Moonlight Phoenix has risen

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The Inevitable End of Year/New Year Post 2018/2019!

First a look back to how this year has been for me:

Music of 2018

Still not really very important for me this year so there’s nothing of real note to add here. I switched to Youtube Music instead of Spotify (due to my phone’s lack of space). We went to 2gigs- a Pink Floyd Tribute and  Garbage-

we’ll make it three tonight as we’re going to see a Kiss Tribute in Camden!

Books

I read a little more this year (23 compared to 16 last year) The highlights have been: The Guilty Feminist by Deborah Frances- White (despite the slightly offputting title it was a pleasant surprise with a constructive look at intersectional feminism and interviews with people across the spectrum of colour, disability and gender identity). The Gaia Effect by Claire Buss, Witch by Lisa Lister, The Optimised Woman by Miranda Gray and Moon Mysteries by Nao Simms.

Films and TV

I have a feeling I did go to the cinema once but I forgot what it was! This year I’ve carried on enjoying Black Mirror (have you seen the latest one, it’s epic)!, Dr Who, Midnight in Texas and New Girl. Recently I watched Trainspotting 2 (which was okay), Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle (pretty good) and how could I forget the new darker reboot of Sabrina the teenage Witch???

Moments/Things I did in 2018

Carried on going to Red Tent Rayleigh where I made new friends, tried new things (like different types of dancing) and also made a friend who also became my life coach and got me into ecstatic dance!

Carried on for a while with the Canewdon Witchy Circle but it wasn’t for me so I didn’t go for the entire year.

Gave up on Red Tent Hackney Wick but started a new small women’s circle in Southend which was lovely

Went to events with other shamans- one called Richard Down and a Siberian Shaman called Ladamira.

I went to shadow another South 1 but also had more of my own learnings come up during the process/

Hosted a joint fire ceremony with a friend

Did much more Moon Mother work, and finally went to Glastonbury to do my Level 2! The training was magical anyway but also Glastonbury awoken my vision as I had a spiritual rebirth on the tor and a visitation from Mary Magdalene and Brigid. I had a big process afterwards as the work was so powerful alongside my Medicine Wheel work that I had a bit of an emotional breakdown but once it passed, I felt so much better!

Helped with a Munay Ki

Finally did South Part 2 and started my epic journey of doing the case studies which really empowered me and healed me as well, then a few months later moved onto the West of the Medicine Wheel

Moved! Not just a little move but finally to London!

There was a lot of manifestation this year, a lot of healing (some very deep and some painful) and my connection to the Goddess strengthened in a way I wouldn’t have dreamed possible!

My words for 2018 were Love, Prosperity and Energy and there was plenty of all those things!  I intended to advance my healing work- I moved on in both Moon Mother work and Medicine Wheel work

 

2019

Instead of choosing three words for 2019 I chose a word using book divination, my word for the year is:  VESSEL- I commit to making myself a sacred vessel to bring the Goddess to others and a vessel of love, opening my heart to others and myself.

I set some of my intentions back on Samhain but here are a few more I have for 2019:

I intend to be more aware of my privilege as a white cis female and vow to be the best ally I can to others.

I intend to speak up more about causes that matter to me in various ways.

I intend to follow the 5 agreements as best as I can- to be impeccable with my word, to not make assumptions, not take anything personally, to always do my best and to be skeptical but learn to listen.

AHO!

 

 

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Witches New Year 2018

Slightly delayed post this year but with good reason, I’ve moved house!

