a takeaway instead

as she made a salad

she dreamed of a pizza with all the toppings

as she looked at the holes in her shoes

she dreamed of being able to go to the highstreet

and not think about pricetags

she dreamed of bills being paid in full and on time

she dreamed of nights out dancing and drinking

she dreamed of the days there were no money worries

maybe one day it might happen again

but for now she had to walk in the rain.

Poem 4

Bolt the door shut

Catch my fire

so we can truly connect

as a couple united

let’s not break this bond

and our love shall hold, united.

Poem 5

After the rain it all looked different

she no longer felt insignifcant

now she was no longer

just a shadow

now she no longer felt low

she was reborn into something new

fresh as the morning dew

layers all peeled away

time for a new day.

Poem 6

I have folded my sorrows into the mantle of summer night

it’s time for me to do what’s right

to move forward into my life

not accept anymore strife

take it into my stride

after all life is just a ride

we can choose to be scared or just enjoy.

Death Bed (unfinished)

Today is my last day

what can I say?

at least I did it my way

I laughed and I cried

But at least I tried

to be the best person I could be

there were sights I didn’t get to see

but at least I dreamed big

I got to do an interview at a gig

and had my words published in a book

a lot of people wouldn’t have gave me a second look

but I walked across fire and glass

poem 8

look after yourself better

speak up when you’re spoken to

sit up straight

brush your hair

people will think you don’t care

do your best

pass the tesr

don’t be a disappointment

I’ve given you a good life

so don’t give me any strife…

Poem 9

Just being still

gives me that thrill

with my eyes shut

I can go deep into my gut

see deep inside

open my soul wide

In fact, I can go anywhere

that I dare

There is no limit

I can run, walk or swim it

it’s a kind of magic

when you travel in your mind

you never know what you what you’ll find

all it takes is silence

and a little patience

go within and you can only win.

 

 

 

 

 

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Feb: She Writes Poetry 2016

I don’t think I wrote as many good poems in Feb for the #shewritespoetry2016 challenge, but here’s the ones I am mostly happy with anyway from this month.

Facebook themed poem

Look around you

everyone’s on their smartphone

let’s not talk to each other

let’s “facebook” each other instead

LOL look at this photo

OMG I must unfriend

Doesn’t it just drive you around the bend?

IMHO there is a place for Facebook

There’s nothing wrong with having a look

But not so much we miss face to face

let’s take it at a slower pace

see the real life faces around us

Not just a virtual screen

wondering what might have been

If only we had looked up just for a moment

show our friends and family some real life ❤

It’s not the same

Just clicking on someone’s name

Be with each other

even when you’re just on the bus

we’re all human after all

not just names on a Facebook wall.

Circuits (theme being a fifties housewife looking at electrical diagrams)

What could this be?

It isn’t plain to see

Dots and lines, oh my!

Perhaps I ought to show my guy

Is it a knitting pattern?

it looks like it’s from saturn

oh heaven’s above

I must ask my love

But first I must get his dinner on the table

if I’m to keep our marriage stable.

A note to myself

Hayley

it’s time

to love yourself

look after your health

be the person you want

escape what no longer serves you

be aware of your feelings and thoughts

be amazing and wonderful in all you do

you deserve the best and that time is now

it’s time to be free and happy inside yourself now!

Now

Today I am free

I am free to be me

No longer will I wear this chain

No longer will I allow pain

every negative thought I’ll blow away

I know that everything will be okay

I will allow myself to go with the flow

remember to stop and sometimes take it slow

I’ll give thanks for every moment

and not wonder where time went

pure acceptance

now I am free to dance life’s true dance.

Introvert/Extrovert

I’m quite when you first meet me

Introvert

But there’s more to me than what you see

Extrovert

I often have my head stuck in a book

Introvert

But give me another look

Extrovert

I might prefer one on one

Introvert

But when I think of all I’ve done

Extrovert

You wouldn’t see me the same way

Introvert

Take a chance and listen to what I have to say

for I am full of surprises

I wear many disguises

Introvert, extrovert

I’m no expert

but in reality, I think I’m a bit of both!

