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The Circle

Once upon a time there was a girl called Rosa. Rosa was very sad. Rosa was sad because she felt lonely. She felt like no one loved her because although she did have some friends she hardly saw them and this made her feel like she wasn’t very important to them or to anyone really.

Rosa knew a very wise man who lived in the jungle. She decided she would go visit him for help because she didn’t want to feel sad anymore. To get to the jungle, she needed to go further down the river, so she left her village and went to the river where she found her trusty canoe. She rode as fast as she could, because she couldn’t bear these feelings anymore.

Because the wise man was wise, he always knew exactly when Rosa would visit him, so when she arrived in the jungle, he was there waiting for her. “Hello Rosa” he said and offered his hands to help her out of the canoe.

“There is pain in your heart, what caused this?” he asked, looking concerned. Rosa began to cry. The wise man let her finish crying, because he knew crying was very important as it helped the emotion to be released. After a few minutes Rosa spoke of her pain of feeling alone and not important. The wise man put a blanket around her and led her into the jungle where he walked her to a clearing, where there was a big fire burning bright.

The wise man sat Rosa next to the fire. Pointing at the fire he said, ” This is Taita Wari, the Great Transformer, he will help you.” then he walked away leaving Rosa on her own in front of the fire. Rosa didn’t know what she was supposed to do but she trusted the wise man so she sat and just stared into the flames of the fire.

The longer she stared, the more hypnotised she felt. From out of nowhere, she found herself getting up and dancing around the fire. She kept dancing, and colours exploded around her, so she could no longer see the fire or even herself, just the bright colours of orange, red and yellow.

Then the colours changed and she was no longer dancing around a fire, but she was now dancing around a huge ancient oak tree, with dewy grass under her feet and she was no longer alone. Dancing with her, were animals of all shapes and sizes, dancing in a circle around the tree. Even though some of the animals were predators and some were prey, they were still dancing around the tree happily with no fear or threat of violence.

Soon the tree faded away again and Rosa was dancing around the fire once again, but now she was dancing around the fire with people from her life- some friends, some family members, some work colleagues, and some acquaintances.  She felt really happy as she continued to dance.

The dance began to slow and the people began to fade away, and in their place were large rocks. The dance stopped and Rosa felt a sense of peace, as she stood in this circle of stones.

The wise man came back smiling.  “Now you understand Rosa, everything and everyone is connected. Every person, every plant, every animal, every stone, and not one is more important than the other. We are all part of the web of life and everyone is equal. Even if we sometimes feel alone, we are never truly alone. All you need to do is be yourself and remember you are part of everything. Nothing else matters.”

 

For All My Relations ❤

 

 

 

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How 2018 started

One month has already passed!

So how did I get on so far with my focus and intentions?

I felt ill/run down for a lot of January so I wasn’t very focused really until towards the end of the month and I am only just now really thinking of how to apply them and steps to making them happen. But here’s how it was:

Love/Energy/Prosperity- my 3 words for the year, well other than going out for lunch for Miguel’s birthday, that’s the only thing I can relate to any of those words to be honest that happened in January.

healing work to next level- well no further training at this stage but I did have 3 womb healing clients.

to be more empowered in all areas of my life- the womb healing work and I helped to teach at one of the Introduction to Shamanism classes

to be more visible- went to a few events

to create new beginnings- nothing yet

to let go and allow flow more- letting go one thing at a time..

what I actually got up to:

For Miguel’s birthday we had lunch at Molo Lounge in Southend high street followed by going to the shamanic group that evening.

I went to Red Tent Rayleigh which had a focus on Womb healing, so we did some womb yoga, massaged our bellies with specially blended oils and then had a sound journey.

Unfortunately had to cancel my Red Tent as no one had paid so couldn’t take the risk of going all the way to London for no reason. I’m taking a break from it for a while so that I can focus on my self.

I went to the Goddess circle, we had an Imbolc ritual, did a Journey to the Goddess Brigid and then made Brigid’s Crosses.

The month ended with me hosting a small womb blessing circle for the Worldwide Womb Blessing day that took place on the same day as the super blue blood moon (powerful)!

I’m hoping this month will be better!!!

 

 

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New year 🎆

A bit late in posting, thanks to being ill during the first week of the year but happy new year!

I always add more intentions for the year ahead in January (I start setting them in October, at the witches New year)

I always pick three words, for 2018 I have chosen: love, energy and prosperity.