Long term regular readers will know that as I am pagan, October 31st is extra special  to me as it’s the season of Samhain, which is all about honouring the ancestors but is also Witches New Year! So I set my main intentions for the year in October and then usually add a few more on January 1st. It’s been an amazing year with some big ups and some bigs downs. I carried on with my Shamanic medicine wheel training, I have now moved onto the West of the medicine wheel which is about facing your fears and stepping into your power, I did my Moon Mother Level 2 in Glastonbury (at last, I went)!and had some amazing experiences there which really heightened my connection to the Goddess. I had a big spiritual rebirth there which did lead me to having a bit of an emotional breakdown, but once I got through it I felt sooo much better! I went to Red Tent Rayleigh regularly which was brilliant, did ecstatic dance and for a while went to a witchy circle as well. It ended with us moving, as we moved on 1st November, what divine timing! We had intended to move to London for quite some time and it has finally happened. We now live near Canning Town in a houseshare with 4 other people and we are loving it so far.

The goals I had set for last year were:

to be empowered in all areas of my life- did feel quite empowered through doing my medicine wheel training and also when I went to Glastonbury as it was the first time I went away on my own and sorted out my own travel and my own air bnb etc.

to be more visible- as mentioned I went to a few groups etc regularly which made a massive difference, especially Red Tent as through that I made some new friends, had new experiences, started going to ecstatic dance and had sessions with a life coach.

to create new beginnings- yes! Right at end, we moved to a whole other county!

to let go more and allow flow into my life- eventually! after having the breakdown I finally let of writing so many lists and putting so much pressure on myself, and look what’s happened since!

My intentions for this new wheel of the year are

1. To build up my reputation as a healer, so I can head in the direction of being able to be self employed. Hopefully by moving to London this will be much more possible now.#

2. To start a new women’s circle in London

3. To do my Moon Mother Level 3 in Ireland in July.

4. To spend more time with people I love and doing things I love

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Gratitude

The wheel of the year has turned and we are now into the energy of Mabon, the Autumn Equinox. Here in the UK, the weather has turned darker, the leaves are falling, the winds are blowing and the rain is falling.

At this time, we pause to reflect on all we have achieved over the year and be thankful for everything we have in our lives. If you don’t already do one, a great practice to start is a gratitude list, this can be as long or short as you like, I like to write two things down every day that I’m grateful for, others do 3, and if you are feeling extra grateful you might even like to do 10! Remembering what we have is a good way to take the attention away from the things we don’t have, which is something pretty much everyone is guilty of at some point. It can bring even a tiny glimmer of hope on a gloomy day just to remember for a few moments that it’s not all bad.

Most of you reading this, will either have a laptop, a computer, or maybe wifi on a phone, or maybe access to the internet through a library or an internet cafe. Most of us have got a roof over our heads, with access to drinking water, and possibly heating, electric, t.v, food in our fridges/freezers, and that’s a great start! You probably have a bed to sleep in a night and access to a toilet. Maybe also family, maybe friends, maybe a job, maybe a partner.

What I am grateful for right now?

I am grateful for my healing journey that has been accelerated by walking the shamanic medicine wheel path. This year I have really started to accept myself fully instead of thinking I need to be more like others, that I need to fix myself, I’ve started to see what’s great about me and love myself more, not comparing and despairing anymore. I’ve started to see that nearly all of us are thinking we are not “good enough” so actually all of us are going round trying to be like others, when they are probably trying to be more like us! So we might as well just be ourselves.

I am grateful for the amazing connection with the Goddess I have formed this year, it has never been so strong. For the first time without me trying, Goddesses have come to me! I got guided to Ishtar through a journey, Sekmet came to me in a dream, a deck of Isis cards came to me, I finally got to go to Glastonbury, a dream of mine for a long time and while I was there Brigid rebirthed me on the Tor, and I also had an encounter with Mary Magdalen.

I got to complete my level 2 Moon Mother training in Glastonbury, made some wonderful friends. I finally got to do part 2 of my South shamanic training and learnt an incredible healing called the Illumination.

I had a breakdown but it led to massive breakthrough. I reawakened my inner child and have fell in love with myself again.

Thank you Goddess, thank you God, thank you Spirit, thank you to all those in my life.

I love you. Thank you, thank you, Thank you!