 

 

 

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She Writes Poetry 2016

You remember in my new years day post that I said I didn’t really have any specific writing goals for the year. Well, that kind of changed! I saw an invitation on Instagram by Beth Morey to take part in a poetry project.

What Beth, myself and lots of other women are taking part in is a poetry project called ‘She Writes Poetry 2016’ what we’re all doing is using a book called ‘The Daily Poet’ and attempting to write a poem every day of the year using the prompts in the book!

It sounded like fun, and I thought it might help get my creative juices going since although I have been writing a bit each year, I’m not writing as many poems as I used to, and I do find prompts helpful!

Now I haven’t managed to write a poem every single day this month, but I have at least tried every single day. So I’ll share with you highlights each month on those I think are worth sharing. So here are the ones I liked from January, some might need a bit more tweaking but I’m happy overall.

New Year

This year

My only expectation

is manifestation

manifest happiness, friendship and joy

manifest adventures, oh boy!

Dreams can come true, I will make them possible

Let there be no obstacle

I will achieve

all I’ve got up my sleeve

resolution is the solution

the year is 2016

and this year I will be the best I’ve ever been!

She breathes

She breathes, she lives

so why do we throw litter on the ground?

she breathes, she lives

so why do we keep killing all her wildlife?

she breathes, she lives

so why do we cover her glorious bounty in dangerous chemicals?

she breathes, she lives

we breathe, we live

she breathes, she lives

we can eat, we can drink

all because

she breathes, she lives

mother earth, gaia, pachamama

she breathes, she lives

but she won’t live forever

if we don’t get it together

so take the time today

to make sure she is okay

one step at a time

we can make things go the right way

so she breathes, she lives…

Breath

Breathe in, breathe out

take it all in

let it all go

breathe in, breathe out

feel your tummy rise

feel your tummy fall

breathe in, breathe out

concentrate on your chest

concentrate on your abdomen

breathe in, breathe out

this is our mantra

from yoga to tantra

breathe in, breathe out

why? because it’s our sacred essence

each breath we take is a blessing

so remember to

breathe in, breathe out

especially if you’re stressing

then you’ll regain focus

there is no hocus pocus

just simply

breathe in, breathe out.

Nightmare

Once I had a waking dream

my bedroom was filled with toys

sounds like that would be great

the only thing is the toys were evil

literally tearing the wallpaper off the walls

still I wonder to this day

why did I dream this dream

meaning of it, is lost on me

evil toys just attacking my room

more like a horror film, but I wasn’t the victim

maybe one day I’ll know

when I begin to remember my dreams once again.

Soft Monster

My cheeks flush crimson red

a critical voice starts talking in my head

“You can’t do this!”

like a snake hiss

my legs begin to shake

I start to feel like a fake

“I’m not good enough”

my throat starts to feel rough

this is my soft monster inside of me

I’d rather not be

she knows the best times to strike fear

wanting me to shed a tear

but one day I said “No more!”

this monster has become a bore

you are not real

I really can deal

the monster faded away

I could face another day

be who I want to be

and be amazing, just you wait and see!

Twins

They were on in the same
in more than just name
I am she, I am he
I am they

One day a girl, one day a boy
either way they felt joy
I am she, I am he
I am they

Gender is more than just what’s between your legs
Who says we have to sit so nicely on pegs?
I am she, I am he
I am they

Be who you want to be
It doesn’t matter what they see
I am she, I am he,
I am they

Fly high, no need to sigh
I am she, I am he
I am they
They were one in the same….

 

any feedback appreciated 🙂

 

 

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2016 Focus and Intentions

I never got around to writing a blog run-down of December but in brief there isn’t much to tell- it was mostly working, apart from a few social meet ups but not many.