I would like to have more energy/vitality- my health has been slacking, I’ve been eating too many vegan treats, not getting enough exercise, not taking my vitamins and my energy has not been great. I plan to work on my health to keep me feeling more alive again!

I intend to be more abundant. I struggled a lot last year with this, in 2018 I need to get things back on track and be able to do things when I want to do them and treat myself now and again!

I intend to rediscover romance in my relationship. We had a hard 2017 and haven’t been having a lot of fun/happy times. We need this back!

I intend to take my healing work to the next level. I hope to do level 2 moon mother training this year (just need to raise the money and be able to get to Glastonbury) and also do an animal healing course. And continue to develop my skills in Shamanism. And help more people!

 

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How December 2017 was

Slight delay in posting as first week of this year I have not been feeling well! I’m starting to recover now though and start getting ready for a much better year!

But first here is a look back on how the last month of the year went.

focus for 2017 words were: Divine Feminine, Balance and Happiness:

I did a lot of womb healing work for others during December so was a very Divine Feminine month, which also made me feel happy and generally I think I was more balanced. (I started trying to manage my time better without disrupting flow too much)

Overall for the year I think Divine Feminine and finding balance were big the big themes of the year but happiness not so much unfortunately.

Intentions

Cook more- did cook a few times in December. Overall I only did a little more cooking in 2017 and that was towards the end of the year really.

make more time for creativity- nothing specific in December. Overall for the year I didn’t do that well with this either, although I did start going to a witchy circle where we do a lot of crafting activities that have been quite challenging for me.

Be better at birthdays- still not great and another intention I didn’t do great on overall but mainly because of money reasons..

finish the lists- a few odd bits- I learnt that I would never finish the lists as I was always adding more on!!!

live to my cycle and educate others- yes! healings and Red Tent. Overall I was really good at that in 2017.

The intentions I added for the “new year” which I added in October on the witches new years. I have added more on official New Year but I will write a separate post for those as they were not yet active in December 🙂

to be empowered more in all areas of my life- yes more so, a lot more empowered in my healing work especially during December.

to be more visible- yes, because of healing work but also attended a few events and hosted the Red Tent

to create new beginnings- slowly slowly

to let go and allow FLOW more- still slowly letting things go…and finding sometimes life is forcing me to flow sometimes not in a way that’s nice!

What I got up to in the final calender month of 2017!

I had 4 clients!

I hosted the Red Tent and this time did it as part of the Worldwide Womb Blessing as the December one fell on a Sunday so perfect timing! This time Daren had made the event and out it on his Meet Up page so a much better turn out, with about 5 women showing up 🙂

I went along to Migs new shamanic group for one of the sessions and ending up teaching about pendulums! (the session was about shamanic tools)

We had our work xmas meal at ASK who now have a vegan menu and it was delish!

I had a healing session for myself with Gareth which was a general clearing and a soul retrieval. I really needed it!

I went for a lunch out with Vicky, Carina and Lauren at a cafe in Rayleigh, another place with a vegan menu and finally tried Pulled Jackfruit- I loved it!

I went to Red Tent Rayleigh and this time we tried tribal bellydance. I didn’t enjoy it as much as the chakra dance.

We celebrated Winter Solstice with our yearly roast

Went to my grandad’s for Boxing Day

January so far I have a few clients booked in and another Red Tent session booked in for the end of the month.

 

 

 

 

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Look Back on 2017

Music of 2017

Music wasn’t very important to me again this year, I didn’t go to any gigs and I only really listened to Spotify. I did sometimes listen to new albums this way but I guess the only one that was of note for me was Kasabian’s new album “For Crying Out Loud”, the first single is rather catchy:

Books

I’ve hardly read anything this year 😦 I set myself the challenge of reading 47 books this year and I’ve only managed 16…I’ve not been given many books or bought many..and I’m starting to run the library dry now…

The best ones I read were Love Your Lady Landscape by Lisa Lister, Goddess Wisdom (which I won my copy of) by Taniska, and very weird but intriguing fiction The Vegetarian by Han Kang. I got Witch by Lisa Lister for Winter Solstice which I have just started but I’m very excited to read it and hopefully it’s as good as everyone says.

Films and TV

I saw one film at the cinema as I took my mum to see the new live version of Beauty and the Beast for Mother’s Day and it was very good.

