Hayley- Moon and Womb Medicine Woman

Divine Feminine Magic, Shamanism, and General Witchy Hippy Vibes!

The Power in Our Blood

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Poetry Dowsing Week 12 and Conclusion

Wow I can’t believe it’s been 12 weeks and I’ve now completed the poetry dowsing course I’ve been doing! If you aren’t sure what I am talking about, I have been writing about it regularly and you can see from the beginning here

Just a quick summary of week 12 and then I’ll write about my overall experience.

The final week theme was ‘Uncovering a Sense of Perseverance’. So thinking about creative habits we may have formed during the past few months and committing to sticking to them. This was also the exercise for the week.

The final week of this I was mostly in self isolation due to a persistent dry cough, so I went out for walks at Wanstead Flats on a daily basis (in the UK at the moment- we are allowed outside once a day for exercise- we can also go out for essential shopping or work if you are classed as a key worker). As I was self isolating I couldn’t go anywhere else so I was (and still am) very grateful we have an open nature space so close by. For the Artist date I just spent time listening to music. I did my morning pages daily and wrote a few blogs, so inspired, but didn’t write any poetry.

Overall- I’m really pleased I decided to focus on doing this ‘challenge’ the last few months as it has been so helpful for me. I read back on all the morning pages today and I can see how they made me feel clearer as I released emotions in those pages so ready to face the day, but also I can see a clear arc of myself over the period of 3 months, which ended up actually in a subtle way charting the gradual fear/anxiety developing in the world regarding Covid 19. After a long period of not many poems at all (with at least a few months in between) I don’t know how but somehow the small exercises each week must have woke up something in me because over the last 3 months I managed to write 10 poems! That’s almost 1 a week!

So thank you Mookychick

for bringing this course/program to my attention and now I’m looking forward to at some point reading the book they based their posts on ‘Dowsing for Water’ by Julia Cameron.

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Wash Your Aura! (Spiritual Hygiene)

So we know the world is rather surreal at the moment with pretty much everyone in lockdown. I am sure the vast majority of us are doing our best to maintain the advice given of washing our hands regularly, and taking sensible precautions, social distancing etc. Hygiene is more important now than ever. The fact that we’re being asked continually to wash our hands is interesting in a spiritual sense in itself. Why? Because we are bringing a lot of focus to the element of water (which I wrote a bit about in a recent post). The element of cleansing, purification. It seems to be many the world is in a process of a major cleansing. You just have to see the photos of clearer rivers and wild animals appearing in urban settings, to see the Earth is beginning to cleanse itself. I know myself and many others believe there may be a bigger cleanse to come, just knowing what that might look like is not clear yet. But it feels like once this has passed there will be a new beginning, and things won’t be the same again. That this is the storm, and once the storm has passed the skies will feel fresh and clear.

Anyway, what has come up strongly for me in this time, is that we not only need to be maintaining our physical hygiene, but our spiritual hygiene. There is a lot of emotions flying around right now- fear, anxiety, uncertainty and beyond.  Tensions are running high as we all adjust to a new way of living. Especially if you are an empathic healer like myself, then you will be picking up on those emotions, and it can be harder now to detect what emotions are yours, and what are someone else’s. And the emotions are amplified! We need to protect ourselves and take measures to help us to stay in our centres. Yes, we will get knocked down now and again, but the more we practice our spiritual hygiene, the easier it will be to come back to our centre. We can build ourselves up like the phoenix, so that we may rise with every fall, building strength each time.

So many of you may already have ways you use to help you maintain your centre- you don’t need to be a healer to practice spiritual hygiene. Here are my suggestions that may help bring you protection and cleanse yourself – mind and spirit. For all-not just healers! Have a look for ideas, maybe you can think of others, hopefully some will resonate for you if you’re not sure where to start.