As regular readers will know, my ‘official’ new year begins in October as I am a practising pagan, so I always set some goals then, but by the time the beginning of the calender year starts, I have thought of more.

So this is how I did with my goals for 2015:

Goals set in October 2014

To have regular healing clients- I had a few but yet to establish any regular people.

To get to Supervisor level in my job- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED! I’m not officially a supervisor (yet)! but I am trained as one so I can cover when needed. I’ve so far covered the Rayleigh store and my own store once. I’ll be getting plenty of practice as I will be covering Rayleigh on Thursdays and Fridays for a while, whilst the manager is recovering from surgery.

To finish my book- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED! I did finish it, although it’s not really that long at around 30 pages. My plan is to self publish it for free as an ebook.

To visit: Glastonbury, Gaunts House but my biggest aim is to go to the Three Wishes Faery Festival!- sadly didn’t manage any of these!

My key focuses-

Friendship- this improved a lot, I very rarely felt depressed about friendships in 2015. I feel very grateful to have some really amazing friends in my life now.

Fun- I definitely had more fun in 2015! It made such a big difference having a job I enjoy and feel comfortable with. I felt less stressed and more able to have fun!

Creativity and Inspiration- I did do some good writing in 2015 although still not as much as I would have liked. Photography became a new hobby, although I don’t take it that seriously, I just enjoy taking photos, I’m not interested in the technical side at all! Also- colouring!!

other stuff-

get involved with the green party- I attended one meeting, but I found that not that interesting so I decided it wasn’t for me. Although I still of course support them and I voted for them in the general election. I am kinda involved though as so many of my friends are involved with it!! I went to political protests so I did get involved in politics in a more active way.

try and get along to Street Spirit Southend- didn’t do this, I think the timing of the meetings don’t really fall right for me, although I do support them in other ways when I can.

spend less time on Facebook- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!! I spent March off Social media which made me rethink how I use it. So now although I still use it, I don’t read the entire feed. I also took both facebook and twitter away from my phone. I only have Instagram on there now, but I think that’s slightly better as it’s just photos and can be quite inspiring for recipes etc.

reconnect with my pagan/witchy side/go into nature more- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!! Definitely went into nature more and think I did connect more with that side of myself again.

watch less t.v- ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!

Get into music again- to some extent yes, I went to two gigs ‘proper’ this year.

Okay so now it’s time to focus on 2016! I am changing from ‘Goals and Resolutions’- to ‘Intentions and Focus’ as I feel that has a better energy to it!

The goals I already set in October were:

  1. To learn more about nature- I love nature so much but I can’t name most of the trees, plants etc. I want to be able to walk in a park and know what the types of trees and plants are. I also want to learn about their uses, herbs and flowers. I learn some things at work but I want to go deeper, things like the Bach Flower remedies intrigue me.
  2. To heighten my Spiritual-related ‘work’- I don’t mean my meditations, rituals etc. My circle has gone amazingly well this year and got a lot bigger. I now really want to have healing work to do, and also run workshops, I ran an Inner Child workshop this year that I’m hoping to do again, and I’m also planning a Goddess workshop. I work part time and do overtime when I can, but I’d love to do part time at my ‘normal’ job and part time doing my spiritual related work.
  3. To get to Peru- planning to go to Peru next year for a retreat. It’s a big ask but I’m trusting the universe will provide us the means to go in some way!
  4. To honour the seasons and Full Moons more fully- use them as celebrations and time to enjoy. If I can’t have the full ‘holiday’ on the day itself due to work then I will celebrate it on the closest day off I have.

My Focus this year will be on:

KNOWLEDGE, HEALTH, MAGIC, SELF-CARE

Intentions-

To Cook more- try some of the recipes I see on places like Instagram.

Go to Yoga Classes- part of my self-care/health focus, I want to go to classes again rather than just doing at home as I don’t push myself enough at home. Aiming to go once a week but I know some weeks it may not be possible so as many times as I can in a month.