Other things I enjoyed were the new Russell Howard series, and the series based on Phillip K Dick Stories “Electric Dreams”

Moments/Things I did in 2017

Did a lot more Moon Mother work, I actually had a few paying clients this year for both healings and blessings!

I ended my Southend based women’s circle and started a Red Tent in Hackney Wick. It’s been a bit slow to start but had a better turn out in December so hoping it will grow properly in 2018!

I took part as a student in Miguel and Gareth’s Shamanic Foundation Course, which took quite a large part of the year (lessons every 2 weeks), it was challenging and empowering. In September I started on the Shamanic medicine wheel proper, so I am now a mesa carrier and am currently on the South.

arranged a surprise fire ceremony for Miguel’s birthday

I started giving Munay Ki and I have taken 3 people so far all the way through the rites. Hopefully I will train them to give it early next year

I went to a women’s retreat weekend in London which was very powerful.

We lost our other cat Mitzi in the summer 😦

For my birthday I went to Belfairs woods for a butterfly walk which was really lovely

I worked at two retreat weekends which were also very powerful healing experiences for myself

I started going to a few other circles, I went to a Goddess circle and started going to Red Tent Rayleigh towards the end of the year.

For our anniversary we went to see the Pink Floyd exhibition at the VMA.

Went to a MBS and a Yoga/Vegan fair in Southend

won lots of competitions- I won the Goddess Wisdom book, a Womb Skype Ceremony, popcorn and a Moon Mama t shirt!

it was in lots of ways, a difficult year, there were a lot of struggles but also a lot of empowerment. Hopefully next year the changes that need to happen will manifest and it will be a happier year! My Plans and other resolutions of the year to come soon!

 

 

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How November 2017 was…

focus for the year: Divine Feminine, Balance and Happiness

Divine Feminine- as usual I did a lot towards this, as well as all my daily work, I went to quite a few women’s groups, I won a Skype Womb Ceremony (well basically we talked about red tents, periods and yonis for an hour lol) and did one womb healing.

Felt I was a bit more balanced as I started to go out a bit more than I have been for most of the year! and because of this I was also doing more things that made me happy 🙂

Intentions

Cook more- did cook a few times

Make more time for creativity- did write a blog, and attempted crafting at one of the circles I went to…

Be better at birthdays- no

Finish the lists- no not really

Live to my cycle and educate others- yep

and my new intentions that I created on Witches New Year..

to be empowered in all areas of my life- in a way yes as I made myself go out more even when I thought we couldn’t really afford it..but also I started to get the influx of bookings for healings! I’ve already had two clients in December and I’ve still got another 3 booked in!

to be more visible- Yep! I went to three events.

to create new beginnings- well I’m slowly tying loose ends to make it easier when the time is right to be able to move…

to learn to let go more and allow FLOW into my life- it’s a slow process as I do love my lists and being organised, but I have been slowly letting go week by week of different lists and different things that stop me from being in the moment. It’s just finding the balance of being in the moment but also making sure things do get done!!

What I got up to during November- I went to the Rayleigh Red Tent, I went a few years ago but hadn’t taken the time for myself to go again even though the venue is literally across the road from where I work! It was quite good, we had a share and then got to try Chakra Dance, which I never done before but it was really good, and we had blindfolds on so it was even more liberating!

I went to the Sisters of the earth Goddess circle I’ve been attending the last few months. We did a guided meditation to the Goddess Freya and made crone dolls. I wasn’t very good so mine is still sitting here unmade 😦

It was transgender day of remembrance on the 20th so I called on others to join and light a candle and send a wave of love at 8pm on that day.

I met up with my friend Lauren and we went to leigh, where I got some crystals and we went had vegan cake at a bookshop that has a coffee shop inside with a vegan menu!

I had a womb healing client and I finished someone else on their Munay Ki Path.

I went to an anti fur protest in Leigh

I went to an evening event which was an hour of gentle yoga and a sound bath, very relaxing!

December so far seems to be all about the healings! (and I did actually pick the card ‘The singer of healing’ as my card for this month on my year reading) I don’t do Xmas but will be going to the work xmas meal which is at ASK this year (I’m looking forward to it as another venue that has a vegan menu now) and we will be celebrating the Winter Solstice. I’m also hoping to go to Red tent Rayleigh again and go out for new year.