 

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Self Love

Self love is a term we often hear bandied about these days, yes we need to love ourselves more, but how exactly do we give ourselves self love, and what is it? Is it through affirmations, yoga, meditation? Or is it through getting massages, face masks, writing positive messages on the mirror to read in the morning before we walk out the door?

Self love can be many things and that is why maybe it is the hardest thing that’s possible to do, even when you read every magazine article and like every self love quote meme going around Facebook and Instagram, and yet still we are not loving ourselves fully.

Most of us live in a cloud of judgement, this judgement is actually created by ourselves. From a young age we take in every belief from everything around us, from the media, teachers/school, family, friends, everything. If we get told we’re useless enough times we’ll soon believe it. Then this manifests into high standards we have created for ourselves to make ourselves “good enough”. The truth is we are enough.

This is why self love is possibly the hardest hurdle for most of us on our healing journey. As it means we have to let go of every negative thing we have ever been told about ourselves, including our own self talk which is probably the worst of them all. It means fully accepting yourself as you are. It means honouring your own choices without anything else taking you away from your personal truth. It means setting boundaries and keeping them.

Self love is almost a contradiction which is why it can’t necessarily be resolved with a few positive affirmations or a once a month pamper session.  As it also means knowing that you will sometimes fall down, that sometimes you will struggle. But also being in a place of acceptance that you are able to feel the emotions and acknowledge them, but not let them rule you.

It means eating healthily and in the right way for your body, but also not denying yourself when you want chocolate/caffeine/sugar! It means moving your body, but also sometimes just laying about doing nothing.  It means getting out there, but also going within. It’s working towards your goals, but also taking downtime.

It’s knowing that no one and nothing is perfect. Loving yourself is loving all of you and that’s a hard thing to do. But we can do it! ❤

 

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April 2018

Somehow already a week of May has been and gone in the blink of an eye and I haven’t wrote my blog about April yet! so here is my monthly tracker of how I did with my goals and intentions for the year during April.

My words for the year are: Love, Energy and Prosperity. done things towards all of those but nothing new to add here really or anything that stands out that happened.

specific intentions:

take my healing work to the next level- I went along to another South Part 1 medicine wheel training, I’ve already done part 1 so I came to shadow the teaching, I did get to gift the Harmony Rite of the Munay Ki to some of the students as well. I also had a mad experience with a past life journey I did where I felt all the emotions of letting it go..it was really intense and a little scary!

to be more empowered in more areas of my life- not sure anything specific

to be more visible- attended quite a few things

create new beginnings- paid some more of debts that need to be cleared before we can move.

to let go and allow flow more- I’m getting better at it!

and what I got up during April:

went to the south training I mentioned and had a really powerful weekend realising how much I’ve changed and developed over the last 6 months, plus I got to walk the labyrinth for the third time! (and every time is different)

had a visit from my friend Rae which was nice.

went to Miguel’s current shamanic group as they did an activity we didn’t do when I did the course which was a past life journey, it was very strong and epic.

went to a moot where Gareth was doing a talk about shamanism. I won a whole tub of crystals on the raffle so I was really happy, can’t believe someone had been that generous.

went to Red Tent Rayleigh which was run by Tania and Juliette this month and we did a coaching style exercise which was really powerful and felt great afterwards. I look forward to this every month now.

I started a new women’s circle in Southend again while I am still here and happy to say it filled up, I limited to 4 spaces but ended up having 5 people. we are going to be meeting on full moons. For the first one we took part in the Worldwide womb blessing and it was beautiful!

 

 

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March 2018

Another Month gone, so how did I get on with my focus and intentions for the year during March?