  1. Daily Smudging- you can use sage, frankincense, copal, ethically sourced palo santo, even an incense stick if that’s all you have/can get. Use the smoke to cleanse yourself from negative energies. You could also use Sweetgrass to bring in positive energy afterwards.
  2. if you have Aqua de Florida- use this regularly to cleanse your auric field, bonus- it contains a high percentage of alcohol so will also help to kill germs!
  3. have a hot bath- for protection you can add bath salts (or even regular salt)! or essential oils with protective properties like clove, cedarwood and black pepper. (just a few drops so not too overpowering)
  4.  every morning use your imagination to imagine putting on a cloak of protection, or you can envision yourself in a protective bubble, or a mirror deflecting the bad energy off
  5. chants- you could make one of your own or you can find many protection ones online. I particularly like this one from the Isis Oracle Deck:  Pillar of light burning bright, earth star below, soul star above, burn away all that is not light, transform all into unconditional love, star of Isis descend, your blessing and peace without end, grace me now with peace and protection, completely embraced by divine perfection
  6. crystals! Carrying them with you or wearing them as necklaces etc- particularly good protective stones include- black tourmaline, obsidian, and I am also finding Carnelian and Amber really helpful too
  7. staying connected even when apart- take part in online circles, zoom chats, community online events. This will help you feel centered, knowing you can still enjoy communication with others, and sometimes learn new things, or meet new friends, who might not even be in the same part of the world as you.
  8. meditation- there are many forms of meditation- you don’t have to be able to empty your mind! You can even just focus on your breath for 5 minutes.
  9.  Prayer- to whoever/whatever you believe in
  10. going into nature- we’re able to do this still, which I am very grateful for! Just being with the new flowers, and the blossoming trees makes me feel better very quickly
  11. resting- rest when you need to, slow down, we’re always going fast fast fast, make time for yourself to rest
  12. light a candle and watch the flame dance, you can add more to this if you want, saying a prayer, some of the other suggestions also could be done the same time
  13. taking essences such as Bach Rescue Remedy if you are able to get- for calming
  14. Herbal teas- Camomile tea, rose tea, valerian for help sleeping
  15. spend time with pets
  16. shake it off!! Have a good shake and imagine everything falling off you
  17.  Connect with oracle cards- Messages from the Sacred Rebels Deck has been particularly helpful for me.
  18. Scream. cry, make space for yourself to release emotions you’re feeling. Let them out and let them go
  19. Smile, laugh, sing, dance- then do something you enjoy- watch a funny film, listen to your favourite music, anything that lifts you
  20. Be gentle on yourself. You don’t have to start a new project or learn something new TODAY. Follow your own personal rhythms.

 

Please comment any other suggestions you have!

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Poetry Dowsing Week 11

ooh it’s almost coming to an end! To see what I’ve been doing, if you haven’t been a regular reading check out the first post in the series here

The theme  of week 11 was Uncovering A Sense of Discipline. Finding ways to discipline ourselves to work on our creativity if only in small ways. As such the exercise for the week was to spend 20 minutes everyday on poetry, whether that was writing, researching, reading etc. I didn’t manage everyday but did at least 3 days.

I did two walks to Wanstead Flats. For the Artist Date I took part in an online singing circle, I think I missed one day of morning pages.

I wrote a few poems last week (3)! So here they are:

Poem 1

It’s time to go within
It’s what we’ve been waiting for
Can’t you see
All the signs have been there
Now it’s time to head towards the left,
Make a bend in the road, stop going straight
It’s time to rise dear sisters
Let the light shine
Holding the space
For the wider awakening
It’s time to rise dear brothers
Let the light shine
Protecting the space
For the wider awakening
Now the time is here
We need to step up our game now
The planet has been in decline
Now it’s time to truly heal her
Take her in our embrace
Remembering our own true nature’s
Returning to the Divine light
Time to shine your light
Brothers sisters soul family
We came together for a reason
To be the rainbow tribe
So take up your arms
And shoot those Ray’s of light
Out into the universe
Revealing the healing
The layers are finally being removed
Now’s the Time to open your soul
It’s time to rise…