Walk more often- do longer walks when I go out, in warmer weather perhaps walk to work or home from work sometimes. Consider doing the Moonlight Colourthon again.

Take better self care- I’m great at taking care of myself spiritually and emotionally but physically I could do better. I don’t need to lose weight but I do want to feel fitter. I also need to make sure I have things done when I need them, not keep dodgy clothes, rest as much as I need to do, take care of my body,things like that.

Not to be affected by other people’s stories- not letting other’s emotions bring my own down.

Have no expectations- don’t have a preconceived idea of how something or someone will be, (good or bad), then there’s no room for disappointment or upset.

But on the other hand, also harness my manifestation skills, I think I am getting a lot better at this, so want to keep this up!

My friend Rae asked me the other day what writing goals I have, I’m not really sure I have any. maybe to publish the book and a collection of poetry I put together, but maybe if I have no specific goals, I might write more? We’ll see!

Wishing you all a most magical happy new year!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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November 2015

I quietened things down a little in November…but that didn’t stop me still having adventures!

I did another photo project on Instagram called ‘Crystal Allies November’ which was a really lovely one. If you’re on Instagram, you can find me there as moonlight.phoenix I haven’t found any for December so it probably won’t be quite so active, but I do taking photos so I’m sure there will still be fairly regular updates!

here’s how November went in term of my goals for the year…

FRIENDSHIP- didn’t see people quite as often this month, but the times I did were lovely.

FUN- I had fun at Witchfest, doing laughter yoga!

CREATIVITY AND INSPIRATION- more photography BUT I did also take part in a creative writing workshop, and I’ve got a few other pieces to work on, and I did create this poem

and this is how the first month of my new intentions from Samhain 2015- to Samhain 2016 has went-

To Learn more about nature- I’ve been for a few lovely walks, and have got people to help me learn the names of some of the birds I’ve taken photos of

To heighten my spiritual ‘work’- no work sadly, but did promote a few times via Facebook, and did a swap with my friend who said she will tell others

To get to Peru- well I got the time off okayed from work, so that’s a start!

To honour the full moon and seasons more fully- I did a full ritual for the first time in a while for the full moon and have started doing readings for myself on the new moon.

and finally what I actually got up to!

I went to the Inspiring Women meeting as always, and it was our 2nd birthday so it was a fun one (well not that isn’t usually!) this time we played a game where we had to go round each person and first introduce ourselves as if we had never met as we are now, then we had to do it again but this time us in five years time. I wasn’t sure what to say different the second time apart from a few things, but by the time I had completed the circle, I had somehow earnt myself a healing retreat!

I did my first stint as a trained supervisor! I had to run the Rayleigh store for a day and despite my nerves it went really well. I also had to close there on another day that week but that time the whole system went down so not one of our stores could ‘officially’ close the store! Funny enough, that was Friday 13th.

I went to the second of the new Southend Essex Feminist Collective meetings, and it was really good. There were speakers from a few of the local domestic abuse services and a local Rape Crisis. It was pretty grim in terms of the severe lack of funding they get, and also the very real lack of convictions also.

I went to Witchfest, which was worthy of a blog of it’s own, which you can find here

I did a healing for my friend who did me reiki last month, and it went very well.

I met up with my friend Lauren for lunch, where we despaired the lack of quick and easy vegan lunch options in town. We ended up getting the last 2 vegan items in Boots, and mine although nice was very minimal and left me feeling still hungry. (it was a salad)

I did the creative writing workshop which was really good, we did different types of writing, and weren’t made to feel under pressure and we didn’t have to read them all out. There was only one exercise I didn’t write anything worthwhile, but the rest will be good I think. There was then an open mic night in the evening by the same people, so I read a few poems there. If you don’t already know of Sundown Arts, then you really should check them out

Then finally, yesterday was my circle, which this time was on the theme of career/jobs and was lovely as always.

 

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