Love/Energy/Prosperity- carried on with the energy things I started doing (vitamins, more water etc), prosperity I actually managed to raise enough to do my Advanced Moon Mother training this year through my crowdfunding page but also by my own saving, so not only have I paid a deposit, I’ve also booked a room!

healing work to the next level- see above! So in June I’m going to Glastonbury to do Level 2 of my Moon Mother training! I’m really excited, as not only am I doing the next part of my training, I’ve never been to Glastonbury and I’ve also wanted to go, (I’m going a day early and leaving a day late so hopefully I get a chance to see some of it)! and I’m also going away for the first time on my own so scary and exciting.

to be more empowered in more areas of my life- just goes back to the moon mother thing really for March as I did set an intent and managed to do it!

to be more visible- did a few social things

to create new beginnings- nothing specific yet

to let go and allow flow more- every week it’s getting easier..

what I actually got up to in March:

went to my monthly witchy circle, my favourite yet, as not only did we celebrate spring equinox, we took part in a ceremony called a blessingway for one of the sisters who is pregnant, so a blessing for her basically. We could all paint symbols on her belly, and each got a candle to light when she goes into labour, and a bracelet that we cut when the baby is born to represent the umbllicol cord being cut, and we all wrote positive messages for her, and some of her friends read poems, it was really beautiful and very special.

I held a small circle for women’s day (not on the exact day but that week) with just two women but it was really powerful with some very deep sharing 🙂

did a womb blessing for someone

went to Red Tent Rayleigh, had a great evening doing partner yoga and yoga nidra.

There was a special event at AHO studio where we do a lot of our London work, a well known shaman came to do a blessing on the studio and on London and it was all filmed, and we took part.  you can watch it here- https://www.facebook.com/daren.ellis.1969/videos/10156253147798767/?fref=mentions

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Hormone Helps and Handy Resources

About a year ago now as some of my regular readers will know, I gave up the contraceptive pill, because I wanted to live by my natural cycle rather than an artificial one and felt after over 10 years of being on it that it was time for me to come off! (This is a personal choice for all women, and whilst I would urge you to go other routes if possible, I am also aware for some women this may be helping them a great deal and I hold no judgement for this, every woman is different after all)! So in the last year it has been a great learning curve as I get to know my body and learn how it all works! So I wanted to share for those women who may be thinking of doing the same, or just want some advice for balancing hormones/working with cycles, things I’ve used that I’ve found helpful and books/websites that have been useful for me.

Food/Supplements

Maca Powder- maca is a Peruvian root that has many benefits including hormone balancing, but also helps energy, mood and is rich in antioxidants. I started using this as a lot of the hormone balancing supplements I found to be quite expensive (Evening Primrose Oil etc) and even though Maca can be as well, I found it in The Grapetree to be pretty reasonably priced. It also helped I like the taste of it! I know not everyone does but I love it. I’d say it tastes a bit like digestive biscuit! I mix two teapoons in with my oats in the morning, and occasionally  I put in with my hot cacao (chocolate digestive drink)! or make a Maca drink rather than a coffee. I’ve also used it in capsule form. I’ve personally found that my periods have been much more regular when I’ve been taking it then when I haven’t been taking it. I was very lucky that my first few natural periods were not a lot longer than my 28 day pill cycles. (I’ve had longer cycles too but I wasn’t taking as much Maca in those times). So not sure if a coincidence but it seems to work for me, and I like the taste so I don’t mind!!

Magnesium and B Vitamins- I recommend these to all as there are so many benefits to these two anyway, but they are particularly helpful in this area for stress you may get from PMS and a Magnesium salt bath is really relaxing!

Books

Love Your Lady Landscape by Lisa Lister– really down to earth book about getting to know your lady parts, building a loving relationship with it and working with your cycles.

Red Moon by Miranda Gray– the book that begun my journey! This is more a spiritual book about our connection to our cycles and the female archetypes.

Female Energy Awakening by Miranda Gray– a lot about womb blessings, but also has a really good 28 day activity process which is great for working with your cycle and honouring it how it should be.

Websites

Red School

Nicole Jardim

hope this helps!

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Book Review: Growing Up with Girl Power

another book review from years back that sadly never got published, and this was such a good book I still thought it worthy to post the review!