Poem 2

Heal the land, heal the people, heal the trees
Heal the earth, heal the skies, heal the seas
May our hearts be warmed by the fire
The fire of great spirit
Spirit knows who you are
Now it’s time for you to find out
Which way will you follow?
The path of hate
Or the path of love?
Heal the land, heal the people, heal the trees
Heal the earth, heal the skies, heal the seas
May we hold ourselves in honour
Crystal allies by our side
Smudging buddies to hand
Cleansed and protected
To walk the path of the luminous warrior
With weapons of mass compassion
Kindness and radiance
Our superpowers
Heal the land, heal the people, heal the trees
Heal the earth, heal the skies, heal the seas
Heal them for you and me
The change is coming
Just you wait and see
Now is the time to be
Remembered
For what you do
When hard times fall
Time to heed the warriors call.

Poem 3
Flow said the crow
you know it’s time to go
when you see me near
lift up your wings and fly
soar into the sky
following the stars
beyond the moon
reaching upwards to the heavens
the chamber of your soul
time to become whole
calling back the pieces
complete and whole
I see with your eyes
and you see with mine
reality’s mirror
reflection of the inside on the outside
flow said the crow
Be like the ocean
wide and expansive
deepening your truth
and honouring your heart’s path
I won’t let you fall
if you trust and take the jump
I will catch you
flow said the crow
it’s time to go…
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Drum Birthing

Recently after a few years of saying it was something I wanted, and that I wouldn’t anyway because I am a vegan…I made a drum. I had always thought I would get an artificial drum and not make it myself if I ever really wanted a drum, but then I changed my mind. I met the wonderful Melonie when we both did our Level 1 Moon Mother Training together back in 2016…soon after that I attended another one of her personal workshops which was a weekend of sharing with women, with another woman who has become a good friend of mine- Maia. Anyway. From there on I have been following Melonie’s work for some time. She does a lot of amazing things- workshops for women, educating younger people about puberty and menstruation, womb massage, drum circles and making drums….check her drum making stuff out here.

From following her social media channels I could see Melonie is a really good soul, and puts a lot of thought into what she does. I read about how she really cares about where the materials for her drums come from, so she gets the animal skins as ethically as possible. Currently she gets them from culling programs, from animals who would have been burnt. Whilst I don’t agree with culling in itself, it does feel more honouring for the animal for the skins to be used this way, and the difference between this for me and wearing fur, is during the session we truly did honour every part that we used. I don’t expect other vegans to agree with me (I expect a lot probably will not) but this was how I felt, and that’s why I thought I would write about my experience with Melonie (I’ve not made drums with anyone else ever so maybe not all work in this way) to give the full picture of what it felt like a vegan to do this.

We were originally supposed to do the drum birthing day at a friends house, but then my friend had to self isolate, and it looked like it wasn’t going to go ahead. Then one of the other ladies who was attending, told a friend of hers, and that friend then offered her space, so all was on again, and this was literally the day before.

It took me a while to get there (hour and half) and then in our small group I only knew Melonie (there was supposed to be 3 people there I actually do know) so my discomfort was rising. Already I knew I was going to be out of my comfort zone but this was even more so.

Tea was made, altar set, table set up, then Melonie opened the circle for the day with a beautiful heart opening/ connection meditation and a quick share about each of us and our intents.

We then could choose our hoop. She had brought several and encouraged ourselves to pick up each one and really feel into which was the one for our drum. As it turned out each of us picked a different size and each one was really significant for each person. Mine is willow wood, which is the wood of my favourite tree! Then Melonie got us to ask the hoop how it could be honoured, and she had kindly brought lots of items (smudging bits, glastonbury water etc) we could use. Mine wanted fire, so I used the candle we had on the altar and I also drew moon mother symbols onto it with my fingers to imbue it with the energies of radiance, love, hope and peace.