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The Importance of Ceremony for Transitions

The other day, shortly after completing giving someone the final Munay Ki rites, I was browsing on the internet and I came across a page about Red Tent End of Life Doulas. I’d never heard of this, so with intrigue I watched a few of their videos. They are people that help people to deal with their end of life upcoming transition of death. In the videos, they speak a lot about how people are scared of death and we tend to avoid it as much as possible and we don’t really honour it.

This got me thinking about the transitions we have in life and how we mark them. When you think about it, there’s not that many that most people will honour with a ceremony or celebration. The ones we have are: marriage, births, birthdays, christenings, graduation….death is not generally honoured until it’s gone, with a funeral, which usually will be quite sad, and a time of grief not celebration….We don’t honour when a girl has her first period, when a woman reaches menopause, when a boy comes of age (in most belief systems), the spiritual side of death…some very important life rites that every single person has. Of course there are some exceptions to the rule but they are not in the mainstream or only in certain religions. We spend so much time when we know someone is going to die, to prepare ourselves to lose this person in our lives but not always so much to help prepare them for this final transition in their lives.

I really feel that we should honour these life transitions more. We might all have different ways of honouring, some more complex than others, but why are natural things that happen to everyone made taboo? The conversation is opening up more about menstruation, but has a long way to go, as does menopause. We spend so much time trying to push it all away, not saying no one should use methods of relief for painful symptoms, but we also need to see the amazing side of what our bodies can do. Maybe if we honour our bodies more, our bodies will be kinder to us? If we had a special celebration say when you got your first period, don’t you think you would have a bit of a different view than what you do now?

I hope this ramble of the thoughts in my head make some sort of sense! It’s something I definitely would like to help people with, I’d love to do menarche ceremonies and more, what an honour that would be to create something so special for someone 🙂

Let’s honour the life cycles more and celebrate them, not just focus on the shadow side of them….

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Look back at October 17 and now Witches New Year!

My usual end of the year combined post!

First to look back at how the Witchy month of October has been for me.

Focus for the year: Divine Feminine/Balance/Happiness- carried on with all the Divine Feminine work I’ve been doing and did a few social things that made me happy 🙂

Goals/Intentions:

cook more- cooking once a week at moment, usually a chilli but also did a casserole recently too

to have new experiences/visit new places- did a Goddess Yoga Kundalini class and also tried Goddess Qi Gong, did my first Munay Ki Part 3 and it was beautiful

Step fully into my role as a healer- Munay Ki giving and one Womb healing (as part of an exchange)

activism- none 😦

better at birthdays- none

finish my lists- a little

update on giving up the pill- last cycle was 31 days so a lot better than the previous one! Think I am starting to recognise when I’m ovulating but still learning as it really helps to know how your body works!

make more time for creativity- not lots, but I did write a blog yesterday which was flowing through me…

to live to my cycle and educate others- just the usual stuff really.

what else I got up to-Went to the Goddess circle and made a Samhain Wreath! (with lots of help),Red Tent, this time held by Sarah, only 1 person turned up again 😦  went to a local MBS fair, I didn’t buy anything but I heard part of a talk about veganism, took part in a kirtan and tried Goddess Qi Gong invented by my friend Stella. Went to see my friend Sherry and her animals..and went to a Vegan and Yoga festival on the Sunday just gone, did Goddess Kundalini Yoga, got a pink salt tealight holder and some vegan baked goods. Saw quite a few friends I hadn’t seen for ages at both events.

So as regular readers will know, I am pagan so today is extra special to me as it is Witches New Year! The last year has been good but challenging. I’ve been really working with shamanic energy with the courses I’ve been attending which has been amazing and powerful, but I’ve also been a lot less social and not seen as many of my “regular” friends. There has been a lot of struggle, and more death, as we lost both our cats over the past year, I also lost two uncles. I did a lot of retreat work! I did do a lot of healing work for others to start with but that has dwindled again but the focus has mostly been on myself. I became a Moon Mother and I also started on the Shamanic Medicine Wheel.