Growing Up With Girl Power by Rebecca Haines, Peter Lang Publishing

Growing Up With Girl Power is the first book written by Massachusetts based media studies and advertising teacher Rebecca Haines

. Also a graduate of Women’s Studies, this three hundred and fifteen page book is a very interesting and insightful look into the impact of the phrase ‘Girl Power‘ and it’s implications on our lives from an early age.

Most girls of any age will identify with something in this book, Growing Up With Girl Power explores the riot grrrl movement, the impact of all girl pop phenomenon Spice Girls, girl hero cartoons such as The Powerpuff Girls and even explores the complex issue of racism.

You don’t need to be a graduate or studying gender theory to enjoy this book. Growing Up With Girl Power is written in an understandable way making it easy for anyone to read- and the chapters are set in an excellent chronological and categorical manner, so if you wanted to, you could just pick up the book and read about a particular subject if you wanted to. At the end of each chapter there is a paragraph or two on the kinds of discussion the chapter’s subject has brought up, so the book would also be an excellent teaching resource.

As far as I’m aware, there is no other book out there in the publishing world like this one which explore this particular side of feminism. I felt like this was the book I’d been searching for, various chapters in the book summed up what I had always suspected had been my own personal route to identifying as a feminist.

In particular, what stood out for me were the chapters titled ‘Girl Power Goes Pop’ and ‘Did the Spice Girls Kill Feminism?’ which are early on in the book, citing this kind of music as the progression of the ‘girl power‘ ethos of the Riot Grrrls in the nineties (interestingly, the phrase Girl Power was first used by Bikini Kill in their zines and flyers- NOT by the Spice Girls). Rebecca Haines discusses the article written a few years ago in 2007 by Fay Weldon of the Daily Mail titled ‘How the Spice Girls Killed Feminism, Subverted Morality and Embarrassed Us All.

‘ which made the assumption that almost all girls that listened to the Spice Girls now have eating disorders and body image issues. The writer decides to find out if this is really true by interviewing some girls who had experienced The Spice Girls music whilst growing up and identified as feminists.

Not all the girls that were interviewed were fans of The Spice Girls, but all had interesting opinions and memories of the impact The Spice Girls had on their childhood, it seems whether we liked them or not, the all girl pop act made an impact in some way. What resonated for me, was that one of the girls interviewed said that they had eventually led her into exploring the riot grrrl movement and many of the girls (even if not a fan at any point) felt The Spice Girls were like a ‘beginners feminism’. I too had been a fan of The Spice Girls and now I listen to many all female fronted and all female bands (including riot grrrl) and even do a radio show focused on that kind of music, and I feel like The Spice Girls may have led me in that direction, and in some way eventually led me onto identifying myself as a feminist. It felt good to read, at long last, that there were other girls like me that felt the same way as me about them, and didn’t just trash them. Growing Up With Girl Power writer Rebecca Haines recognises the negative points that the band had, but finally someone sees how they could also have had a positive influence.

Another aspect that makes Growing Up With Girl Power such a good book, is that Rebecca Haines doesn’t just rely on statistics for her subjects, as well as interviewing girls about The Spice Girls influence on their lives, she also interviews some much younger girls for her sections about Girl Hero cartoons and racism. She even goes back to see some of the girls five years later to find out how they now felt about the catchphrase ‘Girl Power‘. In the chapter about cartoons, Rebecca Haines spends time with various groups of young girls including a group at an elementary school and a non profit after care organisation. These chapters provide a real insight into the mind sets of young girls as they tell Rebecca their feelings about various cartoons they watch together and discuss such things as Bratz

dolls. There are also pictures included that the girls draw to illustrate certain things like the differences between a ‘girly girl‘, a ‘tomboy’ and a ‘diva’.

Whilst the book certainly has many positive outlooks, there are some things that Rebecca discovers through her time with the young girls that are frightening, if not surprising. Such as the girls hating everything about the way they look or judging female pop stars for their appearance not their music.

Overall, Growing Up With Girl Power is a fascinating and insightful read, which I highly recommend to all people, whether you identify as a feminist or not.