Then it was time to see the animal hides, the bit I was dreading. As it were, all of us were a little nervous, one of the other ladies was also a vegan, and the other just hadn’t thought about the fact she would be working with animal hide! Mel very gently got ourselves to touch it, and get in touch with the energy of it. The first we looked at was a stag hide. I could feel the sadness rippling off it, and tears were coming to a few of us. Then Mel told us to ask the hide how it would like to be honoured. This hide wanted love, and we gave love by singing a song to it (I wasn’t familiar with the song so I can’t remember what song it was) I think there was something else we did too but I can’t remember what that was now). I really noticed the change of energy after we sang, as it now felt much more peaceful. then we moved onto the reindeer skin (the one I chose to work with). This one needed to be shaken (like when you ‘shake it off’ if you like)! then needed smoke, and I wanted to use the rose petals so we used a rose as a smudging tool.

Now here’s the part where I start to get a bit fuzzy as it was a few weeks back now, but it was an interesting day. For some reason I was surprised how much weaving was involved! At times I got frustrated and impatient, as it felt like the others were speeding along with ease but at some point I caught up and we were ready all together to each ‘cut the cord’ and birth our new babies.

Afterwards we made our beaters and did a journey to our drums to find the spirit of the drum. Mine was a rose. The same as we smudged the drum with.

The interesting thing was that Mel had said at the start that often the birthing process reflects our own birth or a birth of a child. My birth was long (8 hours) and I had to be pulled out with forceps. I got impatient with my drum as I thought I was taking too long and it felt awkward as I was tying it together knots kept appearing that refused to come out of the hole – like me having to be pulled out!

As someone who is not only vegan, but has always struggled with craft, this was an amazing experience. Mel holds it with such love and consideration for both the people attending and the materials (the animal and the tree) she allowed us each free rein to feel exactly what we wanted to create and help us to make that happen with patience and grace. I highly recommend her!

 

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Spring Equinox and Water

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I have been marking the wheel of the year through my circle and media channels since Samhain, and with each season we have worked with a different element. Samhain- Fire, Winter Solstice- Earth, Imbolc- Air and now Spring Equinox with water. After begin Air season we had many storms and now we are water, we are in a midst of a worldwide pandemic and being told to wash our hands at every opportunity.

Spring equinox is the balance between the dark and the light, and new beginnings as the flowers begin to bloom and new life is appearing. This also seems somewhat apt in the current climate to me, as it seems we are on literally seeing the divide between the dark and the light, not just outside ourselves but within. I have probably seen in myself every kind of emotion possible in the last few weeks- I have been angry, sad, depressed, confused, but also at times hopeful, positive, happy, determined. There are people stealing from food banks, and standing outside retail shops (including the one I work in) pretending to cough and laughing. On the other hand there is much kindness around, people setting up groups to help others, communities coming together online as they can’t do it in person. I am still very much jumping between every emotion on the spectrum, but I do also really believe that when this eventually finishes there will be a new beginning of some sort, I’m just not sure what.

We did the women’s circle online this week for the first time ever over skype. It actually worked really well. To honour the season we each made special flower water to send love to ourselves, others and the planet. We envisioned the bowls coming together with our indiviual blends and when I looked up the symbolic meanings of what we had all put in it seemed very apt for now.

Sending a lot of love to everyone right now, we’re in this together even if we’re apart.

 

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Poetry Dowsing Week 10

I’m a bit delayed in posting about last week this time because of working, but also because the world is a little upside down topsy turvy at the moment….got even more blog ideas to write too including about spiritual practices at this time but after a weird mixed emotion day in this real life dystopian novel it feels better to focus on a blog not about you know what…

If you haven’t been reading this series of blogs I’ve been writing over the last 10 weeks you might want to read the first post for a little background info here

The theme fittingly of last week was ‘Uncovering a sense of safety’ being more aware of our personal safe spaces and people that we can turn to when we need to. Following on from my thoughts from a previous week, I consider myself to be really lucky as I have two huge communities I am part of- my shamanic family and my Moon Mother family, in addition to my physical family. I am so grateful that I have them all in my life for support.