So my new intentions for this new Wheel of the Year (more will come in January as they always do, but for now I will start with these)

  1. To be empowered in all areas of my life
  2. To be more visible (start attending more events, seeing people, but also doing the things I want to do, being louder and being SEEN)
  3. To create new beginnings (a new home and a new job are calling so that’s where I need to start)
  4. To learn to let go more and allow more flow into my life

This month so far, what it looks like right now is: attend Red Tent Rayleigh, go to Goddess circle, go to a social of the South students, a week running the shop, and possibly more events but let’s see where FLOW takes me 😉

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Honouring the Enchantress at Samhain

When it comes to Divine Feminine/Goddess energy, we often talk about the triple Goddess- Maiden, Mother and Crone. But in reality there are four aspects to the Divine Feminine. The aspect that often gets ignored and left out, is the third element (Crone being the fourth) is that of the Enchantress or Wild Woman.

Why is she left out?

Society is scared of her.

The Enchantress is powerful and full of great wisdom. She is the creatrix.

So why are we scared of her? She shows us our shadow. She shows us our triggers and makes us aware of what we need to release. This can be a scary process. We don’t always want to acknowledge our wounds.

The Goddess aspects also occur in a woman’s menstrual cycle. Unsurprisingly, the Enchantress represents the pre menstrual time. A very difficult time for many women as ‘negative’ emotions come up like anger, frustration or even sadness. This is the Enchantress bringing up those emotions so we can recognise our triggers and learn to deal with them, and release them during the crone phase (menstrual cycle) during the Crone phase, we can release those triggers as we can now understand them and accept them.

I have found the Enchantress challenging. I found her the most difficult aspect to embrace. I didn’t like that I would be impatient and get angry, anger has always been a difficult emotion for me to accept.

With time I am now starting to fully embrace my Enchantress and know the true magic she holds.

The Enchantress is a creatrix.

The Enchantress is a witch.

She is intuition and divine connection. She holds the keys to healing ourselves.

The Enchantress is daring.

She is challenging but empowering.

The Enchantress knows no boundaries. She only speaks the truth.

The Enchantress dares. She creates. She is a divine yet forgotten part of Shakti.

At this time the veil is growing thin, let us acknowledge the Enchantress in us all, whether female or male, the Enchantress in the Earth.

She is Autumn, both dark yet colourful at the same time.

I will no longer be scared of my inner darkness and allow the Enchantress to speak, to help me to create, to listen to my inner wisdom.

I urge you to do the same.

Vishwa Shakti Avaham…

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An Open Letter to Southend

To Southend

You have been my home for thirty three years but now I feel it is time for us to ‘break up’ and I need to move forward and spread my wings elsewhere.

I am grateful for all that I have achieved and all the people I have met during this time. I am grateful for the places here that have been important to me at various points of my life.

The schools I went to here, college and homes I’ve had. The high street which has been the backdrop of many a memory I’ve made here. I used to spend a lot of times with friends trawling around the highstreet, trying out lipbalms in the Body Shop or spending ages looking at all the candles and crystals when Spellbound existed. Going to the cinema.

Then of course there’s the seafront. Memories of walking up and down, eating strawberry laces and drinking slush puppies. Going to the arcades, winning sweets and printing out astrology compatibility reports from one of the machines. Going to what used to be Peter Pan’s and visiting the Crooked House and riding the Ferris Wheel. Seeing the fairytale creatures of the long gone but not forgotten Never Never Land. When I was a teenager and having my first experience of ‘cruising’ and not really understanding the concept of being in someone’s car and not going anywhere.

My family home. My grandparents. Both houses with many memories.

The events I’ve held here- the charity gigs at The Railway Hotel. The djing opportunties at The Kursaal and at Saks Underground.

The Alex for being the place to go to dance on a Friday or Saturday to grunge and metal. The later a little further in Rayleigh, the Pink Toothbrush, my very first memory of going while I wasn’t old enough and not being allowed in, feeling sorrowful as I could hear the sound of Blink 182 blaring out. Saks Underground, The Royal Hotel and the Railway Hotel not only for the gigs but for the vegan food! The Oaktree Market for a many a lovely meal and celebration.

The beautiful Priory Park, Prittle Brook and my favourite place the “secret” garden Churchill Gardens.

Here has been the foundation of my life. I have met so many people that have had huge influences on my life here and many that will continue to do so.

A piece of my heart will always be here and I will be back regularly.

It is not the time yet but the time is coming that it is time for us to move on. Friendships, connections and new beginnings are forming somewhere else.

I am stating my intent that we are ready to go now. With a heart full of gratitude I let this place go as the place I live although it will always be home.

Thank you for all that you have given me.

Hayley

xx

 

 

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