Review written in 2013, I’m no longer doing the radio show!

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Feb 2018

how I got on with my focus and intentions

Love/Energy/Prosperity- energy was probably the main focus of those in February, I made sure to take vitamins everyday, started cutting down on snacks, and slowly started to increase my water intake. There was some aspects of the month that related to the other words but not much.

healing work to the next level- I started a crowdfunding page to help me raise enough funds to do the Advanced Moon Mother training this year, so far I’ve had £40 in donations which is more than I expected and I’ve managed to save £30, so that’s £70 towards the £400 in total so far.

to be more empowered in more areas of my life- not sure if anything specific

to be more visible- did do some social things

to create new beginnings- nothing yet

to let go and allow flow more- yep still gradually allowing more flow…

what I actually got up to-

I had a week off, during that week I did a healing swap with my friend Roberta, and just did a few bits at home.

I met up with my friend Fiona who I hadn’t seen for ages and we had coffee and cake at a local cafe.

I went to red tent rayleigh and it was movement meditation, which was more energetic than I was expecting…

I suffered with toothache unfortunately quite a bit so had to make an appointment with the dentist and it turns out I need a wisdom tooth taken out but I’m being refered to the hospital so I can be sedated.

Now we’re in March and currently snowed in and I have another week off, I hope this snow stops soon, I’m not a fan!

 

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How November 2017 was…

focus for the year: Divine Feminine, Balance and Happiness

Divine Feminine- as usual I did a lot towards this, as well as all my daily work, I went to quite a few women’s groups, I won a Skype Womb Ceremony (well basically we talked about red tents, periods and yonis for an hour lol) and did one womb healing.

Felt I was a bit more balanced as I started to go out a bit more than I have been for most of the year! and because of this I was also doing more things that made me happy 🙂

Intentions

Cook more- did cook a few times

Make more time for creativity- did write a blog, and attempted crafting at one of the circles I went to…

Be better at birthdays- no

Finish the lists- no not really

Live to my cycle and educate others- yep

and my new intentions that I created on Witches New Year..

to be empowered in all areas of my life- in a way yes as I made myself go out more even when I thought we couldn’t really afford it..but also I started to get the influx of bookings for healings! I’ve already had two clients in December and I’ve still got another 3 booked in!

to be more visible- Yep! I went to three events.

to create new beginnings- well I’m slowly tying loose ends to make it easier when the time is right to be able to move…

to learn to let go more and allow FLOW into my life- it’s a slow process as I do love my lists and being organised, but I have been slowly letting go week by week of different lists and different things that stop me from being in the moment. It’s just finding the balance of being in the moment but also making sure things do get done!!

What I got up to during November- I went to the Rayleigh Red Tent, I went a few years ago but hadn’t taken the time for myself to go again even though the venue is literally across the road from where I work! It was quite good, we had a share and then got to try Chakra Dance, which I never done before but it was really good, and we had blindfolds on so it was even more liberating!

I went to the Sisters of the earth Goddess circle I’ve been attending the last few months. We did a guided meditation to the Goddess Freya and made crone dolls. I wasn’t very good so mine is still sitting here unmade 😦

It was transgender day of remembrance on the 20th so I called on others to join and light a candle and send a wave of love at 8pm on that day.

I met up with my friend Lauren and we went to leigh, where I got some crystals and we went had vegan cake at a bookshop that has a coffee shop inside with a vegan menu!

I had a womb healing client and I finished someone else on their Munay Ki Path.

I went to an anti fur protest in Leigh

I went to an evening event which was an hour of gentle yoga and a sound bath, very relaxing!

December so far seems to be all about the healings! (and I did actually pick the card ‘The singer of healing’ as my card for this month on my year reading) I don’t do Xmas but will be going to the work xmas meal which is at ASK this year (I’m looking forward to it as another venue that has a vegan menu now) and we will be celebrating the Winter Solstice. I’m also hoping to go to Red tent Rayleigh again and go out for new year.

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