The exercise I found quite easy without sounding big headed, as it was about making a list of 5 things you have achieved, it could be anything. I like to push myself with things so I often work hard to achieve the things I want. I decided to write 5 things I have achieved in a creative sense so I put 1. I had a chapter published in a book, 2. Recently I have been writing more poetry again, 3. I have done public poetry readings, 4. I wrote another story for my book recently and 5. I have wrote something almost every day this year even if it was just my morning pages

I managed to do two walks last week, both at Wanstead flats, but one of the days I went to a different part a little further away which was lovely with a big pond with swans and ducks etc. On the other walk I was hunting for a stick to make my beater with for my new drum baby! I birthed my drum on Saturday so that was my artist date. It was challenging on all sorts of levels but I did it! (that’s one of the blogs I want to write) . I did my morning pages all but one day. No poetry last week, but I have already wrote one this week which I will share in my next post about this course 🙂

 

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Poetry Dowsing Week 9

This blog follows a series of blogs I’ve been writing following my progress through a creative course I am participating in currently, to read what about what exactly I am doing, please read the post first here

Uncovering a sense of Perspective was the theme of last week. We were encouraged to reconsider any time we thought of ourselves as ‘not’ being able to do something.

The weekly dowsing exercise was to think of 5 things you’d be willing to try in a creative sense if you were less scared. For extra brownie points, you could make a small step towards one of them. It took a lot of thinking for me to come up with 5 things but the results were surprising..the 5 I came up with were:

  1. actually finish and publish a full length book (known to start many books and not follow through to the end)
  2. Organise a ‘spiritual’/ creative circle
  3. make something- I label myself as bad at crafts of all kinds…
  4. have some arty photos of myself done (hate posing)
  5. experiment with different styles of clothing.

The things I did last week to do with any of this? I wrote another story for my book I’m currently working on,and  thought about what a creative spiritual circle would look like. One of the scariest things for me on that list is making something (I have tried many times in the past but the results are never what I want), and guess what I’m doing this week? (part of week ten but close enough)! I’m going to make my own drum! Felt the call and going to do it this week, which is going to be a challenge for me in many ways.

My walk was another brief one to Wanstead Flats (but not on my own this time). There was one day I almost didn’t do my morning pages as I had to wake up extremely early for work but I did them in the end, just later after waking up than usual, so I still did the morning pages every day. For my artist date I looked at online museums and I managed to find to a really suitable one in the week of International Women’s Day here

I wrote one poem during week 9 after giving my first ‘double’ womb blessing to someone.

A new reality is coming
Can’t you see it breaking
Breaking through the gossip and the lies
Trying to shroud us with deceit
But the veil has been lifted
The new age resistance is ready
Feeling the way is only forward
There is no looking back
We can’t be blinded by the notion of lack
Instilled in us from an early age
Taught that life is hard
Everyday has to be an ongoing battle
To win the race of most worked to the bone
The new reality is coming
Where this way of living will be no more
We can learn to be ourselves again
Dancing even in the rain
Seeing, feeling, knowing
The abundance of living
The new reality is coming
Just open your eyes
You can feel it.

 

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Poetry Dowsing Week Eight

*This blog follows a series of blogs I have been writing about a creative course I have been taking part in. If you want to know more about what I am doing, take a look at my blog about the first week here

The theme of Week Eight was ‘Uncovering a Sense of Truth’ so about trying to follow our true ‘north’. That was interesting in yourself as in my shamanic work this year the next direction of the medicine wheel I am heading towards is the North, and part of that direction is about finding your true path. I seem to be in an ongoing struggle with that at the moment, I know what I want to do with my life but it feels like sometimes my life is blocking me each time I take a step towards it. But maybe it’s just a test to see how determined I am…

The exercise for this week was about sensory rituals that bring us pleasure in whatever form that takes. For myself, I decided to have a play with our steel drum finding joy in the pleasant tones it makes.

I finally did a walk that was an intentional nice one and on my own. I went to Wanstead Flats again but this was the first time I went on my own. It was rather windy and damp but I saw a robin, crows, pigeons and parakeets so that was very nice.

I did my morning pages everyday and for my artist date I watched some Netflix. Sadly no poems this week.

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Poetry Dowsing Week Seven

Note: This follows on from a series of blogs I’ve been writing. following my progress of a creative course I am taking part in. If you haven’t been reading my previous blogs and are interested to know what it is I’m doing, please read my first blog about it here

The focus for Week Seven was ‘Uncovering a Sense of Resilience’. So this week when I felt I was failing or not doing so good, I would have to remember dark/hard times I’ve managed to get through in the past. To remember my own strength to overcome fear, stress, pain etc.

For the ‘Dowsing’ Exercise this week, we had to think of those who we turn to for support when we need them. Then think of qualities and traits those people have that you appreciate. Remembering this list when things get tough. I have a lot of friends but not many I have really close friendships with, and no one at this time I would consider a ‘best friend’ (I did have but sadly I recently had to let go of that relationship) but there are people I do feel I can talk to, that’s a good thing of being part of a larger shamanic community. As we’re all going through the same process (in our case of the Peruvian medicine wheel), we tend to support each other when it’s needed. My supportive friends are from this community and the Moon Mother community, also the wider spiritual community. I appreciate friends who listen as well as talk, who are patient, understanding and kind.

The walk this week was in nature briefly with a friend yesterday, I went to visit her in her area to give her some help with job hunting, she knew I was feeling a bit low, so before getting to the work bit, we had a walk in a nearby National Trust site with a lovely flowing river and plenty of trees, and both talked out things that were on our mind.

My artist date was listening to music, and I did the morning pages everyday although I almost didn’t yesterday, but in the end I just did them later in the morning than usual.

I managed to write two poems this week, the first one I’m really pleased with, the second I’m only sharing on this blog for now as it feels very vulnerable and exposing for me.

Dancing with my shadow 💙
I see the side of me that’s been hidden
Hidden in the dark
Out of sight out of mind
Locked up emotions
Not to be acknowledged
It’s not ladylike to be angry
She never says anything
We can walk all over her
But the shadow and I now dance
A dance to embrace it all
A salsa and a tango
With a side of ballroom to go
We dance step by step
The shadow and the light
Acknowledging all that is
Becoming whole
Seeing the truth of who I am
A real and vulnerable soul
Can’t always be good
Can’t always be bad
Just have to to be complete
Forever dancing with my shadow 💙
Dancing for all eternity
Becoming true and free
Dancing with my shadow 💙
Because it’s the best way to be
To navigate this jungle of illusion we call life
No need to fear
Otorongo is on our side
She’s got my back
As I dance with my shadow 💙
Twirling round and round
The journey never ends
The wheel ever turning
Bringing me back to my self

2nd Poem
I feel like I’m falling falling
into a trap
of my own self creation
putting the blinkers on
Not seeing the truth
Hiding from what’s inside
Falling Falling
Into a rhythm
Of emotional breakdowns
Puncuated by Breakthroughs
I want to be strong
but sometimes I am weak
Knowing what to do
but blocking myself.
I need your help
Can’t you see
I know it’s all about me
But please help me to be free
Help me to find the key
of understanding life’s emotional rollercoaster
sometimes not even knowing
what it’s all about
I need to find my own feet
and sleep so deep
That I can wake up as a new born
Seeing life for the first time
For the first time
for what it truly is
Remembering all there is now
Joy is not found in the past or the future
Time to live in the present
It takes time to be truly alive
Now I know the secret
The falling’s not so hard
and just a part of this beautiful mess called life
Thank you for catching me
Holding me when I’ve needed it the most
A solid foundation is what we have
underneath the occassional tremor
We know what we have is true
No matter what
I will hold space for you
as you hold it for me
Together we watch the wheel turn
even when we’re not facing in the same direction
we’re heading for the same destination
the heart is stronger than the head
Let’s hold each other tight
we’ll soon forget the fight
no need to be afraid
our souls are tied like a braid
I feel like I’m falling falling
this time in deeper love with you.

 

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